| Subject: Traumatic Amnesia 129 |
Author:
Nikita507
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Date Posted: Friday, June 05, 08:06:24pm
In reply to:
Nikita507
's message, "Traumatic Amnesia 126+" on Sunday, May 31, 07:44:58pm
Madeline looked at the door of the house and rocked back on her heels, about to walk the other way. She turned her head to see Karl standing in the sidewalk that led up to the house. When she had told Karl that she needed to see Nikita and talk with her, he took her right away, not giving her a chance to change her mind. Now that she was at the house, Madeline wasn’t sure that this was the right thing to do.
“She is moving today, Madeline,” Karl spoke up with a steady voice. Madeline had asked about Nikita from himself, Mick and Adrian, but no one would give her many details that were concrete. Instead, they told her that she was healing and doing fine. Madeline knew that there was so much more that she wanted to know about, but that they wouldn’t tell her. She knew that it was just a method being used to get her to face what needed to be done. Now Karl was giving Madeline information that would keep her.
“By herself?” Madeline tilted her head slightly as she knew the answer.
“Do you honestly need me to answer that?”
“No,” Madeline swung her head from side to side. “She is moving with Michael.”
“They got a place together. About fifteen minutes away,” Karl gave Madeline the information but not giving her enough. Madeline rubbed her hands together and stepped towards the door, pressing the doorbell this time.
In her mind, Madeline never expected to have Nikita answer the door. But when the door opened, she was face to face with the person that she wanted to talk to the most and suddenly she had no words to say. Nikita was not using crutches and Madeline was slightly confused and Nikita stepped back slowly. “Why don’t you come in? I’m not to be on my leg too long.”
Madeline nodded her head and Karl was right behind her. He nodded towards Nikita and Madeline turned to look at him. He had already spoken to Nikita. “It was only fair, Madeline. I had to know for myself that what Mick and Adrian were saying was true.”
Nikita had gone right into the living room and then Madeline noticed that the house was very quiet. “Where is everyone?”
“Moving things out of my place. I couldn’t go there,” Nikita revealed and Madeline winced. She shook her head as she sat down and looked at Nikita carefully. Madeline was so close tears that she didn’t know what to say or do. She turned to lean on Karl but he wasn’t there. She looked out towards the hallway and knew that he was out there somewhere, but also realized that he was allowing them the space to talk.
“Madeline, I’m just as confused as you are about what really happened when you came into my life… I don’t remember all of those things and Adrian said I won’t remember everything… but I know that you were there for me,” Nikita spoke with a tender voice as she looked right at Madeline. This was the Nikita that she had always wanted to see. Strong and confident. There was no wavering in who she was and how she was to be. Through everything that had happened to Nikita, she was thriving now.
And it wasn’t because of Madeline.
“I’m so sorry, Nikita…” Madeline rasped as she didn’t try to hold back her tears. “I thought I was there to help you… I still have pieces that I’m trying to put together… I guess once I was talked into it once… Paul was just able to use it get me to go and go on it… I just wanted to make your life better.”
Nikita rolled her shoulders back and took a shuttering breath. “In ways my life is better.”
Madeline closed her eyes. She wanted Nikita to give her no credit.
“But I think my life is better because of Michael… and knowing what my life was,” Nikita finished her statement and Madeline opened her eyes. Although she wanted Nikita to listen to her, what Nikita had said was exactly what Madeline thought that Nikita needed to say, or at least something along those lines. “I still don’t know things, Nikita.”
“It’s scary,” Nikita nodded her head up and down as she knew the feeling very well. “I have lots of questions about things… there are lapses in my memories… especially of when I was in the hospital.”
Madeline choked in the emotions. She remembered it so vividly. “You… were… so young… so battered… so in need…”
Nikita leaned forward. “What had happened to me? Why was I there that time?”
Shaking her head, Madeline shrugged her shoulders. “I never knew how the man who found you brought you in. It wasn’t a police officer… Paul stopped that paperwork from ever happening.”
