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Date Posted: 18:32:07 05/01/05 Sun
Author: Lucky
Subject: Decision Making and the Coin Toss


Just below Mira commented that a coin toss is not a valid decision-making tool. On the contrary, I would like to refer anyone who feels this way to David A. Wlech's book "Decisions, Decisions." Along with Rules of Thumb the Coin Toss is a perfectly valid mode of making a decision, when one's options have all been throughly reviewed and the parties involved believe that both choices will either not effect their expected happiness or will result in equal happiness.

This is where I see Harm and Mac in this episode.
They kept trying other options but they were always satisfycing - choosing the first acceptable option that came along. At least Mac was. Take for example Brumby LOL!

They both spent at least 8 to 9 years surveying their options and trying to understand the value of them, and this is why when the decision had to be made they are able to do it in a way that seems too easy. What they learned in all those years was all the other options would not maximize their happiness. Also the risk of not being together was too big in their minds, and so not making a decision about "US" was too big of a risk - much bigger of a risk than resigning their commissions and where they would live.

I hope people can undestand this and not wite off this technique of the coin toss for taking decision-makers beyond an impasse, which is where Harm and Mac were. Mac said neither one of us can move on... It really was smart decision-making on their part.

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[> That is if they were not about to move on. Mac and Harm were about to move on, their careers together at JAG was at an end. It might be romantic, the thought of either Harm or Mac ending a career for the other on a coin toss. My question is whether or not in the long run it would be a happy one.. For the reasons I gave below, for all the love and sexual attraction I do not believe it would eventualy work out. Hey lots of people love one another, but marriage simply doesn't work out. -- Mira, 19:10:53 05/01/05 Sun

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[> [> I might add that all was going well between Mac and Mic till he resigned his commission and became the civilian.. Not saying that Mac was wrong in excluding him in JAG business, but I am saying it didn't sit well. Coin toss? Romantic, but... -- Mira, 19:22:38 05/01/05 Sun

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[> [> [> Mira their moving on was just another excuse/opportunity not to make a decision about their own individual personal lives. I do not see the coin toss as romantic, but as necessary for each to move on . They could not move on personally apart from each other, and they could not move on together if they kept using the same techniques for making their personal decisions. Mira are going to make me actually have to think about Brumby, LOL! -- Lucky , Mira glad you posted., 19:49:05 05/01/05 Sun

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[> [> [> [> Then it should have been all or nothing in my opinion Lucky. Either heads we stay in the military and go our seperate ways, or tails we resign, marry and go into practice together.. Then I think they had a chance for happiness.. [inside] -- Mira, 08:59:59 05/02/05 Mon

How do you word it? You LOST so we marry and you give up your career... Or one of them is being noble, not really happy with the idea of resigning, but living with it for the sake of the marriage and the other...

No matter how you slice it, it just doesn't work if you give it much thought.

While I agree with what you said about them not being able to decide for themselves so needed a coin toss... IS EXACTLY WHAT WAS WRONG WITH IT.. Neither loved the other enough to give up their career for the other when push came to shove.. However they didn't want the other to resign and lose their chance at command either... Why? Because each wanted the other to be happy and didn't want to be the cause of this unhappiness..

So let's be married, let's toss a coin, one will have to make a new life while adjusting to marriage while the other rises to higher heights in his/her military career...

I just do not think so...

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[> [> [> I think the main reason why things started to go downhill for Mac & Mic after he resigned his commission is that he did it without consulting Mac, and used it to make her feel obligated. Also, I think that Harm & Mac realised that there were only really 3 ways of trying to decide who should resign..(Inside) -- Mazza, 20:47:15 05/01/05 Sun

They could sit down and try to logically look at points for and against, but it is extremely difficult to decide when you don't know what the future could bring. They could just talk about why each one wants to stay but that would lead to an argument, which neither of them wants. Or they could state that neither of them WANTS to resign their career, and leave it up to chance/fate. This way, they're both willing to resign, all that's being decided is who it's going to be, without any arguing or resentment.

That's my opinion anyway!

