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Date Posted: 17:07:16 01/08/08 Tue
Author: Anubis
Subject: Hmmm...
In reply to: Zephyr 's message, "This is an email from a young friend of mine" on 03:27:21 01/07/08 Mon

Well, I really didn't really have a bad time coming out to my parents so I am not so sure how much help I will be but WTH...

I really don't think the best way of coming out is shocking your parents with 12" dildos and porn. Just the concept of you being gay will be shocking enough. For a period of time afterwards I really wouldn't make much reference to it. You are trying to get them to see that you really haven't changed... so any big changes would just counter that and probably bring on a not so happy experience.

If you have a bf right now I wouldn't introduce him right away. My experience is that even if they take your coming out ok, that doesn't mean they will be very supportive of the lifestyle in the beginning. Definately take it slow. Let them get used to the concept before you drop anything else on them.

I have been out for 7 years now to my family. Every one of them takes it differently. Talking to my mom now confirmed what I believed at the time when I first came out. She could handle the abstract concept of me being gay, but when she was first exposed to the concrete reality of me dating other guys and being affectionate with them it bothered her a little. So just remember to take it slowly if you decide to do it.

And remember, even if they act negativly at first, they might come around eventually... That being said, you live with them on a daily basis and know them better than I do. If you feel that you aren't safe afterwards then don't hang around just b/c some guy said that they COULD come around eventually. Stay safe and keep your head about you... no one but you will know when it is time to come out.

P.S. And you may not like being compared to your brother, but be happy you aren't an only child when you come out. I still have to listen to my mom bitch about how she isn't going to have any grandchildren. I would love to have a brother to put THAT particular burden on.

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Replies:

  • coming out advice -- Rick, 18:49:10 01/08/08 Tue
  • that's PFLAG, sorry (NT) -- Rick, 19:56:03 01/08/08 Tue
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