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Date Posted: 19:06:26 04/11/10 Sun
Author: JulieO
Subject: Page, PMFJI...but I have a few questions>>>>>
In reply to:
Page
's message, "That damned query letter >>>>" on 12:11:18 04/10/10 Sat
Brokay...have you hung out at Query Shark or on Janet Reid's blog? She has some great examples of query letters. This is only my opinion, but I think your word count alone may get you rejected from agents that sell romance. Most agents are looking at 80-100K for single titles. They may go to 120K. Every agent is different, but I'd hate to have your query rejected based on something like that than the merits of your story.
And both of the examples you gave are good, though I like the first starting line better. Keep the main character in your mind - what is their end-all-be-all conflict in the story...what do they HAVE to do? What is on the line for her? What does she risk? She meets a guy, falls in love, and then her world goes to hell in a handbasket. Why does an agent want to read more? What would compel them to care about her in two paragraphs? I think the backstory about Adam is irrelevant in this case - the conflict and story are about Katie and Jay. If she's already lost him to heroin once, isn't the worst case for her to lose him to heroin forever?
And a thousand apologies if'n I stepped on toes. I've been in the brutal query stage for awhile - just recently had one request for full out of nine queries sent. I know how much you want to put your best effort forward when you query - trust me, I'm there! You're a heartbeat away from a kick-ass query letter!!
I wish you all the best, from one Julie to another. :-)
Hugs!
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It's funny you should say that. Not ha-ha funny, but ah-ha funny. *G* >>> -- 
Page, 15:49:12 04/12/10 Mon
I had already decided to ditch Adam from the query when I read your post. (Great minds thinking alike, y'know!) My query letter just flat out said Katie dumped her lover for his best friend, and then the best friend walked out on her, and serves the little hussy right, doesn't it? Ahem. Call up query letter. Hit delete. Start over. And I do love that first hook line about the mistress. It perks up my ears, and I already know what the book's about. So I'm keeping it and reworking the query.
Oh, I'd never send Janet a query for a book with a word count over 80,000 words. Talk about becoming instant chum! Seriously, though, my word count does worry me, and despite swearing on Jimmy Page's head that I wasn't going to do any more cutting/revising, I'm still in there removing words. (Jimmy never has to know, right? And besides, his new book costs $800 - that's not a typo - so he's deserving of a broken promise or two from me until I get over my irritation.) Without shredding the story to unreadable bits I don't think there's any way I'll be able to come in under 125k, but I'm resigned to it. If the word count is the only thing that keeps it from being accepted, then I'll be okay with that. I'll just come back with my second book which has a great murder mystery and lotsa hot sex; after it's published, then I'll slip Carey On in on them. It's a plan, anyway.
No way did you step on toes! I value your input more than you could imagine! Also, I'm so psyched for you on that request for a full! It gives all of us hope and keeps us cutting that word count and revising those blankety-blank-blank queries. Btw, I just read today that the NYTBS The Help was rejected 45 times before it was picked up. You're so ahead of the curve, girl!
Thanks so much for the input and the help. One day I'll get the thing right.
Hugs,
Page
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Whew! I'm glad I didn't open mouth and insert foot *g* >>> -- JulieO, 20:32:58 04/12/10 Mon
Yeah, while Janet says she reps romance, with the exception of "All Roads Lead to You" (a fabulous story, BTW), she doesn't really. However, I have a very close friend who's been running an RWA chapter for a few years, and she concurred about the length. Get it to 120-125K if you want to pursue publishing it as a first timer. Maybe some of the backstory can be eliminated? Any scenes acting as bookmarks? Any scene that doesn't contribute to the heroine attaining her goals? Any scene without conflict? And have you done a 'That-ectomy'? I swear, I got rid of 2,000 words right there. :-)
I'm not exactly the rejection queen, but sometimes it feels like it. I have about 40 more queries to send out - these are the ones that asked for a synop as well as a query. And I don't got one yet. I'm not a big fan of the synopsis - especially since every agent wants a different length. Blurg.
Because of my critique group, I have a great query letter for my current book. But even then some agents I thought would eat it up sent me rejections within a day. Go figure. I'm trying not to take it the wrong way and to keep moving forward.
You, too, okay? I'd love to see your query in its next incarnation. Keep going and keep writing!
Julie
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"That-ectomy." *snerk* >>> -- Page, 15:32:20 04/13/10 Tue
Yep, I've done the That-ectomy, a Had-ectomy, and oh-lord-have-mercy, a Reached out-ectomy. You should see the bruise on my forehead from banging my head against the desk. Amazing how you write something, let it sit for a while and then go back and read it and end up wondering "What was I doing??" Why write, "Katie pulled the door closed behind her," instead of "Katie closed the door?" I've also utilized susiej's Contractions Are Our Friends advice (unless, of course, they're the childbirth kind of contractions in which case they're not our friends but pure, unadulterated evil.)
Still working on the query letter, but since I've gone back to the manuscript to kill, maim and otherwise disfigure 20,000 words it might be a while before I give it my best shot. But I'll certainly be asking y'all's advice when I do!
Hugs,
Page
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