“I know that,” Nikita admitted as she leaned away from Madeline and pulled her leg up onto the couch. “Birkoff searched all the databases.”
“Paul thought that you didn’t need to have that embarrassment… He felt that he owed it to you…” Madeline stopped and looked at Nikita. Nikita’s blue eyes focused on her and finally Nikita parted her lips. “He isn’t my biological father. Tests proved that.”
Madeline exhaled and leaned her head back. “You were so tiny… not short wise… but so very skinny… bruises everywhere…” Madeline looked at Nikita and wanted to hold her. Now even more vivid images were coming to Madeline’s mind of all of the wires and tubes that were in Nikita when she saw her the first time. Dropping her head forward, Madeline shivered.
She remembered yelling at some man who was going to do the rape kit for Nikita. “You had been violated.”
“Unfortunately, that wouldn’t be the first time,” Nikita coldly commented as she sat still listening to Madeline’s report on that. Diverting her eyes, Nikita swallowed. “It happened a lot. I remember it all.”
“That’s what I didn’t want for you,” Madeline rasped as she covered her mouth. “Why should you suffer with those memories?”
“Because it still impacted me even if I didn’t know why,” Nikita replied as she was sure that things in her life made so much more sense now that she knew what her childhood was like. “And I guess I wasn’t the ideal case.”
Shaking her head, Madeline struggled. She was in a black hole and she didn’t know what she was missing, but it was missing. “I’m sorry, Nikita… I don’t remember…”
Nikita accepted the words as she could tell that Madeline was struggling and trying to force the memories. Adrian and Karl had explained that Madeline had been brainwashed in another method that wasn’t like Nikita’s. Madeline’s was all driven by emotions and physical things and not chemicals which were actually easier to attempt to counter-act. “Is there anything that happened in the hospital? My medical file from then is missing.”
Madeline gasped and sat back deeply in the chair. “You still have been seeing Dr. Rohal.”
“Yes,” Nikita nodded her head up and down. Dr. Rohal was the gynecologist that Madeline had her going to from when Nikita started to live with Madeline. Madeline rubbed her hands together and rubbed her throbbing forehead. “ You were really abused, Nikita… someone had really injured you…”
“What does that have to do…” Nikita started to question and then she shivered. Madeline had introduced her to Dr. Rohal. “What did you have the doctor not tell me?”
“Some of the injuries were internal… she was the doctor that examined you…” Madeline’s body shook with the memories. “She understood what Paul was trying to do for you… and agreed that she wouldn’t tell you…”
“Tell me what?” Nikita asked as she sat up. “I’m normal, right? I have a period… I’m not on any medication…”
“You are… but you aren’t,” Madeline sadly admitted. “She has always been sure that since your injures were from various things… it could have been the men… you know… or a knife… or some other blunt object…”
Nikita closed her eyes and pressed her lips together. She took a deep breath as she clearly heard Madeline’s sobs. “I won’t ever have my own child.”
With a groan, Madeline nodded her head up and down. “Dr. Rohal almost had to do surgery…… she got you back together again… but some things can’t be put together again.”
Nikita swallowed hard and took a deep breath. “Thank you.”
Madeline looked at Nikita in disbelief. “What?”
“Thank you,” Nikita looked directly at Madeline. “You told me the truth. Thank you.”
There was noise outside and Nikita looked towards the window. The men were back from moving things from her place and Nikita had to look at some items before they were taken to the condo. “I hope to see you again, Madeline.”
Nikita stood up and went to the door and outside. Madeline saw Michael pick Nikita up in his arms and swing her around on the porch. He loved her so much and she was the woman that Madeline had always imagined her growing up to be. Even with the memories.
“I made some tea,” Karl handed a cup over to Madeline as he sat down right next to her. “Drink up before we go.”
“We should just go,” Madeline held onto the cup and did not move. Karl looked at her and leaned back on the couch. “She is amazing.”
“She is,” Madeline nodded her head and Karl touched the cup. “She left the tea out for me to make. I think she’d like you to have some before going.”
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