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by {mikeyG} and VKMax
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Date Posted: 04:17:22 01/30/04 Fri
Author Host/IP: 62.252.0.6
EXT – WOLFRAM & HART OFFICE – DAY
LAWYERS, ASSISTANTS AND OTHER EMPLOYEES ARE BUSY BUSTLING AROUND THE MAIN OFFICE.
INT – WOLFRAM & HART OFFICE: FRED’S LAB – DAY
SPIKE LAYS ON A METAL EXAMINING TABLE, NAKED EXCEPT A WHITE SHEET COVERING HIS LOWER HALF. AROUND HIM W&H SCIENTISTS ARE ANALYZING SHEETS OF PAPER AND VARIOUS MACHINES SURROUNDING SPIKE’S BED. MANY OF THEM SEEM EXCITED AND OTHERS LOOK VERY CONFUSED. SPIKE HIMSELF LOOKS VERY UNCOMFORTABLE BEING UNDER SUCH CLOSE SCRUTINY. ARRIVING WITH A CLIPBOARD IS KNOX, WHO SEEMS VERY EXCITED. HE HURRIEDLY RUNS UP TO FRED, WHO IS STANDING AMONGST THE SCIENTISTS WITH HER HAIR UP IN A PONYTAIL AND HER GLASSES ON. IT’S OBVIOUS THE FRED IS IN FULL-ON SCIENTIST MODE AND LOVING IT.
KNOX
(waving clipboard)
Fred! Fred!
FRED TURNS, KNOX NEARLY KNOCKING HER OVER IN HIS HASTE. HE SMILES HIS APOLOGY THEN HANDS FRED THE CLIPBOARD.
FRED
(reading clipboard)
Is this - ?
KNOX
(nodding)
Yup. His Blood Analysis results.
AS FRED IS READING THE RESULTS OF SPIKE’S BLOOD TEST, LILAH ENTERS THE LAB. SHE STROLLS CASUALLY TOWARDS SPIKE, TOTALLY IGNORING FRED AND KNOX. FRED LOOKS UP FROM THE CLIPBOARD TO LOOK AT LILAH AS SHE PASSES BY.
FRED
(irritated)
What are you doing here, Lilah?
LILAH
(smiling down at Spike)
I’m visiting the patient.
SPIKE
(uncomfortable)
Could you not call me that?
FRED
(to Lilah)
Who gave you permission to be in my lab?
LILAH
(turning to face Fred)
The boss did. You call him Angel. He has other priorities at the present time, so he gave me authorisation to keep tabs on you and your new science project.
(turning back to Spike)
So you managed to survive Hell for months, alone and naked? How’d you manage that?
SPIKE
(still very uncomfortable)
Well, I –
LILAH IGNORES SPIKE, LIFTING UP THE SHEET AND PEEKING UNDERNEATH. SPIKE IS CAUGHT OFF GUARD AND SCRAMBLES TO RECOVER THE SHEET.
SPIKE
(angry)
Oi! I don’t think this is bloody-well acceptable behaviour since I only met you a few days ago!!
LILAH
(whispering to Spike)
At least we know how you manage.
(turning back to look at Fred, who is still reading the clipboard)
So, what’s the verdict? Hellboy here human?
SPIKE SITS UP SUDDENLY, LOOKING AT FRED EXPECTANTLY FOR THE ANSWER. FRED BECOMES FLUSTERED, UNSURE HOW TO ANSWER.
FRED
According to these test results and all our other reports, it appears our initial assumption was right. Spike is human.
(beat)
Conclusively.
SPIKE TAKES IN THE FINAL RESULTS CALMLY, WITH AN UNREADABLE LOOK ON HIS FACE. HE LAYS BACK DOWN, LOOKING AWAY FROM THE OTHERS.
SPIKE
Bloody told you – you just wanted me naked
LILAH
Wow, alone, naked and human; that’s quite the accomplishment. Score one for Team Blonde.
FRED
(to Knox)
Get Angel, tell him the results, he’ll want to know.
KNOX TURNS TO LEAVE AND FRED LOOKS AT SPIKE IN AWE. REALIZING SOMETHING, FRED RUNS AFTER KNOX BEFORE HE CAN LEAVE THE LAB.
FRED
And Knox, get Spike some clothes. He spent the last four months naked, that’s enough for a while.
