| Subject: Writer's Block 51 |
Author:
Nikita507
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Date Posted: Tuesday, September 29, 10:36:32pm
In reply to:
Nikita507
's message, "Writer's Block 44+" on Friday, September 25, 04:46:07pm
Closing the door to the office as she entered, Nikita looked at the phone and rubbed her neck. This was the first Thursday that the girls’ camp was in session and there was a huge camp fire later tonight and then the girls would be leaving tomorrow. Nikita was looking forward to a couple days without the girls being around. She knew that her thoughts were being driven more about the phone call that she hadn’t wanted to make.
Picking up the phone, Nikita dialed the number and swallowed as she waited, and she didn’t have to wait long.
“Hello?” Birkoff answered and Nikita felt a bit better about being on the phone with him. She was relieved that it was not Mick answering Birkoff’s cell phone, which he had done from time to time. “Hi, Birkoff.”
“Nikita, it is so good to hear your voice. It has been too long,” Birkoff declared and Nikita rubbed at the blotter that was on the desk. She rubbed it and sighed. “Having fun on your vacation in Europe?”
“Ah… vacation… is over,” Birkoff mentioned and Nikita sat up straight, anger setting into her body. “Where are you now?”
“Home,” Birkoff tentatively responded.
“And Mick?”
“On his way to that camp,” Birkoff admitted and Nikita groaned. “I didn’t want this to ruin your vacation.”
“We spent the whole cruise without anything pertaining to you. That was more than I had expected,” Birkoff declared with happiness in his voice. “I was kind of over Europe. It’s not my type of place.”
Nikita felt so guilty about Mick’s behavior. They must have hopped on a plane right back to the states when Nikita had hung up on Mick. “I’m sorry, Birkoff.”
“I’m more concerned about how this is going to go today when he arrives,” Birkoff commented and Nikita looked out the window. “I need time… he isn’t getting it… I won’t have a choice if he pushes it, Birkoff…”
“I know that Mick is a huge personality and I know that he pushes what he believes… but he honestly does it as he thinks he is helping you,” Birkoff tried to explain Mick to Nikita. She highly doubted his words right now. “At some point he has to start listening to me.”
“He does listen to you… what you get back is indications of selective hearing… but Nikita… he has been running massive interference the past couple days… He never gave me the full story…” Birkoff spoke as he diverted the conversation. He had important information to give Nikita and this was what he felt that she needed to know – only he didn’t know details.
“Jurgen was at the camp I’m at…”
“Was?” Birkoff questioned as he knew Jurgen and never liked Jurgen. He had huge fights with Mick over his pressuring Nikita to date Jurgen beyond that first date. It was clear that Nikita disliked the man and felt pressured into it, but when Mick into the mix and Nikita was a goner.
“I stood up to him when he started to say really nasty things,” Nikita rubbed the back of her neck, feeling stress running over her. She didn’t want to feel that. She just wanted to enjoy her days. She didn’t want any responsibility and she didn’t want to worry about things. She just wanted the summer off.
“That probably explains in… I guess that Mick was telling the papers to really listen to the source of the reports… and how it sounded nothing like Nikita Wirth,” Birkoff chuckled gently. “He probably wouldn’t want me telling you that he squashed those stories quickly…threatened lawsuits.”
Just when Nikita was angry enough to do something drastic to Mick, she found something out like this. She groaned and then shook her head. “Sorry, Birkoff… I haven’t really been myself.”
“Since the book?”
“Since the mystery… a real book,” Nikita responded as she felt the tears developing in her eyes. “I wrote that for over a year… while writing other crap… and I developed the characters and I gave them life… and I know that it is good.”
“I read it,” Birkoff admitted gently. “I wanted to know why Mick was up all hours fighting with publishing houses… so I got a copy of it… read it in one night… where did you find an editor if none of the publishing houses were touching it?”
