|Subject: Separation and Hope : part 1 and 2 of 15
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Date Posted: 18:53:48 06/10/08 Tue
Title: Separation and Hope
Pairing: Harm & Sarah
Disclaimer: JAG is property of Belisarius productions, no copyright infringement intended.
Summary: When Harm leaves Jag to fly, Sarah decides to move on when she doesn't hear from him.
Good feedback is good for the soul and my happiness.
Author’s note: Alternative universe where Harm and Sarah said goodbye one last time before he leaves to fly. Takes place after the end of season four.
part one Reflections
3 Sep 1999
Sarah MacKenzie sat in her office thinking about the what if’s. It had been almost three and half months since Harm left to return to active flight status on the Patrick Henry. It had been a very hard time for her. All the people she loved were leaving her.
Harriet was the first. She had her baby in late April. Harriet initially was only going to take maternity leave for a few months, but she later decided to leave JAG and go into the reserves. She wanted to spend as much time with her baby as possible.
Harriet would show up for two days a month for active duty, but otherwise she was gone from Sarah’s life completely. She knew she could always visit Harriet, but visiting with her only reminded her of what she was missing.
Then two weeks later Chloe left to live with her grandparents in Vermont. Even though she was happy for Chloe and that she would be with her real family, people who really loved her, Sarah still missed her so much that it hurt.
Chloe had become very important to her. She was so perfect. The perfect little girl, so beautiful and intelligent.
She loved Chloe and Chloe loved her. She had become a very happy and intelligent girl who was a joy to be around except when she opened her mouth to reveal Sarah's most private secrets to anyone willing to listen to her.
And finally two weeks after Chloe left, Harm left her too. He had had his vision corrected while she was away visiting her dying father. He could see at night now. There weren’t any excuses to why he couldn’t be a full time aviator.
It was something he always wanted to do more than anything else. It was a step backwards at this stage of his career, but it didn’t matter to him. All he wanted to do was fly. She had hoped that he would want to be with her more.
Maybe that was the reason Harm made the baby deal with her in April. If they weren’t in a relationship with anyone else in five years they would go halves on a baby. Of course to her what she thought that meant was there was still a chance they could get together.
Their relationship had suffered greatly last year when her husband of thirteen years showed up out of the blue to remind her that they were still married. He of course wanted something. Unfortunately she couldn’t give him what he wanted, love. She was in love with Harm.
Sadly Chris died in a struggle for a gun he own. Even though Harm defended her in court, he punished her for months for not telling him about her marriage to Chris. He later began dating Jordan, a navy commander, who was someone she could never hate. She was blond, but she wasn’t a bimbo.
She guess that was the only good thing about Harm leaving to fly, Jordan broke up with him. She wasn’t interested in being a part time lover or being involved with an aviator. Even though Sarah didn’t want Harm to leave either, she didn’t want to prevent him from doing something that he loved.
They had a tearful goodbye in his office the day he left. She hated the idea he was leaving. It might be a long time before she ever saw him again. If the baby deal was any indication it could be five years. That was a long time to wait for the man she loved.
She had been surprised to see Harm show up at her door that night. She thought they had said their goodbyes at the office. They ordered in Chinese. After eating dinner one thing led to another and before she knew what was happening they were making sweet love in her bedroom.
It had been the most wonderful feeling she ever experience. Their lovemaking was gentle at first, but later it became wild and passionate. They made love half the night before falling asleep in each other’s arms. It was a night she would never forget as long a she live.
When Harm left later that day they agreed to e-mail each other on a regular basis. Sarah was going to keep him updated with what was going on at Jag and Harm was going to let her know he doing alright, that he was still alive and well.
At first they communicated quite regularly by e-mail, two or three times a week. But now almost four months later she hardly heard from him. She had been sending him an update every Friday, keeping him informed with what was going on.
She wanted him to feel as though he was still a part of their lives at Jag. She knew that even though Harm was happy flying again everyday, he still missed his friends at Jag. Harm never forgot his friends.
Unfortunately for whatever reason she didn’t understand, Harm had begun to e-mail her less frequently. It had been more than two weeks since his last email.
She understood that it wasn’t always possible for him to e-mail her everyday, but was it asking too much of him that he stay in contact with her at least once a week.
The only thing she could figure out was, he was moving on without her. He was never going to return to Washington, to Jag, to her. He was going to remain with the fleet for as long as possible.
What that meant for them she didn’t know, what she did know, there wasn’t going to be any relationship between them any time soon. It would be nonexistent. She sighed with that realization.
She realized also that it didn’t make any sense to tell Harm the results of their night together before he left. A night that was so wonderful. A night that they had finally succumb to their needs and desires for each other.
What was unexpected was, she got pregnant. Since she hadn’t been in a relationship with anybody since Dalton died eighteen months ago, she had become lax about taking the proper safety precautions when dealing with having sex.
The last thing she thought about that night was that she and Harm would be making love. They got caught up in moment of passion. She never thought to ask Harm to use protection. Then again she didn’t care.
All she wanted to do was make love with him. As things turned out she was pregnant with his child. She was happy about that. She had expressed to Harm after little Aj’s birth her desire to have a child, especially when she saw Harriet and little Aj together.
Sarah sighed as she reflected on the current state of affairs. She finished typing out her request for transfer. She had been here at headquarters for over three years. It was time for her to move on.
Harm wasn’t coming back. There wasn’t any reason to stay around anymore. She had put on ten pounds. She was beginning to show. She wanted to leave before anyone realized her true condition, especially Harriet.
The last thing she wanted was to answer any questions about her pregnancy, especially about whom the father was. It didn’t really matter because he wasn’t here and he didn’t know. There was no way she was going to trap Harm into marrying her just because she was pregnant.