Starring
David Boreanaz
Vincent Karthieser
Amy Acker
J August Richard
James Marsters
Stephanie Romanov
and Alexis Denisof
Special Guest Star : Alyson Hannigan
guest starring: Brian T. Skala, Jonathan M. Woodward
act 1 & 2 by {mikeyG}. Act 3 & 4 by VKMax
INT – WOLFRAM & HART: FRED’S LAB – DAY
SPIKE SITS ON THE BED, ONLY NOW FULLY CLOTHED IN JEANS AND A RED SHIRT. AROUND HIM STANDS FRED, WES, LILAH, GUNN AND WILLOW. THEY ALL SEEM VERY INTERESTED IN SPIKE, THOUGH SPIKE SEEMS LIKE HE REALLY WANTS TO BE ELSEWHERE.
WILLOW
I can’t believe it. I mean I sorta have to, cuz you’re here and doing the breathing thing, but it’s just so amazing. I can’t even imagine how Buffy will –
SPIKE SUDDENLY PERKS UP AND LOOKS AT WILLOW VERY SERIOUSLY.
SPIKE
She can’t know. Not yet.
WILLOW
(apologetically)
Oh, uh, of course. It’s too soon, I totally get that. You’re gonna need time to adjust, I should’ve seen that.
SPIKE
Right that and the fact that you’re the one who told me not to tell her
GUNN
(confused)
So this is the William the Bloody? Angel’s boy back in the day, killer of two slayers, crazed vamp William the Bloody?
WILLOW
This is our Spike, though kinda new and improved.
GUNN
Wow, he doesn’t look that tough, despite what I’ve seen him do.
SPIKE
(quirking an eyebrow)
Killed more than my share, mate. Care to make it one more?
GUNN
(jokingly)
Think you can take me?
SPIKE
I’d say it’s a sure bet.
GUNN
(chuckling)
He ain’t half bad.
WES
(reverently)
He’s more than that. He’s a legend, much like Angelus. They roamed Europe for decades, leaving behind a trail of death and destruction. He earned the nickname Spike for torturing his victims with railroad spikes.
LILAH
Well thank you for the backstory, Wes, but next time try that without the drool.
WES
(scowling at Lilah)
When he was still a vampire, William the Bloody earned that title with pure vicious behavior. Few Watchers have had the opportunity to be in his presence and live to talk about the encounter. His actions are well chronicled by the Council. I actually knew another Watcher who wrote her thesis on him. And now here he is, human.
ANGEL
(os)
I knew him back then. Not that impressive.
EVERYONE TURNS TO FACE ANGEL WHO HAS JUST ENTERED THE LAB AND IS STILL STANDING IN THE DOORWAY. AS HE MOVES TOWARDS THE GROUP, SPIKE REGARDS HIM SARDONICALLY.
SPIKE
Missed you, too, Peaches. Was wondering when you’d come visit the living miracle.
ANGEL
The real miracle is how you’re still here.
(to Fred)
Are the tests all finished?
FRED
(flustered)
Um, yes, we’re all done here.
ANGEL
Then I think it’s time Spike here moved on to more welcoming pastures.
LILAH
Meow.
ANGEL
Shut up, Lilah.
WILLOW
(trying to relieve some tension)
Did you hear about –
ANGEL
Yeah, I know all about Spike’s little transformation. And Willow?
WILLOW
(sadly)
Yeah?
ANGEL
Don’t you have research to be doing? Pretty dire stuff if I remember correctly.
WILLOW DOESN”T REPLY, SHE SIMPLY WALKS OUT OF THE LAB, SHOOTING THE REST OF THE GROUP A LOOK TO EXPRESS HER GRIEF OVER ANGERING ANGEL. ANGEL THEN CONTINUES ON TO JOIN THE REST OF THE GROUP.
ANGEL
(to Spike)
So are these all your things, or will you need help packing?
GUNN
Angel, man, why are you so hard on him? Cut him a break, it’s gotta be rough to be him right now.
WES
Yes, I don’t think it’s wise to force him out on his own so soon. We have no idea how his sudden resurfacing will affect him. His current condition may only be temporary.
ANGEL
He doesn’t have the flu, Wes, he’s human. And he needs to go.
SPIKE
(scoffing)
So much for helping the helpless.
