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Date Posted: 14:45:13 02/11/21 Thu
Author: bwctwriter
Subject: It's a tough call for sure...
In reply to: Mike 's message, "What would you do if this was your baby daughter?" on 05:01:45 02/11/21 Thu

And to be honest, it's highly unlikely that even plastic surgery would make her face look "perfect" (which is to say, no birthmark and normal colored skin)... On the one hand, as someone with lots of surgical scars on my head due to hydrocephalus since I was a year or so old, I got a LOT of bullying growing up. Now, the bullying wasn't exclusive to those scars, but it certainly didn't help the matter. Honestly, if there was a way for my parents to make me look more "normal" back then, I wouldn't necessarily fault them for going that route, even though they would have taken that choice away from me.

Also, none of my scars are on my face... So while someone might see my scars as I was walking towards/away from them, when they look at my face, they don't have to stare at the scars every moment they talked to me.

I personally have come to embrace my scars, as they are a badge of honor for what I've been through in my life (16 surgeries and counting!)... But birthmarks are different. They just "are." Yes, one could argue that the child would be looked at differently, ridiculed, shunned, etc... And they'd have a totally valid point. And if the parents chose to wait and let the child decide, that's also fair.

But again, if my parents had taken that choice away from me when I was younger, I may be mad with them at first... But ultimately I would have accepted that they were just trying to do what's best for me overall...

Ultimately, I think that, whether the parents choose to do corrective surgery, or wait until the child is old enough to make the choice herself, they are doing so with the intent of making her happy, and thus, neither choice is "wrong."

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