|Subject: Agony of Life : part four
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Date Posted: 10:35:26 06/23/08 Mon
In reply to:
's message, "Agony of Life : part one a new story" on 19:26:43 06/19/08 Thu
part four Time to leave
15 Sep 2005
A week later Harm was in the General’s office. In the limited time after Sarah’s death he had been inundated with so many visits and well wishes by well meaning friends. He couldn’t take it anymore.
He needed to get out Washington. He needed to leave JAG headquarters. He needed to get away from all the memories that one Sarah Mackenzie had put into his life over the last nine years.
He needed to forget, at least for a short time. He needed the pain to go away. That wasn’t going to happen as long as he was at JAG headquarters. He needed to be somewhere where there wasn’t anyone to remind him of Sarah and the life he lost.
“What can I do for you Commander? I’m a bit surprise to see you in here today. I thought you would be spending more time with your little girl.” began the General.
“I’d like to request a transfer Sir.” replied Harm.
“Why Commander? Aren’t you happy here?” asked the General bluntly.
He didn’t like the idea of one of his officers running away just because life was hard and he had been thrown a curve. He was already down one officer, he didn’t want to be down another.
“No Sir, it’s time for me to move on. The only thing that was keeping me here at headquarters was Sarah. She’s gone now Sir.” replied Harm fighting hard to keep the tears from falling.
“I’m sorry for your lost Commander. The Colonel was a special lady, an outstanding Marine. She will be sorely miss.” sighed the General.
“Yes Sir.” replied Harm.
“It’s times like this that you need your friends Commander.” countered the General. He didn’t want to see Harm leave. He was already down one lawyer, he didn’t want to be down another.
“I can’t deal with them Sir. I need space to deal with my loss. They’re suffocating me. They’re not allowing me the time to grieve for her. I know they all mean well, but it’s too painful to be around them.
They remind me too much of what I’ve lost. I need to move on Sir. It doesn’t matter where. Please Sir, I need this time away.” pleaded Harm.
“I’ll see what I can do Commander. Give me a week, I should have something by then. Why don’t you go home now. I’ll call you when I find anything out.” replied the General.
“Yes Sir.” replied Harm before he left the General’s office.
The General had been surprised to see the condition the Commander was in. He looked tired and pale. He looked like he hadn’t slept or eaten in two weeks. He needed help, but right now what he needed most was time.
26 Sept 2005
Harm reported to the General’s office. He had spent most of the week at home before coming back to work Friday. He had completed the adoption process. Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, two college professors at U Mass Amherst, had adopted baby Rabb.
They were both in their late thirties and had wanted a child for such a long time, but they had not been able to have one. They had agreed to keep the name Sarah Mackenzie as part of the baby’s name.
Harm hadn’t told anyone at work about the adoption. He had never taken Sarah home with him. She had stayed at the hospital eight days until the adoption, which wasn’t unusual since she had been born two weeks early.
The General had checked around the different commands to see what was available. There hadn’t been much, but the best one was in London. He wanted to make sure Harm was going to a safe place considering the baby. He also wanted to give him an assignment that wouldn’t take him away from her either.
“Commander Rabb reporting Sir.” reported Harm.
“Have a seat Commander. I have found a good assignment for you. It’s in Europe, London to be more precise.” informed the General.
“Thank you Sir. I’ve always wanted to spend some time in Europe. It was the part of the world Sarah loved the most Sir.” replied Harm. He was anxious to leave.
“How are you doing Commander? Are you getting any sleep? Are you eating?” asked the General.
“Yes Sir, I’m feeling a little better. Sleep is hard to come by, but it is getting better. I have been eating some, but I think it’s still going to be awhile before my appetite returns.” Harm replied solemnly.
He still couldn’t sleep very long. If he did, the nightmare of losing Sarah would come back in living color. It was horrible. As much as he needed to eat, and as much as he tried to eat, he couldn’t eat too much or he would throw it all up.
“There is good news Commander. With this transfer comes a promotion to Captain. You will be in charge of an investigation unit. It’s part of a larger group under the Intelligence Command.” added the General.
“Thank you Sir. I look forward to it. Investigations have always been what I like doing most while I’ve been here at Jag.” replied Harm
1 Oct 2005
Harm went quietly about his business for the rest of the week closing up his office. He stayed away from other people for the most part by staying in his office behind locked doors.
He had been aided by the General who had told everyone to give Harm his space so that he could grieve in private. Everyone honored the request and were taken by surprised when the General announced that Harm had transferred to London and had been promoted to Captain.
There were no goodbyes. There wasn’t a farewell party to wish him luck in his new position or celebrate a promotion to Captain, a rank attained by only a few, but always by the best.
Harm’s initial goal when got to London was to get his twenty in. He had only a year to go, but due to his promotion he would have to stay an additional year. He hoped the change in scenery would help him heal and be able to deal with her death.
Harm tried to stay busy. He instituted new training measures. He changed up some of the teams, promoting some to leadership position and removing others whom had a history of doing sloppy work.
He brought in people with language skills, particularly those fluent in the middle eastern languages commonly used by known Arab terrorist groups. They seem to be the ones commonly involved in military crimes in Europe.
As for his personal life he slept very little, seldom getting more than four hours of sleep a night. His appetite also was diminished. He found himself missing meals constantly due to overworking and no apparent appetite.
He had loss weight, his skin lacked its usually robust color. It seemed that he was wasting away. As much as he tried to come to terms with Sarah’s death, he couldn’t. He was still angry anytime that he thought about her death.
He was still unable to think about the nine wonderful years he had spent with her. All the wonderful adventures they had gone on. All the investigations they had conducted so they could get their clients acquitted.
He couldn’t even think about the times that they went against each other in court where they dared the other to be better, work harder, and out think the other. He didn’t know if he would ever be whole again.
The next two years were very difficult as time seemed to pass by very slowly. The days were long, the nights even longer as sleep never seemed to come. He put his retirement papers in with three months to go until he had twenty one years.
He handled all the necessary retirement paperwork. He set up a trust fund for baby Sarah. All his retirement checks would go into the trust fund along with the death benefits he had received when Sarah died.
He figured by the time the baby came of age her trust fund would be worth several million dollars since his retirement check was over seventy five thousand a year and was expected to grow at an annual rate of eight to ten percent a year.
He might not be a part of her life as she grew up, but with all due respects to Sarah, his wife, he knew she would have wanted him to ensure that their little girl would want for nothing.
He retired to the farm after he resigned. His time there was short as he put anything of value into storage at the farm. He moved Sarah, his biplane to the farm. He moved his sixty nine corvette and Mac’s ninety nine corvette to the farm. He sold the Lexus and bought a used beat up truck. And then he was gone.
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