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>Thicker Than Water > >Disclaimer: Ranma ½ is not owned by me. Most, if not >all, of the elements used in this story have >undoubtedly appeared in other fanfics, but I've never >written a Ranma story before, so I'm starting with >simple ideas. I've also never written in pseudo-script >format before, so pardon its flaws. I'm just trying to >get the story idea fleshed out quickly so I can get >back to other things.  > >Scene: The Tendo Dojo. It is raining. Loud voices are >arguing. > >AKANE: You *what*? > >TENDO: To merge our houses! To ensure the continuation >of the family line! > >KASUMI: Oh, my. I wish you had told us. I would have >worn a nicer dress. > >AKANE: Make Kasumi marry him. She'll do anything. > >NABIKI: We are going to get a sizable dowry out of >this, right? > >TENDO: I just want to see one of my beautiful little >girls married! *starts to cry* > >AKANE: As long as it's not me. > >There is a knock at the door. Tendo opens it. On one >side stands Soun Tendo and his three daughters. Tendo >is sniffling pitifully. Kasumi smiles blankly. Nabiki >looks bored. Akane, twirling a finger in her long >hair, looks angry. On the other side of the door is a >young man holding a leash. A very thick, >sturdy-looking leash. With a panda on the end. Both >are soaking wet. > >RANMA: Excuse me, is this the Tendo house? > >KASUMI: *brightly* We don't need to buy a panda at >this time. Thank you! > >RANMA: What? Oh. No, he's not for sale. He's my… pet. >I'm Ranma Saotome. I believe you were expecting me? > >KASUMI: *chirps* What a nice, polite young man! > >RANMA: Do you have a room we could shut him up in? >Somewhere where he won't damage anything of yours. Oh, >and make sure there's no hot water. He's terribly >afraid of hot water. > >KASUMI: Of course! > >KASUMI seizes the leash from RANMA and hauls the >protesting panda away, despite its struggles. It >should be noted that the panda is far more massive >than the girl. She is apparently stronger than she >looks. TENDO clears his throat. > >TENDO: Ranma Saotome, is it? I was expecting your >father, Genma. > >RANMA: He'll be along eventually. (mutters) >Unfortunately. > >NABIKI: Are you wealthy? > >RANMA: Huh? No. > >NABIKI: Not interested. > >NABIKI walks further into the house. Both TENDO and >AKANE realise that she is suddenly the only daughter >remaining. > >AKANE: No way! > >TENDO restrains his daughter with a gentle hand on her >shoulder. > >TENDO: I am pleased to meet you, Ranma Saotome. I >trust your father has explained the nature of our >arrangement? > >AKANE: I’m not marrying him and that's final! > >RANMA: Yes. However, if none of your daughters are >willing, I'm sure we can find some honorable >compromise. I wouldn't want anyone to be forced into a >wedding against their wishes. > >AKANE relaxes. TENDO frowns. > >TENDO: Are you saying you wish to break the engagement? > >RANMA: (sweatdrops, although it's hard to tell against >the rain) What? Um, no. I'm not breaking anything. I'm >just saying it's okay if they don't want to. (He wipes >water out of his eyes.) Can I come in? I'm getting >drenched out here. > >KASUMI reappears. > >KASUMI: Oh, how rude of us! Come inside and have a >nice hot bath while I dry your clothes for you. > >RANMA: Thank you. > >Kasumi leads the dripping Ranma to the bathroom. Akane >and Tendo continue to argue. > >AKANE: But he said we didn't have to! Can't we just >forget the whole thing? > >TENDO: You wish to destroy my honor! *sobs* > >Scene shift: Outside the bathroom. Kasumi appears with >a basket of laundry. Setting the laundry down, she >twists at the doorknob. It is locked. A tiny frown >crosses her features. She twists at the knob again. >There is a snapping sound, and the door comes open. > >KASUMI: *cheery* Clothes! > >Kasumi sticks her head through the door to greet the >current inhabitant of the bathroom. What she sees, >however, apparently taked her by surprise. > >RANKO: EEK! > >The wet, naked, steaming, and very female Ranko leaps >out of the bath and snatches for a towel to cover >herself, hiding her ample breasts from view. > >KASUMI: Oh, my! > >RANKO: Get out! > >KASUMI: All right. > >A confused Kasumi leaves the room. Ranko hugs her >towel and looks longingly at the basket of laundry >just out of reach in the hallway. She takes a few >hesitant steps forwards, then dives for the clothes. >Just as she reaches them, Akane and Nabiki appear in >the hallway. The three girls look at each other and >all begin screaming. Ranko grabs the clothes and jumps >back into the bathroom, slamming the door. Nabiki and >Akane halt in mid-scream. > >AKANE: Who was *that*? > >NABIKI: I don't know, but I bet I could get her a job >as a model. > >AKANE: Nabiki, you shouldn't look at other girls that >way. > >NABIKI: It's not my fault she was naked. > >AKANE: I wonder who she was and how she got into our >bathroom? > >Akane walks up and opens the unlocked door, only to >find a fully clothed Ranma behind it. > >RANMA: Um. Can I help you? > >AKANE: Oh, sorry… whatever your name was. Excuse me, >is there a naked girl in here? > >RANMA: No. > >AKANE: Are you sure? > >RANMA: I think I'd notice. > >Akane looks suspicious. > >AKANE: She's your girlfriend, isn't she? Is that why >you don't want to marry us? You already have a girl? > >RANMA: No, that's not it at all! > >AKANE: Aren't we good enough for you? > >NABIKI: Sis, you're getting emotional. Let me deal >with this. > >Nabiki gently shoves Ranma and Akane out of the way >and begins a careful inspection of the bathroom. > >NABIKI: Well, there's no one hiding in here, and the >window is painted shut. So this leaves us with four >logical possibilities. One, we all hallucinated seeing >a girl here. Two, the girl was a ghost or spirit. >Three, the girl has used some kind of magic to escape >without our being able to see her. Or four, the girl >is still here and is actually Ranma. > >Ranma jumps. Nabiki notices. > >NABIKI: Hrm. I think I'll have to revise my >probability estimates on that one. > >AKANE: Wait. What? > >NABIKI: Watch. > >Nabiki snatches at Ranma's shirt. Ranma squeaks, but >Nabiki manages to pull it open to reveal… a masculine >chest. > >NABIKI: Strange. That doesn't look like what we saw >before. Very interesting. > >RANMA: Get your hands off me! > >NABIKI: I wonder… > >Nabiki starts to reach for Ranma's pants. Ranma >screeches and stumbles backwards, falling into the >still-warm waters of the bathtub, where he changes >into a very unhappy redheaded girl. The Tendo sisters >stand over her, staring. > >RANKO: Um. Hi? > >Kasumi reappears. > >KASUMI. Oh, dear. And I just dried those! > >Cut to the Tendo living room, where everyone is still >staring at the once-again male Ranma. > >AKANE: Let me get this straight. Getting wet makes you >change sex? > >Ranma nods glumly. > >AKANE: Weirdest thing I ever heard. > >NABIKI: (mischievous) Weirder even than… > >AKANE: Shut up! > >KASUMI: (perky) How nice! > >RANMA: *Nice*? > >Kasumi just smiles. Tendo shakes his head. > >TENDO: I'm sorry, young… man… but this is a lot to >take in. Not to mention the fact that we've never met >you before. Without your father here, how do we know >you're even really a Saotome? (starts to sound >overwrought) A stranger, after the virtue of my >daughters! > >RANMA: But I did bring Dad. He's the panda. > >TENDO: See here, young man. I trained with Genma >Saotome, and he was definitely not a panda. > >RANMA: It's a magic curse. See, we were at this >training ground in China, and there were these pools, >and if you fall into one of them, then after that you >change into something else when you get wet. > >AKANE: And that's why you turn into a girl. > >RANMA: (noncommittal) Mmm. (smiles, a bit forced) So >anyway, if you just throw some hot water on him, he'll >be Dad again. > >AKANE: That does it. We are not marrying into this >family. I don't want babies that change into pigs when >you bathe them! > >NABIKI: You want babies, Akane? > >AKANE: I didn't say that! > >RANMA: It's probably not hereditary. > >NABIKI: Hrm, I wonder what the odds would be on that… > >TENDO: Kasumi, could you go prepare some hot water for >the panda? > >KASUMI: Right away! > >Kasumi exits. > >AKANE: You're awfully calm about this whole water >changing thing. I mean, I'd be pretty freaked out if >getting wet made me turn into a *boy*. > >Ranma flinches. > >NABIKI: (cheerful) Akane doesn't like boys very much. >You'll be perfect for her! > >RANMA: (mumbles) Great. > >Akane whacks her sister with a pillow. > >AKANE: Pervert! I don't like girls! > >Ranma runs his hand over his hair nervously. > >RANMA: Anyway, that's kinda why I said it was okay if >you weren't interested in marrying me. I mean, no hard >feelings. This whole curse thing wasn't around when >you made the original arrangement, so you can break it >without losing honor… > >SAOTOME: No. > >Kasumi and a wet Genma Saotome enter. > >SAOTOME: A deal is a deal. Our children must be >married. > >Ranma sighs. > >TENDO: Hello, Genma. It's been a long time. > >Saotome nods. He looks at Ranma. > >SAOTOME: Son, why don't you go practice in the Dojo >for a while? Your father-in-law and I have much to >discuss. > >RANMA: (meek) Yes, Father. > >Scene shift. Ranma is going through exercises in the >Tendo Dojo. Akane walks in. > >AKANE: Hi. > >RANMA: Hi. (continues kata) > >AKANE: I just wanted you to know, I don't blame you >for this. I mean, you seem like a nice guy. I just >don't want to get married. > >RANMA: Me neither. But I have to do what Dad says. > >AKANE: Yeah. (sighs) Wanna spar? > >RANMA: