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To reply to this, I want to start off with a short experience that I had growing up. My best friend, Mike, and I have been buds since we were 14 years old. And I was CRAZY about him! Oh God, I had it so bad. Hehehe! Looking back on it, I must have looked so crazy to him at times. However, I didn't say anything. I was way too scared. And we would hang out all the time, and we were so close, and had so much in common...but as far as me being head over heels for him for years, it was just sort of understood (in my mind at least) that i was just going to have to suck it up and remain a tortured soul for the rest of my life. Sad, but true.
Then...came Mike's 21st birthday. Now we were only born a week and a half apart, and he actually waited for me to catch up so I could come visit him in college and we could celebrate together. And BOY did we celebrate! Ahem...the alcohol was pouring pretty freely that night! Hahaha! Here's the thing...anybody getting sick and throwing up...NOPE! Couldn't do it! I will run screaming from that sort of thing. Can't stand it. Blecchhh!
But that night? Mike got really sick. Multiple times. And while most of his college friends were cringing pretty much the same way that I usually did...I went into the bathroom to check on him. And something that normally would have had me turning tail and heading for the hills, it just didn't mean more to me than he did at that moment. And I stood right there with him. Even rubbing his back to keep him somewhat comfortable through it all. I had to practically 'carry' him home and put him to bed that night, but it just made me think about things differently.
I'm sure that it started out with me thinking he was super cute, and later it turned into a serious crush, and then we started hanging out together and laughing and sharing a lot of good times together...and things got worse. But, the honest truth is...I don't think I realized just how much I loved him until I was willing to push aside my own comfort and best interests just to make sure he was ok. I thought back to sleepovers and times when we went to the movies and times when we laughed until our bellies hurt...and things just kind of 'clicked' from there. I really was in love.
And to this day, Mike is still one of my very best friends. And I'd still do anything for him and vice versa. We're there for one another, we tell each other off when we think the other person needs to hear it, and there's no such thing as a 'favor' when it comes to asking for help. You want it, you've got it. Just give me some time to put it together.
I think that's the test when it comes to love. I think that's how you know. When you're more concerned with what you're willing to do for them, instead of worrying about what they're doing for you. Sex is GREAT! And beauty is exciting. Common interests and deep conversations are truly satisfying. But when you can actually trust someone to be there for you when you fall, when you know that you'll move heaven and earth to keep them safe, when you can lose a bunch of your secrets and gain a confidant...that's when you know that true love is possible. Not obsession, but love.
I've made some mistakes in my past, and thought that I was in love when I wasn't. But I can say that I've truly had some mind-blowing experiences that let me know what true love feels like. You know? It's not as common as we may make it out to be. But I've had a few people that I was willing to give my whole heart to, and I made sure to tell them as often as I possibly could, just to let them know. What can I say, I'll always be a big romantic at heart. Hehehe! But I make no apologies for it. I'm proud to have lived through those moments, and going to bed with a smile at night, just knowing that I could share my true self with those who left me so breathless.
That love never went away. Some of the objects of my affection have moved on, and I wish them well. But the love is still there. I hold on to it, and it makes me feel good to know I gave it my all when I had the chance. That, to me, is how you know when it's love. When you're willing to give yourself to them to the point of exhaustion...and have faith in knowing that you'll get it back. It makes you fearless in a way, you know?
When I love you...I'll let you know. Believe me. I mean, I mighthave to shake out those nervous jitters first, hehehe...but if I tell you I love you, it's real. It's not something I take lightly. not anymore.
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