ANGEL
I’ve known you for over a century, Spike, and you’ve never been helpless. And since when do you ever ask for help, is this some kind of trick?
SPIKE
Would that make you feel better for getting rid of me?
ANGEL
No, Spike. The only thing that’ll make me feel better is knowing you’re gone. Gone from this office, gone from this city.
(speaking with finality)
You’ve got two hours.
ANGEL TURNS AND LEAVES THE LAB, LEAVING EVERYONE IN A STUPOR, EXCEPT SPIKE WHO IS LAUGHING TO HIMSELF.
SPIKE
Pleasant git, isn’t he?
FRED
(worried)
What’s gotten into him?
GUNN
For real, cuz he was pretty chummy with Spike yesterday.
SPIKE
(sarcastically)
Well, I did steal his shoes.
WES
This whole situation must be very overwhelming for him. Spike has apparently Shanshued. We always believed that was Angel’s reward. Now with Spike here, it must be casting a lot of doubt on what he believed.
GUNN
Hard or not, he shouldn’t be able to kick Spike out like this. Even if he is the boss.
(to Spike)
Don’t worry, we got your back.
CLOSE UP OF SPIKE’S FACE. HE IS SMILING, BUT IN A FALSE WAY.
SPIKE
Wonderful.
CUT TO.
INT – WOLFRAM & HART: ANGEL’S OFFICE – NIGHT
ANGEL SITS ALONE AT HIS DESK, OBVIOUSLY IN DEEP BROODING MODE. IN A FLASH HE STANDS UP, THROWING THE ITEMS ON HIS DESK ONTO THE FLOOR IN A RAGE. STILL NOT SATISFIED, ANGEL PUSHES HIS DESK RIGHT THROUGH HIS WINDOW, SENDING IT CAREENING TO THE GROUND BELOW.
WILLOW
(O.S)
You know, when I want a change of scenery, I just hire a redecorator.
ANGEL TURNS TO FIND WILLOW STANDING IN THE DOORWAY, HOLDING ONTO A BOOK.
WILLOW
(off Angel’s look)
Of course, if rage is what works for you…
ANGEL
(impatient)
What did you find?
WILLOW SIGHS THEN REGARDS ANGEL SERIOUSLY.
WILLOW
(calm)
I’m sorry if we’re making you feel all isolate-y with our whole Spike fascination. It’s just it takes getting used to, you know?
(off another Angel scowl)
Yeah, I guess you kinda do. Just, we don’t mean to make you all ‘grrr’.
ANGEL
(obviously trying to change the subject)
Willow, what did you find out?
WILLOW
(getting it)
Ok. Well, there’s some bad news, and then there’s worse news.
End Act One
~
Act Two
INT - WOLFRAM & HART: ANGEL’S OFFICE – NIGHT
ANGEL STARES BLANKLY AT WILLOW, WAITING TO HEAR HER NEWS.
WILLOW
The mystical hotspot surrounding California is definitely growing. Demon activity is only going to get bigger and fiercer until this whole area becomes like this huge frenzy of demon-y violence. That’s the bad news.
ANGEL
And the worse news?
WILLOW
(uneasy)
There’s a spell that I can use to stop the hotspot altogether.
(getting excited)
Like a big fire extinguisher putting out a four alarm blaze, or or or –
ANGEL
Willow.
(beat)
That’s not bad news.
WILLOW
Oh.
(beat)
Sorry. I guess I’ll get to that.
ANGEL
Might be a good thing to do.
WILLOW
(pacing, her speech speeding up as she goes)
The problem isn’t the spell, it’s the spell’s secondary effect. In order to diffuse all the evil, demonic energy, the spell will need to diffuse non-evil energy as a balance. Like a karmic price for doing such good, we have to lose something in return.
ANGEL
Willow, slow down and explain that again, but this time just a little bit simpler.
WILLOW
Sorry. Basically in order for me to work this, we’ll have to make a sacrifice to equal the good we’ll be doing. This spell will banish all mystical beings in the area along with the demonic energy. You, the slayers, most demons, Connor; any living thing that was brought into the world with mystical energies. All gone.
ANGEL
Evacuation. We could –
WILLOW
No, Angel. I thought of that, too. But a certain amount of sacrifice needs to be made or the spell won’t work. Plus, by the time the evacuation could be executed the hotspot will have grown to be too big to be stopped.
