|Subject: A Night or Three to Remember : part 10
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Date Posted: 12:54:17 07/24/08 Thu
In reply to:
's message, "A Night or Three to Remember : part 1" on 20:00:35 07/17/08 Thu
26 Dec 2004
The MacKenzie/Rabb Estate
It was a little after midnight. Christmas was over. Harm and Sarah had just gone to bed. It had been a very long and busy day. The girls had been going non stop all day, except for Lizzie, who tuckered out a few times and needed to take a couple of naps.
Each time though she never left her newly acquired grandmother’s lap. Even when she was awake she never strayed very far from Trish. The last two days for Trish had been better than she had ever dreamed of.
Trish had always dreamt of spending time with her grandchildren. She loved children very much, but she never dreamed of having grandchildren that love her so unconditionally. She never wanted to leave and go back to La Jolla.
“That was an unbelievable day Sarah. I can’t imagine my life being any better than it was today.” Harm yawned.
“You made their day very special Harm. First you came home to them. Then you introduced them to a new grandmother and grandfather. They were all very happy.” Sarah smiled.
“Yeah, I guess so, especially Lizzie. She never left my mother’s side all day. I can tell Mom was very happy. She’s been waiting for this day for a very long time. I think it was better than she ever expected.
Thank you Sarah for giving me four wonderful and beautiful girls. I love you so much.” Harm replied before giving her a kiss.
“Even Frank was impress with the wonderful job you’ve done Sarah. He loves all of them. He told me when he gets back to La Jolla, he’s going to set up trust funds for all of them along with a college fund.”
“I love your parents Harm. I can’t believe it was easy for them to walk in here and find out that they had four grandchildren.” Sarah smiled.
“I think they were more surprised that I found someone as wonderful and beautiful as you Sarah. They love you as much as I do.” he kissed her again.
“As much as I think your parents were surprised to find out about the girls, I think the Admiral was even more surprised to find out you were the girls’ father. As far as the Admiral knew, I had only met you twice and only for a day or two each time.” she informed him.
“Well he used to tell me he liked to keep his nose out of the personal lives of his personnel. Besides why would he even think I was their father? They don’t look like me, they all look like you. It’s like they’re clones.” he smiled.
“They may all look alike Harm, but they all do have subtle differences if you look hard enough. They all have different smiles and their eyes are different shades of blue. You need to remember all this Harm.
In twenty years they all going to look alike. They will probably be as tall as each other. You’re going to have to recognize the subtle differences in each one of them if you’re going to be able to tell them apart. Okay Harm?” she smiled before giving him a kiss.
“What I have noticed the most Sarah is their personalities. Tory seems to be like you. She’s a take charge person. She doesn’t put up with any nonsense from her sisters, but she is very protective of them.
Ronnie seems to do her own thing. There are times she likes to be part of the group and other times she seems to like being by herself. She also likes to get into trouble.
Lizzie seems to like to cuddle a lot. She doesn’t seem to like being alone by herself right now. She’s very clingy, but she is open to new adventures especially if it includes ice cream.” he replied.
He wanted her to know he wasn’t completely oblivious where it concerned the girls. He had spent almost every waking hour with them since he came to see Sarah when he got back.
“I guess you have been paying attention Harm. Most people don’t pick up on the differences in their personalities so quickly. The Admiral still hasn’t quite figured that out about the girls and he usually sees them at least once a month.” she smiled.
She was happy that Harm was getting to know the girls so well. Having him stay at the house had been a great idea. It helped him bond with the girls much more quickly. They loved him and he loved them.
Of course she had her own reasons for wanting him to stay at the house. Besides wanting a father for her girls, she wanted companionship. It had been a very long time since she had someone in her life on a regular basis.
Harm made her feel beautiful and loved. There was nothing better than falling asleep every night in his arms. She was amazed that she was sleeping longer and deeper since he came to live with her and the girls.
“Sarah, .... there’s something I have wanted to talk to you about, but ..... I’ve been afraid to say anything about it.” he began.
“What is it Harm? I hope you know you can ask me anything.” she replied.
She wondered if Harm was going to move out of the house after the holidays because they weren’t married. She thought it might have something to with the appearance of impropriety. She was surprised with the question Harm was about to ask.
“Why didn’t you tell me about the girls Sarah? I’ve missed so much of their lives.” he asked sounding a little hurt.