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[> [> [> [> Things went bad with Mic because Mac didn't love him enough to marry him....She was in love with another man......The Mic/Mac relationship would have never worked out regardless of what happened....She always loved Harm.... -- Trudie, 23:03:04 05/01/05 Sun

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[> [> [> [> [> I do not think love has anything to do with it, it is the nature of these two people.. Coin toss okay, heads we BOTH resign and marry, tails we part as lovers and resume our careers.. I am sorry but I cannot get what they had planned for next year out of my head. If they had allowed the spin off, Mac would go on to her command ALONE.. [inside] -- Mira, 08:43:42 05/02/05 Mon


Bud was staying in Washington where he could easily guest star from time to time.. Coats would be going with Mac. Didn't you think that was a bit strange since Harm did so much for her? She even told Cresswell how Harm got her back on track.. The whole "give me a chance like you got.." speech from Vic.. He'd be there next year too..

But the show was canceled, so they decided the last minute to do the happy ending thing... However was it? Again in the romantic haze of the moment Mac or Harm giving up everything for the other on the fate of the coin toss seems like "Oh and they lived happily ever after..."

But there is more to a marriage than love, both have to feel happy in what they are doing.. Sorry but I just do not buy that these two self centered people could go on for very long after the first blush wears off without,depression, guilt, envy and finally resentment settling in. It's seen in Hollywood all the time and among other power couples... They are so driven to do their own things that "us" gets lost..

I cannot picture Mac being anything other than what she is, nor Harm.. That is why, even though they love one another it won't work..

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[> [> [> [> [> [> Oh geez Mira, give it up. The show is over, DPB went for a happy ending with Mac and Harm together, in love and getting married and 1 of them giving up their career to make the marriage work. They both were content with the decision and were happy about it. You are over analyzing it and coming up with scenerios that just aren't there and your theories about if there was another season just don't fly because the show wasn't renewed. And because it wasn't renewed, they changed the ending to a happy one. Move on already. -- Kathy, 12:47:30 05/02/05 Mon

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[> [> [> [> [> [> [> And this is coming from me, someone who doesn't like Harm. As long as Mac is happy, I'm happy. -- Kathy, 12:48:55 05/02/05 Mon

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[> [> [> [> [> [> [> [> High five Kathy. -- Muzby, 14:25:16 05/02/05 Mon

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[> They will make it work because love, real love is stronger than any other emotion. I've seen couples like this who care more for their other half than themselves make it work. HOORAH Harm and Mac. -- DAR, 09:16:01 05/02/05 Mon

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[> I'm not sure the coin toss was a great plan, but I don't think they are doomed because 1 has to give up their career. And it is more than just love conquering all (inside) -- Sarah, 10:59:13 05/02/05 Mon

Marriage is about compromise and sometimes one person has to be willing to give up something to see the other succeed.

That being said I think Harm should be the one who resigns or at least looks for another job. There are lots of bases in CA you would think he could find something to do or he could become a private attorney (Mac could too) or flight instructor. He also has Mattie to take care of so it seems like he could use something a little more lower key. I've always thought Harm was better with kids than Mac and I think he would do great if they adopted a kid (really see them adopting an older kid more than a baby given their backgrounds) or even working as a lawyer in domesitc abuses or child abuse cases. I think a lot of that hits too close to home for Mac and it is too painful for her. (Don't bash me I think she has handled some hard cases very well and she was great with Chloe)I just think Harm would have an easier time making a new life than Mac. Either way, I think they can make this marriage work and I think the most sensible place to do that is in the US, hence SD. I do think that they realize they would miss each other more than their careers if they were to part ways.

In many ways Mac has always had less self-respect (evidenced by her bahavior with men - I know a lot of women might disagree but throwing herself at men who wanted her, doesn't show a lot of intrinsic self-worth. Harm had already had one career and has developed other things (Mattie, flying) outside of the military. He even did well when he was with the CIA. Mac seems to get even more of her identity and worth from her work. She is getting better - slapping down Yuck - but still I think Harm would fare better in another career than she would.

I was so glad that it ended as well as it did (I almost turned it off after Mac said yes cause I was sure they were going to screw it up!) Haven't posted here since like 2003 - haven't watched JAG much since then either, so sorry if my analysis seems off cause of newer episodes- but it was good to come back for the series finale!!

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