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Date Posted: Thursday, November 24, 10:23:20am
Author: Louisa
Subject: Happy Thanksgiving to my US Friends

'Twas the Night before Thanksgiving

'Twas the night before Thanksgiving and all through the kitchen
I was cooking and baking and moanin' and bitchin'.
I've been here for hours, I can't stop to rest,
This place is a disaster, just look at this mess!

Tomorrow I've got thirty people to feed!
They expect all the trimmings, who cares what I need!
My feet are both blistered, I've got cramps in my legs,
The dog just knocked over a bowlful of eggs.

There's a knock at the door and the telephone's ringing;
Frosting drips on the counter as the microwave's dinging.
Two pies in the oven, dessert's almost done;
My cookbook is soiled with butter and crumbs.

I've had all I can stand, I can't take anymore;
Then in walks my husband, spilling rum on the floor.
He heaves and he wobbles, his balance unsteady;
Then grins as he chuckles "The eggnog is ready!"

He looks all around and with total regret,
Say's "What's takin' so long?
Aren't you through in here yet?"
As quick as a flash, I reach for a knife;
He loses an earlobe; I wanted his life!

He flees from the room in terror and pain,
And screams "my God woman, you're going insane!"
Now what was I doing, and what is that smell?
Oh, jeeze, it's the pies! They're burned all to hell!

I hate to admit when I make a mistake,
But I put them on broil instead of on bake!
What else can go wrong? Is there still more ahead?
If this is good living, I'd rather be dead.

Lord, don't get me wrong, I love holidays;
They just leave me exhausted, all shaky and dazed.
But I promise you one thing, if I live 'til next year,
You won't find me pulling my hair out in here.

I'll hire a maid, a cook, and a waiter;
And if that doesn't work, I'll have it all catered!

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Replies:

[> Thanks, Louisa! That's wonderful - and oh so true. *G* -- Beaty, Thursday, November 24, 11:47:55am


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[> *Smile* just 'way too close to the truth! Although this year my dd cooked the turkey and trimmings, and my guys did the potatoes, squash, and sweet potatoes, and all I had to do was figure out how to get my blasted walker over to the table without killing anyone! I am thankful for family! -- Merry, Thursday, November 24, 08:47:53pm


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[> Have you been lurking in my kitchen? *lol* We went out this year - while different, it was nice to not really have to cook. I say "not really" because I had to make stuffing for mom so she could have "left overs" Friday and today. -- Ann Ann, Saturday, November 26, 08:33:20pm


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