ANGEL
We need a different plan.
WILLOW
(shooting him a ‘well duh’ look)
If you can think of something, I’d love to hear it.
ANGEL AND WILLOW BOTH STAND IN THOUGHTFUL SILENCE, EACH TRYING TO COME UP WITH A BETTER PLAN. ANGEL QUICKLY COMES UP WITH SOMETHING, A PLAN FORMING, PLAYING OUT IN HIS FACIAL FEATURES, WHICH SOON TURN INTO A RELIEVED EXPRESSION.
ANGEL
Willow, this hot spot is only growing because the Hellmouth was destroyed and the energy had no focus, right?
WILLOW
(nodding)
That’s pretty much it, yeah.
ANGEL
So we give it focus. Create a new spot for the energy to concentrate. Make Los Angeles that centre so I can keep watch on it personally.
WILLOW
That’s a great plan and all, but I’m not even sure if that’s possible.
ANGEL
Willow, make it possible.
CUT TO.
INT – WOLFRAM & HART: CAFETERIA – Night
FRED, WES, GUNN AND SPIKE ARE ALL SITTING AT A TABLE TOGETHER. THEY ALL HAVE FOOD, BUT SPIKE SEEMS UNINTERESTED IN EATING. HE STARES OFF INTO SPACE AS THE OTHER THREE DISCUSS ANGEL AND SPIKE AND EVERYTHING THAT’S BEEN HAPPENING.
WES
I suppose it raises the question of if Angel will Shanshu at all now, doesn’t it?
FRED
I’m not too clear on it, or even if it matters at all, though I guess it explains a lot about Angel’s recent behaviour. For a while I thought he was almost happy to see Spike, but now…
GUNN
Yeah, it’s like something’s getting to him and he’s just unleashing it all on our boy here.
FRED
Well maybe Angel’s always been this way with Spike.
(to Spike)
Spike? You’ve known him longer than any of us; is this normal for Angel?
SPIKE
(snapping out of his daze)
What? I don’t know. We’ve always had what you might call a complicated relationship.
WES
I have read some accounts of spats between them over the years. Especially where Drusila is concerned.
FRED
(confused)
Drusila? Who’s that?
SPIKE BEGINS TO DRIFT AWAY AGAIN, NOT WANTING TO BE A PART OF THIS WALK DOWN A VERY SHADY MEMORY LANE.
GUNN
Angel made her a vampire, and she made Spike. Wolfram & Hart called her in a few years back to make Darla a vamp again.
WES
Spike and Drusila were also quite involved for over a century.
FRED
Wow, with one person for that long, that’s romantic.
(to Spike)
What was that like?
SPIKE
(obviously irritated)
Bloody great.
WILLOW ENTERS THE CAFETERIA, OBVIOUSLY SEARCHING FOR SOMEONE. WHEN SHE SPOTS THE GROUP SHE HEADS DIRECTLY TOWARDS THEM, SHE SEEMS LIKE SHE HAS A LOT ON HER MIND.
FRED
Hi, Willow! Care to join us?
WILLOW
(a bit rushed)
No, sorry, I’m in the middle of stuff. But thanks.
(to Wes)
I need your help with something.
WES
Sure, what is it?
WILLOW
A translation of a spell Angel wants.
WES
(standing up)
We can start right now. What is it for?
WILLOW
I’ll explain later.
WES
(preparing to leave)
Ok, let’s get going, then.
(to Fred, Gunn and Spike)
We’ll talk later.
FRED
Ok, bye.
GUNN
Later.
WES AND WILLOW QUICKLY LEAVE THE CAFETERIA, JUST AS LILAH ENTERS. SHE EYES WES AS HE LEAVES THEN TURNS HER ATTENTION TO SPIKE. SHE HEADS INTO THE LINE TO GET SOME FOOD, BUT KEEPS A CLOSE WATCH ON SPIKE.
FRED
Wonder what that’s all about?
GUNN
Don’t worry about it, we’ll be in on it eventually.
FRED
Yeah.
(beat, to Spike)
So what’s it like?
SPIKE
What?
FRED
Being human?
SPIKE
Shouldn’t you know?
FRED
(laughing because she thinks Spike was joking)
No, I mean after being a vampire so long. Being human again must be overwhelming. It’s overwhelming, isn’t it?