“There was no editor,” Nikita responded as she then stopped her thoughts. “Mick was up all night?”
“He still has been pushing for the book, Nikita… He may be telling you to forget about it and to go onto the next Stormy Heights book… but he has had that sample with him all the time… it even went on the cruise with us,” Birkoff revealed and Nikita felt her stomach churn. Mick was becoming an enigma again and Nikita didn’t like that. “He should tell me that.”
Birkoff paused before clearing his throat, giving Birkoff sometime to compose his next words. “We are a lot alike Nikita… We aren’t like Mick. I’m in computers because I can hide behind them… you may be in the public eye… but in reality… you hide behind the words that you write… we aren’t like Mick at all.”
“Meaning?”
With a heavy sigh, Birkoff hoped that Nikita didn’t take this the wrong way. “We are sometimes so content to hide that we allow parts of our lives to be controlled… just because we are able to hide…”
“I never wanted people to think that Stormy Heights is just a part of my real life,” Nikita snapped with anger as she stood up. She rolled her shoulders back and felt things closing in. “He used me.”
“He offered a suggestion way back when… and it was probably minor… and you agreed because it allowed you to keep your life a secret… I did the same thing… I just think at a point I called him out and stopped it…” Birkoff trailed off and Nikita felt the tears rolling down her face. “It doesn’t make him right.”
“But it means that you should talk to him,” Birkoff stressed as he could hear the tears in Nikita’s voice. He knew that Nikita didn’t cry easily. That wasn’t her nature and he didn’t want to cause her pain. “Are you making friends there, Nikita?”
“A couple,” Nikita wiped at her face.
“Be yourself with them,” Birkoff suggested and Nikita leaned her head back to stare at the ceiling. “I’m doing that, Birkoff… but I feel like I’ve been this other person for a long time that I’m not sure who I am…”
“Then you did the right thing this summer,” Birkoff declared as he was comfortable with this. “Be honest with Mick. Tell him that you are about to fire him if he stays there… he cares too much about you to go against that… and he’ll come back here and fight some more for that book of yours.”
Nikita found that she was holding the phone really tight. She hated this and she just wanted to take a long run far away. “I’m going to tell him to go away… because he shouldn’t have come.”
“I miss you around here, Nikita… let me know if I can come up and visit you… a whole summer is too long,” Birkoff finished the conversation and hung up before Nikita could reply. She stared at the phone and placed the phone down. She stared at the phone a long time, trying to will the tears to dry up and willing herself to relax. Nikita didn’t want anyone to know that anything was wrong.
There was a knock on the office door before Michael opened the door. He looked in and saw Nikita. She looked at him and wrenched her face away, knowing that she wasn’t going to be able to fool Michael. “Nikita?”
“There is going to be a visitor here shortly… sometime this afternoon… he’ll show up in a custom Lamborghini Murcielago… it was painted purple and platinum… that’s Mick… he is my agent. I don’t want him to leave the parking lot. He isn’t staying,” Nikita spoke firmly as she stood up, pushing her hands against her face, finding the strength to do what was right for her.
“Ok,” Michael tentatively spoke and Nikita nodded her head. “If he doesn’t listen to you… and if he doesn’t listen to me when I talk to him… I’m going to fire him.”
“Nikita, are you sure that you are ok?” Michael questioned as he placed a hand on her shoulder. For one brief second it was as if Nikita was going to fall apart into pieces but instead Nikita held still. Michael wished that she would have just broke and cried in his arms. He didn’t particular care when Nikita was forcing herself to be strong when she didn’t need to be strong by herself.
“There really isn’t anymore to discuss. This is just a personnel dispute…” Nikita rolled her shoulder to the side so that it moved away from Michael’s touch.
“Then maybe after dinner… we can go talk a walk before the camp fire… plan the weekend,” Michael offered as he had a feeling that he better not go far.
“Maybe…” Nikita briskly responded without looking at Michael’s eyes and left the room.
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