HARLEM, WHAT !!! -- The Lounge Of Lyricism 2003

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Date Posted: 06:48:32 02/07/03 Fri
Author: OMA
Author Host/IP: 66-65-15-117.nyc.rr.com / 66.65.15.117
Subject:

HARLEM, WHAT !!!

Lace up your shoes,
And get ready for war,
My flow so cool,
You'll be begging for more,
It started in 83,
Now prepare for the worst,
The vomit spills,
Like it was inherited at birth,
My vision is drugs,
I can see the addictions,
Now my bold words make these predictions,
As long as I have eyes,
You'll be advised,
That in the end you'll be despised,
For telling lies,
Listen up close,
Its only said once,
When pen meets pad it defeats words,
Faster then shifting into reverse,
Cause it's a curse to spit diverse,
That keeps them wanting more,
Like there kids first words,
Cause I spitted sicker then any disease,
With persist persision,
Like straws penetrating trees,
Its a flowing illusion,
That defuses your mind,
Like a dream with never ending time,
Like standing up and drawing the line,
Diluting words to claim whats mine,
And all the confusion,
When everything was just fine.

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Replies:

Kinda simple yo, nothing the lounge hasn't read before, take a little more time on each bar, u coulda put more descriptive words in some spots elevate PEACE (NT) -- Pat D.A.W.G, 13:23:23 02/07/03 Fri
i agree with pat D.A.W.G on this one it was kinda simple but youll get better (NT) -- nemisis, 14:32:22 02/07/03 Fri
hmmm...i see bright spots in here....my advice?...keep ur bars at that length, but say more in them, learn to get the most out of one word, therefore when u flip it, someone might catch it a different way, but they'll still feel it... (NT) -- styliztik..aka..quote...says....elevator going up?, 15:16:17 02/07/03 Fri
This was WAY too simplistic.....Try concentrating deeper on your words...increase wordplay and vocabulary usage....Think of imagery, abstract even....Whatever you do, do what you're good at....Keep up and stay up.... (NT) -- h � k �/|_ A \/�...., 15:17:38 02/07/03 Fri

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