SPIKE
Like a lot of things.
GUNN
Now Fred, leave our boy alone, he must be getting tired.
FRED
Well , I just have so many questions!
(to Spike)
Like do you remember anything about being trapped in the Hellmouth? Do you like being human again? What are you going to do next? What is this Buffy like? Angel never talks about her, but I’ve heard some things from Cordy and Wes. Are you going to try and find her?
SPIKE
(standing up)
Much as I’d love to stay and play Twenty Questions, luv, I need a smoke.
GUNN
Just got you’re breath back and you already want to clog up your lungs?
SPIKE
Who needs clean air in LA, anyway?
WITH THAT SPIKE WALKS OUT, LEAVING A CONFUSED FRED AND GUNN.
FRED
Was it something we said?
LILAH
(O.S)
I think you scared him off, sweetie.
LILAH WALKS OVER TO THEM, MUNCHING ON AN APPLE.
FRED
Lilah, always a pleasure. Oh wait, it isn’t. And why do you need to eat? You’re dead.
LILAH
I have a womanly figure to keep up, you know about that. Oh wait, no you don’t.
SMILING, LILAH WALKS OFF.
FRED
I really hate that bitch.
CUT TO.
INT - WOLFRAM & HART: ANGEL’S OFFICE – NIGHT
ANGEL SITS AT HIS DESK, LOOKING AROUND AT THE MESS HE MADE EARLIER. WILLOW AND WES ENTER HIS OFFICE, CARRYING A PIECE OF PAPER WITH THE TRANSLATED SPELL ON IT.
ANGEL
Can you do it?
WILLOW
(smiling)
Give me an hour, maybe two.
ANGEL
Perfect. In a few hours the hotspot will be gone and so will Spike.
WES AND WILLOW EXCHANGE A LOOK.
WES
Angel, perhaps you should talk to him.
ANGEL
Talk to Spike? You really don’t know him well.
WILLOW
I do. And I know that that however hard this may be for you, it’s gotta be like a zillion times harder for him. And he’s alone.
ANGEL
Willow, just get the spell done. Let me know how it goes.
WILLOW SEEMS ABOUT TO SAY SOMETHING, BUT STOPS HERSELF. NODDING TO WES, THEY BOTH LEAVE ANGEL ALONE IN HIS OFFICE.
ANGEL
(to himself)
He’s not alone, he’s got all his fans around here.
CUT TO.
EXT – GAS STATION – MORNING
SPIKE APPROACHES THE GAS STATION, NEEDING TO GET AWAY FROM THE OFFICE AS MUCH AS HE NEEDED SOME SMOKES. ALSO WALKING TO THE GAS STATION ARE CONNOR AND CODY, WHO ARE OUT PICKING UP SOMETHING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST. CONNOR SPOTS SPIKE AND JOBS UP TO HIM.
CONNOR
Hey!
SPIKE
Hello there. Long night or early morning?
CONNOR
(laughing)
Early morning. Breakfast time, I’m buying.
SPIKE
(eyeing Cody as he advances them)
Aren’t you a hero, helping out a friend.
CONNOR
I guess. Hey, thanks for the drink the other night.
SPIKE
Was nothing.
CONNOR
So how are you adjusting to the city?
SPIKE
I’m not really.
CONNOR
That’s too bad. What’s the problem?
SPIKE
People, mostly. Starting to wish I could just make them all forget I exist.
CUT TO.
EXT – WOLFRAM & HART: ROOF – DAY
WILLOW SITS IN THE MIDDLE OF A DESIGN MADE OF CHALK, WES CIRCLING HER WAVING BURNING INCENSE. WILLOW HAS THE TRANSLATION AND SHE’S MEDITATING IN PREPARATION FOR THE SPELL
WILLOW
Ok, I’m ready to start.
WES NODS AT HER, PREPARING FOR THE INTENSE MAGIC HE KNOWS HE’S ABOUT TO WITNESS.
WILLOW
(reciting the spell)
By the name of the power,
By the might of the word,
Source of evils great and small,
I beseech you.
AS WILLOW BEGINS HER SPELL, WES STARTS TO CHANT IN TANDEM FROM THE BOOK THE TRANSLATION CAME FROM. HE SPEAKS IS A DEMON LANGUAGE, HIS WORDS INDISTINGUISHABLE FROM EACH OTHER.
