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Date Posted: 15:35:05 03/14/10 Sun
Author: susiej
Subject: Debi>>>
In reply to: Debi 's message, "Line,please response." on 15:12:57 03/07/10 Sun

I liked it. Got so involved I forgot all about looking for -the line. It fit perfectly.

For "rough" it was very smooth kinda like her driving.

Only in the beginning I saw a few redundant clauses- no real need to say his mind wandered then wondering. I think I'd just say Daniel wondered. And it happened again with the visual calculations and checking the speed, etc.

But all in all, a great, tightly written scene.

So this would be before the restraunt scene, right?

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[> [> [> Yes, before the restaurant scene! -- Debi, 16:09:08 03/14/10 Sun

>So this would be before the restraunt scene, right?

It is, a day or so. It give valerie some much needed peace on the subject of her ex- after the way they had last seen one another. Many many moons ago I posted a scene where he came to see her after his current wife had left him. He was drunk and it got worse from there. I'll check the redundancies and fix them up. Thanks susiej!

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