|Subject: Agony of Life : part three
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Date Posted: 20:15:58 06/22/08 Sun
In reply to:
's message, "Agony of Life : part one a new story" on 19:26:43 06/19/08 Thu
part three Heartache
1 Sep 2005
Mac came out of the bathroom. She had been brushing her teeth after dinner when her water broke. She took a minute to towel off and change before calling Harm.
Harm came bounding up the stairs two at a time. Something must be wrong, she never yelled for him to come, it wasn’t dignified or Marine like. She would usually seek him out like an adventure.
“What is it Mac?” he asked upon finding her in the bedroom.
“My water broke, I’m starting to have contractions.” she replied.
Mac was going into contractions. Harm was surprised, she was two or three weeks early. He couldn’t remember which. He was trying to remain calm, trying not to panic, but this was a new experience for him, which meant he wasn’t fully in control.
Harm gathered up all her things and took her to the Lexus. He drove her to the hospital in record time. He couldn’t believe her contractions were coming so quickly. He only hoped that he got her to the hospital in time.
He got her to the emergency room where they quickly examined her before sending her upstairs to the delivery room. It wasn’t long before the baby was born, it was a beautiful little girl who looked just her mommy.
The nurse cleaned her up and took her vitals before giving her to Harm to hold. But before he could fully take in his little miracle, Mac’s vitals began to crash. The doctors couldn’t control the bleeding.
They worked on Mac for twenty minutes without success. Finally they had to call it. Harm sank down and back into a chair in the room. He was so devastated that he began to cry. He was shaking so much that one of the nurses had to take the baby from him.
Harm sat there crying. His head now rested between his knees as he wondered what he was going to do. Sarah was his life. As much as he wanted children, he didn’t want them if it meant she wasn’t going to be there with him.
One of the nurses called social services. She knew Harm was in needed of help, help she wasn’t able to give him. The social worker would be able to get him the grief counseling that he was going to need and any other help he would need in taking care of the baby.
Funeral arrangements would need to be arranged. Day care would be needed. He would need help taking care of the baby when she was at home. The list was endless thought the nurse. He would be in good hands though.
Twenty minutes later the social worker arrived. Her name was Valerie Sullivan. She walked over to Harm and introduced herself. She took his hand to begin the grieving process, to help him regain his composure.
“Is there anyone you want me to call Mr. Rabb?” asked Valerie.
“Yes please, please call Bud Roberts 988-369-6969.” replied Harm.
“Is there anything I can do for you Sir?” asked Valerie.
“Can you bring Sarah back to me?” asked Harm.
“I’m afraid I can’t Sir.” replied Valerie seeing the despair on Harm’s face. It was the hardest part of her job. She didn’t think she would ever get use to seeing the effects of a love one dying.
It wasn’t long before Bud and Harriet were at Bethesda. They didn’t know exactly what happened. They assumed the woman was calling for Harm to let them know Sarah was having the baby.
When they got to room where Harm was, they were shocked at what they saw. Harm’s head was almost in his lap. They could see that he had been crying. They wondered what was wrong. Was it the baby? Did the baby die?
They went over to him and sat down beside him. Harriet rubbed his back as she asked him what was wrong.
“Harm, it’s me Harriet. What’s wrong? Did something happen to the baby?”
“The baby is alright. It’s a girl.” cried Harm.
“That’s wonderful Harm. Sarah wanted to have a baby girl.” replied Harriet.
“Sarah died Harriet. She started bleeding and they couldn’t get the bleeding to stop.” cried Harm.
“I’m so sorry Harm.” replied Harriet as she too began to cry.
Bud talked to the social worker. She told him that the baby was fine, but the hospital was going to keep the baby over night for a few days since she was a couple of weeks early.
Valerie thought it would be a good idea for Bud to take Harm home and for someone to stay with him. She could come by tomorrow to talk with Harm about the funeral arrangements for Sarah.
She would also look in on the baby and keep him up to date as to her condition and to let Harm know when the baby could go home. Bud thanked her for her help. He understood the difficulties everyone was going through, it wasn’t that long ago he had lost baby Sarah.
The next day Harm told Bud to go home and be with his family. They needed him more than he did. He wanted to grieve for Sarah by himself. He wanted to be alone. He didn’t want anyone asking him if he was alright.
Later in the day Valerie dropped by to see Harm. She wanted to see how Harm was doing and to give him an update on the baby. She knew it was going to be a difficult time for Harm. She wanted to make sure everything was taken care of.