7 Sep 1999
Sarah knocked on the Admiral’s door. It was time to give him her transfer request. She couldn’t stay at headquarters anymore. It hurt too much. It had been over a month now since she had last heard from him. It was time to move on.
“Enter!” bellowed the Admiral when he heard the knock at his door.
“Sir.” replied Sarah as she stood at attention in front of his desk.
“What is it Colonel?” asked the Admiral coldly.
Sarah handed the Admiral the folder she was carrying. The Admiral took it and opened the folder. He was chagrined to see the transfer request inside. He had already lost one of his best people, he didn’t want to lose another.
“What’s going on here Colonel? Why have you given me this? Aren’t you happy here?” asked the Admiral.
“It’s time to move on Sir. I’ve been here over three years now. There’s nothing left here for me Sir.” replied Sarah.
“What do you mean Colonel? I’ve made you the temporary Chief of Staff. You’ve been promoted to Lieutenant Colonel. This is the best place for your career. You’re out from Rabb’s shadow now. It’s your time to shine.
Your work here can lead to further advancement and positions. Name recognition to the senior Naval Command alone is a reason to stay.” argued the Admiral.
He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. JAG Headquarters was the dream assignment for all aspiring lawyers for both military and civilian advancements.
Being the Chief of Staff for a few years could assist her in gaining another early promotion. It also could provide her a possible command position at another JAG location in a four or five years.
“This has something to do with Rabb, doesn’t it?” bellowed the Admiral slightly perturbed.
“Sir?” replied Sarah a little confused.
“He’s not here anymore. I know how close the two of you were.” replied the Admiral.
“Sir, I’m not sure what you’re implying, Commander Rabb was involved with Commander Parker before he left not me. He was dating her for the last five months. How could his leaving Jag affect me personally?” lied Sarah.
“His leaving JAG affected the whole JAG staff Colonel, but his leaving affects you the most Colonel. You’ll have a chance to shine on your own now. You won’t be sharing the lime light with the Commander anymore. You will be recognized for the work you do, not as his partner.” argued the Admiral.
He couldn’t understand why she was being so difficult. Why couldn’t she see that it was in her best interest to stay? Why couldn’t she see how important it was for her to stay in Washington? With Rabb gone, maybe he could develop a closer relationship with her.
Damm Rabb! It was bad enough that he had to lose him because of some childhood fantasy, but why did his actions have to drag Sarah away too. He didn’t like the idea of losing his two best lawyers.
“Sir, I’ve never worried about that. I believe my record speaks for itself. I just feel the need to be somewhere else right now. I think being in Europe is a good fit for me Sir. I can utilize all my skills.
I speak five European languages. I have good International law experience from my time serving two years in Bosnia seven years ago. I wish to build upon that experience. I also like the lifestyle there Sir.” explained Sarah.
“I hate to lose you Colonel, especially after losing the Commander. You two are the best lawyers I have ever had. There’s nothing either one of you can’t do. You both are excellent in the courtroom, you both are exceptional investigators, and you both know how to solve problems.
You both have a knack of finding out the truth when it doesn’t want to be found.” sighed the Admiral.
“As I’m sure you are aware of, there is a position available as Chief of Staff at the Naples’ office. They have been looking to fill the position for six weeks. If you want the position, it’s yours.
I’ll call Captain Rodgers tomorrow to let him know you’ll be filling the billet. How much time do you need Colonel?” conceded the Admiral resigning himself to the fact Sarah was leaving.
“I think two weeks should be sufficient Sir. One week to finish up some cases and another week to arrange for the move. And if you please Sir, I would like to keep all this quiet Sir.” replied Sarah.
1 Sep 1999
Harm was flying high through the skies. He had just completed a successful mission and was headed home, back to the carrier. As he and his RIO were leaving Yugoslavian airspace they were hit by a surface to air missile.
They were going down. The only question was could they make it back to safe airspace before they had to eject. They needed to get over a mountain range to be safely rescued.
“May day! May day! This is Fox Trot One. We’ve been hit and are going down. May day! May day! We are ejecting.” screamed Harm’s Rio into his mike hoping that a rescue team would be there as soon as possible.
The RIO pulled the ejection handle. They were going over a very mountainous territory. They weren’t flying at a very high altitude. Since the RIO ejected a few seconds before Harm, his parachute caught a gust of wind blowing him up and over the top of a fast approaching mountain.
Harm wasn’t so lucky. Since they were so low when they ejected his chute hadn’t had enough time to slow him down significantly. He crashed into the rough mountainous terrain knocking him unconscious.
Later that afternoon a goat herder and his son found him unconscious. One of his legs and one arm were broken. They couldn’t tell what other injuries Harm might have. They made up a make shift litter to move him a half mile down the mountain to their summer cabin.
They tried to make him as comfortable as possible. They splinted his injuries the best they could. They were many miles away from their main residence. They had no way of moving Harm there or to a hospital over a hundred miles away.
There were no roads in this area of the mountain. The terrain was too severe. It was only good for grazing goats or sheep. All they could do was insure that Harm was comfortable until he woke up.
Harm’s RIO on the other hand had made it over the mountain peak. He came down over a hundred miles away in a more receptive terrain. He managed to be taken to a police station and later to a NATO military base.
He was taken back to the Patrick Henry on a COD. Harm was reported as ejecting safely, but was missing in action. It was assumed that he landed in friendly territory.
It was determine not to notify JAG Headquarters. The Admiral had made it perfectly clear to the SecNav that if anything happen to Harm, he didn’t want to know anything about it. Harm wasn’t part of his command anymore.
So JAG European Headquarters in Naples, Italy was informed. They would handle the mishap investigation. They investigated the plane being shot down and notified Navy Command. They notified the Burnetts that Harm had been shot down and was assumed missing.
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