May your disorder be undone,
May your chaos be chained,
Great tide of sin,
I call.
AS THE SPELL CONTINUES, A HARSH WING WHIPS AROUND THE ROOF. THE SKY ABOVE THEM BEGINS TO GLOW A PALE GREEN AS THE DEMONIC ENERGY BEGINS TO FLOW AND SWELL AROUND THE OFFICE.
With this cry for serenity,
With my plea for calm,
Be bound to this place,
Fixed forevermore.
THE SPELL COMPLETE, WILLOW STRETCHES HER ARMS IN FRONT OF HER, A GLOWING GREEN ORB PULSATING BETWEEN HER HANDS. AS WES ENDS HIS CHANT, THE ORB SHOOTS DOWN TOWARDS THE GROUND, PASSING THROUGH THE ROOF LIKE A GHOST. THE SKY GROANED WITH ENERGY AS THE SWIRLING POWER FLOWED AFTER THE ORB, CHASING IT INTO THE EARTH BENEATH THE FIRM. THEN AS QUICKLY AS THE SPELL BEGAN, IT WAS OVER. WILLOW SAT, PANTING FROM THE EXERTION.
WES
Is it done?
WILLOW
Angel’s got his very own Hellmouth about six floors down. No giant demon-portal thing, though.
LILAH
(os, clapping)
Well done.
WES AND WILLOW TURN TO SEE LILAH STANDING AT THE ROOF ACCESS DOOR.
WES
How did you –
LILAH
Know? Let’s just say word travels fast. Neat spell, very shimmery.
WILLOW
What do you want?
LILAH
I just thought I’d congratulate you on a job well done. You saved the day, plus you made Wolfram & Hart the true center for evil in the city. So if we weren’t the place to be before, we sure as Hell are now.
WES
It needed to be done.
LILAH
And you sure did. And I think Willow here is the one who needs to be rewarded.
WILLOW
(confused)
Rewarded?
LILAH
It’s your lucky day, we’re offering you a job.
WILLOW
(shocked)
A job?
LILAH
You got power, twinkie, power the firm would love to have on staff.
WILLOW
(mistrustful)
Is that a fact?
LILAH
Of course you can think it over. The offer will stand.
WILLOW
I don’t need to think about it. I have my answer right now.
LILAH
Wonderful. Should I get a contract written up?
WILLOW
Only if you need something to wipe with, because you can take your job offer and shove it.
(beat, Willow flashes a classic Willow-smile)
Thank you.
LILAH
(scornful)
I’ll be sure to have that contract made, for when you change your mind.
WILLOW
Don’t bet on it.
LILAH
We’ll see. I mean, I managed to snag Angel and his noble crew. How long do you think it’ll take to get you?
WITH THAT LILAH TURNS AND WALKS DOWN THE ROOF ACCESS STAIRS, LEAVING WES TO CONSIDER HIS PLACE IN THE FIRM AND WILLOW TO WONDER IF SHE CAN REALLY HOLD OUT ON LILAH’S OFFER
EXT – GAS STATION – DAY
SPIKE IS STOOD, OR MORE LEANT AGAINST THE WALL OF THE MAIN STATION AS CONNOR AND CODY STAND INFRONT OF HIM EATING A LARGE BAG OF TWINKIES
CODY EYES SPIKE UP AND DOWN CURIOUSLY
SPIKE
Healthy breakfast
(pause)
This your boyfriend?
CONNOR/CODY
No!!
SPIKE
You just eye blokes up a lot then?
CODY
Just wondering if the smell’s coming from you
SPIKE
Oi!
(sniffs himself)
Oh, right – that smell. I’ve not really had the chance to clean up since I got back from Hell…
(off their looks)
Hell…sinki, since I got back from Helsinki!
CONNOR
I’ve already known you for five days
SPIKE
Right but I was being all experimented on and stuff
(again off their looks)
What do you want my bloody biography or summit?
CONNOR
Sorry. So is Orio your brother?
SPIKE
Ori-who?
CONNOR
Mr. Angel?
SPIKE
Oh right
(laughing)
He wishes! He’s my…
(thinks)
He’s my uncle
CONNOR
Your Uncle?
