|Subject: Separation and Hope : part 7
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Date Posted: 18:22:23 06/19/08 Thu
In reply to:
's message, "Separation and Hope : part 1 and 2 of 15" on 18:53:48 06/10/08 Tue
22 Dec 1999
A couple of days later Sarah had a fire going in the fireplace. As beautiful as this old place was, it had the tendency to get very drafty during the winter. Sarah never cared much for rooms that were on the cool side never mind being drafty.
It was one of the few things that had bothered her about Harm’s apartment. He always like to keep the temperature lower, about sixty five degrees. Sarah like it much warmer, at least seventy three degrees.
She didn’t mind too much though. She had Harm trained so he usually would turn up the heat before she stopped over his place. She had thought that he would do just about anything to get her to spend time with him.
If only he would have expressed his real feelings that he had for her, then her world would have been perfect. Unfortunately Harm was either not capable of expressing himself or he was unwilling to tell her how he really felt.
Though he had done a nice job of showing her the night before he left. They had made passionate love for many hours before he had to leave. She had felt so wonderful that night. She thought there was still hope for a long term relationship with Harm.
But like everything else that had happen in her life, what she wanted was not to be. Harm was like all the other losers she had ever gotten close to, he left never to return. At least now she had the baby. The baby would never leave her, at least not for a very long time.
She heard someone knocking at the door. It must be Trish and Frank. They had called from the airport earlier when they arrived in Naples. Frank had arranged for a car to be waiting for them when they arrived.
Sarah had given them directions to her residence. They were going to stay in a hotel in the city, but Sarah convinced them not to bother. Her place was large enough to accommodate them.
She walked over to the door to let them in.
“Trish, Frank, come in please. Let me show you where to put your coats and suitcases.”
Trish was the first to enter, followed closely by Frank who had the luggage. Sarah led to them to the closet to put their coats away. She then showed Frank to her guest bedroom so he could put their luggage in.
She then led them back to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. After a few moment Trish noticed something that she hadn’t noticed when she first walked in. Sarah was waddling more than walking.
She looked Sarah up and down before coming to her senses. She was beginning to understand why Sarah wanted her to visit her. She wasn’t her usual beautiful slender self. She was looking to be much heavier.
“Sarah, ...... you’re pregnant!” exclaimed Trish. Sarah smiled at her realization.
“I can see where Harm gets his powers of observation from.” laughed Sarah.
Frank chuckled also. He had always like Sarah. It always amazed him how easy it was for her to banter with Trish, it was no wonder why Harm was in love with her. She was very beautiful and intelligent. She had a great sense of timing and was quite witty.
“How far along are you Sarah?” asked Trish. “Almost eight months, the baby is due at the end of January, and before you ask, Harm is the father. It’s the reason why I have asked you here. I know how much you have wanted grandchildren.
I’ve heard you tell Harm many times how much you want grandchildren before you were too old to enjoy them. I would never deprive you of spending time with the baby.” answered Sarah.
“What about Harm? Why won’t you see him or talk to him?” asked Trish.
“He’s moved on Trish. I would never want to trap him into marrying me because of the baby. He has to want me for me, not for the baby.” wailed Sarah.
“But he does love you Sarah. He spent the last two weeks before he left for Australia looking for you. He wanted to see you and talk to you about why he didn’t write to you Sarah. He feels really bad about that.
We talked about that at great length. I told him he of all people should have understood what it’s like to be left behind. He wouldn’t have gotten to know his father as well as he did if his father didn’t send him those letter tapes.” argued Trish.
“I know it might seem like he’s moved on, but he really hasn’t Sarah, at least not in his heart. He’s not that way Sarah. When he loves someone, it’s forever. He loves you Sarah.” explained Trish.
“I don’t know about that Trish. I know you love him as a mother, but I know him in ways you will never know him. You tell me he loves me, but he was dating another woman for the last five months before he left to return to flying.
The only reason they broke up was she wanted a full time man in her life. She didn’t want to live apart from Harm for six months a year. She wanted him every day. She wanted Harm the lawyer, not Harm the ace pilot.
The only reason we probably slept together the night before he left was because I fell apart and cried in his arms at work because he was leaving. If I was my usual gun ho ass kicking marine, he probably wouldn’t have stop by my apartment that night to see how I was doing.
He would have left and not looked back. He may very well love me Trish, but every action he has ever taken has told me otherwise. We have always been good friends, but that’s all we will ever be.
I’m sorry Trish, but it’s the only truth I see.” explained Sarah.
“I’m sorry too Sarah. You’re the best thing that has ever happen to him. You should tell him Sarah. He has a right to know that you’re having his baby.” argued Trish.
“He’s the one who left, he was the one who ran away to another life, to follow a dream, a life that doesn’t include me Trish. I’m not going to chase after him anymore. If he wants me, to see me, to talk to me, then he’s going to have to make the effort to do so.
He has the ability to find me, it’s not really that hard. But he has to want it, to do it without relying on others to do it for him.
I don’t want you to tell him about the baby or where I am. I do want you to be a part of the baby’s life. You’re welcome to visit the baby as often as you like as long as you respect my wishes and don’t tell Harm.” declared Sarah.