“I tried to Harm, but you were never interested in talking with me. Every time we got together you would say ‘not now Sarah, we’ll talk in the morning’. The next morning I would wake up and you would be gone. You would leave me a note.
It’s not as if we were ever a couple Harm. The first time we met, we slept in the back of a pickup truck while we waited for my uncle. You made love to me in your sleep because you thought I was your dead girlfriend, Diane.
By all rights Harm I could have reported you for violating me while I was sleeping. You were probably still grieving her lost. You were trying to connect with her one more time. I understood that I looked like Diane.
I didn’t find out I was pregnant until a few months later. At best what we had was a one nightstand. Was there really any reason for me to let you know I was pregnant. I didn’t know you, you didn’t know me.
I didn’t think I needed to interrupt your life. In a way I did let you know about Victoria, Harm. I had your wages attached for child support. You obviously didn’t care or never checked your paycheck.
When I was transferred here several years later I did asked you to come to my apartment so I could talk to you about Victoria.” she paused.
“I never checked my pay stubs Sarah. With direct deposit it all goes directly into my bank account. I don’t live paycheck to paycheck so I didn’t have to worry about running out of money.
And add in the fact I got step increases along with cost of living raises, plus combat pay I don’t think my paycheck actually got smaller. It probably stayed about the same.
I do remember that you did asked me at Jag Headquarters that I needed to meet with you. But at the time I was so preoccupied with leaving Jag and returning to the Fleet. I wasn’t interested in talking, only about flying.
I hadn’t been involved with anyone at the time. It had to be at least two years since I stopped seeing Annie. And I needed to make love with the most beautiful woman in the world before I left.
I didn’t know if I would live long enough to have another opportunity.” he replied shrugging his shoulders.
“But you promised me we would talk in the morning Harm.” she argued.
“And I would have, but I got a call very early in the morning on my cell phone. They had moved up my departure time a couple of hours. I had to leave. You looked so peaceful sleeping there, I couldn’t wake you up, so I wrote you a letter.” he rebutted.
“It was a lovely note Harm, but it didn’t resolve anything. Your actions told me you weren’t interested in having a relationship with me at that time. For all intended purposes it was just another one nightstand for you that resulted in me having another child.
I attached your paycheck for more child support and money for a house. If you really wanted to be a part of my life and the girls’ lives back then you would have contacted me after you saw the deductions from your pay.
When you didn’t respond or do anything about the deductions, I assumed that you didn’t care. I moved on with my life.” she sighed. Why was he being such an ass? Everything had been so good the last couple of weeks.
“I’m sorry Sarah, but I never saw any of my pay stubs while I was on the aircraft carrier. I had Bud collect all of them and file them away. You still should have told me Sarah.” he argued.
“When Harm? Every time I saw you and asked you to talk, you said not now. You didn’t want to know Harm! You only wanted one thing! You have no one to blame but yourself. Flying was the only thing that was important to you.
There was no way I could fight you on that. I wouldn’t even if I could. I couldn’t be responsible for you not flying. It was something you had to decide on your own.” she rebutted angry and hurt.
“I wanted to talk to you when I was doing that investigation. I brought papers for you to sign. I was there for several days Harm. Not once did you make an attempt to get back to me. Why Harm? Because you didn’t care enough too.
You didn’t want to talk. You avoided me the whole time I was there. So the fault was all yours Harm. I made the effort, it just wasn’t important enough to you at the time.” she explained as tears formed in her eyes.
“I guess you’re right Sarah. I have been target fixated the last few years. All I’ve ever cared about was flying. I haven’t allowed myself to be distracted by anyone or anything during that time. I didn’t even allow for the possibility of someone getting in the way of my flying.
You’re also right about my negligence. I hadn’t checked my pay stub in ten years. If I had I would have known something was up. I would have found out sooner that I had a child.” he moaned in agreement.
“You could have kept on flying Harm, I would never have ask you to give up something you love.” she tried to reassure him.
“But I probably would have given up flying a lot sooner. I wouldn’t have wanted to miss out on their lives like I have. I guess it’s the price I have to pay for having my head up my six.” he sighed with disappointment.
“There’s nothing we can do about that Harm. It’s done, it’s over with, it’s in the past. All we can do now is look forward to the future and make sure it doesn’t happen again. Just know that the girls love you Harm and I love you.” she cooed before giving him a passionate kiss.
“I love you too Sarah. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to marry you Sarah. Will you marry me?” he asked.
“Yes Harm, I’ll marry you.” she replied.
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