SPIKE
Yeah, he wears a lot of make-up but don’t mention anything
(whispered)
He’s a little insecure with himself if you know what I mean.
CODY
So, what’s with the flashback?
SPIKE LOOKS AT HIM HEAD TILTED, ARCHED BROW – CONFUSED.
CODY
Billy Idol!
SPIKE
Say, kid you ever been hit real hard?
CODY
Like you wouldn’t believe
CODY STEPS UP TO SPIKES FACE AS THE TWO PRACTICALLY TOUCH NOSES.
CONNOR
Guys – cool it, let’s just go home or something – chill right?
CODY
I’m fine here
SPIKE
Perfect
CODY
Ain’t it just
SPIKE CONTINUES TO STARE HARD AT HIM BEFORE TURNING ON HIS HEELS AND WALKING AWAY.
SPIKE
Right, well. I’m off!
CONNOR CHASES HIM ACROSS THE MAIN GROUNDS OF THE STATION.
CONNOR
Hey wait up!
SPIKE
(fed up)
What?
CONNOR
A favour – for a favour.
CUT TO.
EXT – HYPERION – SUNSET
CONNOR COMES CRASHING TO THE FLOOR AS CODY FALLS DOWN BESIDE HIM LAUGHING.
CONNOR
I think I broke something
CODY
Was it the bottle?
CONNOR
No
(checks)
Just a bone
CODY
Then all is good.
AS THE TWO UNDERAGERS (EIGHTEEN AND SEVENTEEN) FALL ABOUT ON THE FLOOR IN A DRUNKEN STATE, SPIKE SLOWLY AND VERY UNENTHUSIASTICALLY PLODS UPTO THEM HOLDING A VERY LARGE BROWN BAG FULL OF BOTTLES.
SPIKE
Less than a week and I’m already back socialising with idiots a tenth of my age
(sigh)
I’d better get in a fight tonight.
INT – HYPERION – SUNSET
SPIKES STEPS DOWN THE STAIRS AND LOOKS AROUND THE MAIN RECEPTION OF THE HYPERION AS THE OTHER TWO PRAT ABOUT IN THE BACKGROUND.
SPIKE
Quite a place for someone your age…human at least
(beat)
very, ripe in fragrance.
CODY
Seventeen – cleaning not my gig
SPIKE OBSERVES THE CLOTHES HUNG OVER THE BANISTER AS HE STEPS FORWARD ONTO SOMETHING BLUE AND FURRY ATTACHED TO A PAPER PLATE.
SPIKE
So I see
HE CONTINUES TO WONDER THROUGH THE MAIN ROOM AS A CLANGING COMES FROM THE FAR SIDE.
CODY
What’ve you broken?
SPIKE
Wasn’t me
(casual)
You got yourself rats
CONNOR
Rats?
SPIKE
Well, big man shaped rats with sharp teeth
CONNOR
Radioactive?
(beat)
cool.
SPIKE LOOKS AT CONNOR LIKE HE WAS DROPPED ON HIS HEAD ON TOO MANY TIMES AS A CHILD.
SPIKE
(sarcastic)
Yeah, radioactive rats is what it is
(pause)
Bloody vampires you idiot
CODY
Vampires?
SPIKE
(rolling eyes)
Oh right, they’re real – and lots of stuff, werewolves and ghosts and…
CONNOR
We know – kinda
SPIKE
Kinda?
CONNOR
Weird bumpy dudes went some at college
SPIKE
Nice. Kill ‘em?
CONNOR
Totally
SPIKE
Up for a round?
CONNOR
Could be
CODY
I’ll get my bat
FROM THE SHADOWS STEPS FIVE VERY SIZEY VAMPIRES.
SPIKE
No time.
VAMPIRE#1
Well, if it isn’t William the Bloody…idiot
CODY
(laughing)
William?
SPIKE
(Ignoring)
Who’s there?
VAMPIRE#1
Wow, not many fathers wipe their childe from memory – well, there was this one guy…
(beat)
I hear your like soul boy now? All Slayer whipped and do-gooding.
SPIKE
Right, I forget there was a memo
(Frustrated)
So you gonna walk out and show your face or shall I come over and tear it off?
THE VAMPIRE STEPS OUT OF THE DARK TO REVEAL…
SPIKE
Jeremy?!
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