Sure! > >They fight. Akane is clearly outmatched and winds up >getting knocked across the room. > >AKANE: Wow. You're good. > >RANMA: (shrugs) I ought to be, Dad's made me spend my >entire life training. > >AKANE: Try again, I'm ready this time. > >They fight again. Akane gets thrown and lands with an >oof. > >RANMA: Are you okay? > >AKANE: You don't need to protect me cause I'm a >*girl*, you know. > >RANMA: I wasn't. > >AKANE: Oh, really? (looks angry) So you'd have said >the same thing if I were a boy? > > RANMA: Yes. It's stupid to treat someone differently >just because of their gender. > >AKANE: (defused) Oh. (pauses) Try it again? > >They fight for a long time. Ranma consistently wins. > >AKANE: (panting) Not fair. > >RANMA: Sorry. Like I said, Dad's been pretty pushy on >my training. > >AKANE: But I train too! > >RANMA: You know those machines in tennis that fire >balls at you so you can practice on your own? Dad got >a whole bunch of them and set them up in a circle >around me to teach me to dodge. > >AKANE: That's not that bad. > >RANMA: I was four years old. > >AKANE: Oh. > >RANMA: And that was just the beginning. > >AKANE: I guess it's not *too* bad that you're better >than me, then. > >Ranma smiles tentatively. > >RANMA: Friends? > >AKANE: I’m still not marrying you. > >But she smiles. > >AKANE: I don't know about you, but I could use a drink. > >RANMA: That'd be great. > >Akane fetches two glasses of ice water. Predictably >enough, she manages to trip and spill Ranma's drink >all over him. > >AKANE: Oops! I didn't mean to make you… > >She blinks. Ranma is still male. > >AKANE: What happened to the curse? > >RANMA: Huh? Oh, um, er… it's only hot water that makes >me turn into a girl. > >AKANE: That's right, you were all wet from the rain >when you came here, weren't you? > >RANMA: (nods) Hot water makes me a girl, cold water >changes me back. > >AKANE: Okay. I'll go get you another drink. (starts to >leave, pauses) Wait a second. If cold water changes >you back to normal, then why was your father a panda >in the rain? Is it different for every curse? >(Silence. She turns.) Ranma? > >Ranma is curled up in a ball, crying. Akane looks >shocked. > >AKANE: Ranma? What… did I… I'm sorry… > >RANMA: (crying) Think about it! I promised I wouldn't >tell! Just think about it! > >AKANE: Think about what? > >RANMA: The curse! The cold water! > >AKANE: The… (Realization dawns.) You're a girl. > >Ranma nods pitifully. > >AKANE: You're a *girl*. > >Ranma sniffles. Akane, too surprised to be angry, >walks over and sinks to her knees beside him. > >AKANE: Why didn't you say so earlier? > >RANMA: My father… wrote to your father. He found out >you were all girls. He needed a son. So he took me to >Jusenkyo… > >AKANE: He *pushed* you into that cursed pool? > >RANMA: And I struggled, and he fell into the panda >pool. > >AKANE: (sounds angry now) And you weren't planning on >telling us you weren't really a boy? You were just >going to marry m… one of us anyway? > >RANMA: I had no choice! Do you think I wanted this? >But I have to do what Dad says… (sniffles) Please >don't hate me! I hoped you wouldn't want to marry a >sex-changing freak and we could just get out of this >whole mess… > >Ranma buries his head in his hands. Akane awkwardly >tries to comfort him. > >AKANE: It's okay. I don't hate you. It'll be all >right. Let me get you some hot water, and then we can >go talk to our parents. > >Scene shift, back to the living room. > >SAOTOME: Then it's settled? > >TENDO: Akane will marry your son. > >They shake hands, just as two girls enter the room, >one with dark hair, one with red. > >AKANE: There's a problem with that, dad. He doesn't >*have* a son. > >TENDO: What? > >AKANE: He has a daughter. Dad, I'd like you to meet my >friend, Ranko Saotome. > >Some time later, in Akane's bedroom. Akane is throwing >things around, apparently trying to reorganise. > >NABIKI: So, the Saotome kid's really a girl, huh? > >AKANE: Yes. > >NABIKI: I wonder if she'd be interested in a modeling >contract? > >AKANE: Look, just leave her alone, okay? She's had a >rough time. > >NABIKI: You're awfully protective of someone you've >only just met. And offering to share your room with >her, even! Are you sure we shouldn't marry the two of >you after all? > >Akane throws a stuffed animal at her. > >AKANE: Shut up! > >NABIKI: You've never made it a secret that you don't >like boys… > >This time, Akane throws a heavy book. Nabiki ducks. > >AKANE: Leave me alone! > >NABIKI: Okay, okay, sorry. > >She leaves. Akane sinks onto the bed, hugging an old >teddy bear to herself. > >AKANE: But, when I saw him fighting, I thought he was >so… beautiful… It's not fair. Why does the only nice >boy in my life turn out not to be a boy after all?

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