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Date Posted: 10/26/03 4:59pm
Author: Bix
Subject: Of course...
In reply to: Anita 's message, "well" on 10/26/03 3:27pm

I don't argue at all with the fact that a father is important, and in today's society it's one of the failings of the nuclear family when the father is absent.

However, in situations where parents have to be apart due to work or what have you, I've seen how much a spouse's return can interfere with the smaller family unit's daily routine. The wife alone functions as an individual, and with kids in tow she takes on both roles. In fact, during retirement ceremonies, a certificate is presented that credits her for taking on both roles of mother and father in her husband's absence. (It's kind of funny, 'cause the military really hasn't changed it to apply to men whose wives retire! Time to update their stuff, huh?)

This is where many families who spend time apart fail, actually--the spouse who has been away (male or female) has a tendency to walk back into their families' lives like he was just down at the local bar. After long absences, if they don't re-introduce themselves into their own families' routines, the person's presence can be more of an intrusion and an interruption instead of an enrichment.

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