“How are you doing today Mr. Rabb?” asked Valerie.
“It’s Harm. I don’t think I’m ever going to be alright.” replied Harm.
“I’m very sorry about your wife Harm. In my profession I see this kind of tragedies much too often. It’s heart wrenching for everyone involved. I’m here to help you in any way possible Harm.” offered Valerie.
“Do you need any help with the funeral?” asked Valerie.
“No, Bud is going to handle most of the arrangements. I still have to call my mother and tell her about Sarah. I don’t know how I’m going to do it. Sarah was my life for the last nine years.” sobbed Harm.
“You still have the baby Harm. She’s going to need you.” replied Valerie as she tried to comfort Harm. “I saw her this morning before I came over here, she’s beautiful.”
“I can’t. There is no way I can take care of a baby by myself. I can’t even take care of myself right now.” cried Harm.
“That’s why I’m here Harm, to help you. I can help you arrange day care for your baby. I could help you find a nanny or a nurse to look after her.” offered Valerie hoping to show Harm that his life wasn’t over.
“You don’t understand, I’m never going to be able to get over losing Sarah. I can’t raise a baby, I don’t ever want to see another baby.” replied Harm.
“Harm!” pleaded Valerie.
“I want you to find her a good home. I want you to find two people who have wished for a child, but couldn’t have one of their own.” directed Harm.
“But Harm, you should wait a few weeks before you make that decision until you’re feeling better.” pleaded Valerie.
“That’s just it, I’m never going to feel better.” replied Harm.
“Okay Harm, if that’s what you want. I know a private adoption agency that can take care of you. They deal with loving couples who are unable to have their own children. I’ll have them get in touch with you.” replied Valerie sadly.
What Harm was asking her to do wasn’t unusual, but usually the grieving parent waited a couple months before asking her. She liked to give them time to get over the initial grief of losing a love one first before making such a life altering decision.
2 Sep 2005
The next day Harm heard knocking at the door. He was hoping that he wouldn’t be getting any visitors after he told Bud and Harriet that he wanted to be left alone. Maybe they wouldn’t stay long if he ignored them while they were here.
When he opened the door he saw the General standing there. Just what he needed today, the mighty midget was here to offer his condolences. Why couldn’t he just stay away?
“Afternoon Sir.” greeted Harm.
“Commander, I’m sorry for your lost. The Colonel was an excellent Marine. She will be sorely missed.” replied the General.
“I take it that Bud let you know about what happened last night Sir.” asked Harm.
“I got a call from him late last night. By the way how is the little one doing?” asked the General.
“She’s doing fine Sir. She looks like a little Mac.” replied Harm hoping that the General would leave.
“I want you to take the next two weeks off. You need time to grieve. If you need more time after that, we talk about it.” ordered the General.
“Yes Sir.” replied Harm.
7 Sep 2005
A few days later Valerie Sullivan arrived at Harm’s apartment with Mr. Isaac Newton. He was one of the heads of an adoption agency, Children for Deserving Parents. They handled private adoptions.
“Good afternoon Harm. I would like you to meet Mr. Newton. He’s here to represent Children for Deserving Parents.” greeted Valerie as she introduced her companion.
“Good afternoon Mr. Rabb.” greeted Isaac.
“Please call me Harm. I take it you have a client who’s looking to adopt a baby Sir.” replied Harm.
“Yes Sir. Their names are Ellen and Roger Johnson. They are college professors who teach economics at U Mass Amherst. They have been trying to have a baby for many years, but haven’t been able to.” informed Isaac.
“They are about the same age as you and your wife. They have a nice little home near campus.” added Valerie hoping to sell the couple.
“They sound fine. I only have one request, they have to keep her given name, Sarah Mackenzie.” replied Harm.
“I’m sure that shouldn’t be a problem. Sarah is a beautiful name.” assured Isaac.
“Have you seen Sarah since she was born Harm?” asked Valerie. She was quite concerned about Harm, but she was also concerned about the baby. They needed daily attention and love.
“I have seen her a couple of time, they said she needed to stay for a week since she was a little early. I think you should be the one to pick her up Saturday Valerie. I won’t be bringing her home.” replied Harm.
“Are you sure Harm? Don’t you want to bond with her just a little?” asked Valerie.
“I can’t, it hurts too much right now. When Sarah died, a part of me died inside. I don’t think I will ever be alive again. Thank you for coming.” answered Harm as he escorted them out the door.
author's note: the next couple of chapters will be dark, but everything will get better for Harm eventually
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