25 December 1999
Captain Rodgers’ Residence
Captain Rodgers had invited Sarah to his residence for Christmas. He had decorated a tree and hung assorted Christmas decorations around the house. He wanted to make it very festive for Sarah. He wanted to make a good impression with her.
Sarah had called him a few days later telling him that she had guests coming to visit her for Christmas. Wayne told her to feel free to bring them along, the more the merrier. All he cared about was that Sarah was spending Christmas with him.
It was at this point he made sure to invite a few more of his senior staff to join him for dinner that day. He didn’t want to tip his hand too much. The romancing of Sarah MacKenzie needn’t be rushed.
Sarah, Trish, and Frank arrived at the Captain’s residence in Frank’s limo. It had been a short ride over from Sarah’s residence. The weather was sunny, about forty five degrees. A little warm for Sarah, but quite cool for Trish and Frank.
They knocked on the door. The Captain greeted them at the door and smiled when he saw Sarah. He invited them all in.
“Sarah! It’s so good to see you. I see your friends made it here alright. Please come on in.” greeted Wayne.
“Good afternoon Sir, it was nice of you to invite me and my guests to your house for Christmas dinner. I appreciate it very much, thank you.” smile Sarah in return.
Trish looked on with suspicion. They seem a little too cozy together. Had Sarah really moved on as she had said? Was there something going on between them? How was this going to affect Harm in the long run?
God, she wish she could call Harm and tell him to get his six over here right now. Unfortunately she promised Sarah that she wouldn’t. She sighed that Harm might not get the opportunity to know his child, like his father didn’t know him.
“Please call me Wayne in my own house Sarah.” pleaded Wayne.
“Yes Sir.” smiled Sarah.
“Let me introduce you to Trish and Frank Burnett. They are the baby’s grandparents. They have come all the way from La Jolla, California to spend the holidays with me.
I’m hoping they will be here next month when the baby is born. I’m going to need a lot of help and advice with the baby. I’m not sure I’ll do anything right.” sighed Sarah. She really did want them to be a part of her baby’s life.
“I’m sure you’re do just fine Sarah. Harm has told me how wonderful you were with Chloe last year.” smiled Trish.
“Chloe was ten years old. That’s hardly a baby. She didn’t have a problem letting me know what she wanted or thought.” sighed Sarah as she thought about how much she missed Chloe.
“Don’t worry Sarah, I’ll be here for you. I wouldn’t miss being here when your baby is born. I’ve waited for him or her for a long time now. I’m so excited for you.” exclaimed Trish, her smile lighting up the room.
“We both are excited for you Sarah. Nothing will keep us from being here for you when the time comes. You can count on us Sarah.” added Frank. He was glad to see his wife so happy. She had been a little down after Harm’s visit.
“I can assure you both that I won’t work Sarah too hard over the next month. Personally I would like her to take the next month off and get ready for the baby, but you know Sarah, she’s a marine.” smiled Wayne.
“So Trish, how are you and Frank related to Sarah?” asked Wayne.
“By the way of the baby’s father. His name is Harmon Rabb.” replied Trish.
“Frank is his stepfather. I married him after his father was shot down in Viet Nam.” moaned Trish thinking back to the day that she received the bad news.
“I’ve heard about him. He was considered to be the best young lawyer in the Navy. He was considered the Navy’s poster boy. Some of the things I’ve heard that he has done are legendary.” smiled Wayne.
“Sarah has been a part of many of those adventures. The stories Harm has told me ..... you would have thought they had been married for many years.” sighed Trish. She was disappointed though that they weren’t married.
“I look forward to having you tell me about some of your stories Sarah. It will be nice to hear the whole story and not just the press releases and rumors.” smiled Wayne as he escorted Sarah into the den.
“That reminds me Trish, there was a pilot that was shot down in Yugoslavia just after labor day this year. He was reported missing for four months before he was finally rescued. I heard he suffered a concussion and broke his arm and leg in several places.
He passed through Naples earlier this month. I actually met with him in the hospital. He was very tall and good looking. I thought it might have been him.” said Wayne as he looked at Trish first and then Sarah.
Sarah’s breath caught as she heard Wayne talked about Harm. She looked over to Trish with a worried look for confirmation. All this time she hadn’t heard from Harm. She never knew he had been shot down. Maybe that was why he hadn’t written for so long.
But then again she hadn’t heard from him since the first week in August, a month before he had been shot down. As much as she wanted to excuse him she couldn’t. Nothing had really change. Harm had still moved on without her.
“Is that true Trish? Did he crash?” asked Sarah.
“Yes Sarah, Harm was the pilot who was shot down. What Captain Rodgers has told us about the pilot tonight, it was Harm. He was missing for four months. He was found in the mountains in Southern Yugoslavia.
He was in a remote area with no modes of transportation. He had to wait until his leg healed before he could walked down the mountain to a goat herder’s house. All he could think about all that time was getting home and back to you Sarah.” replied Trish.
Sarah sat there stunned. She had to think about what happen. She knew in his own unique way Harm loved her, but was it enough. She wasn’t sure. But one thing she did know, things between them hadn’t change.
All she kept hearing was how much Harm loved her. If he loved her so much why hadn’t he kept in touch with her? Why couldn’t he tell her how he felt? The only thing she knew for sure was that until he said the words, he didn’t love her.
She was here and Harm was somewhere else. As long as that was the way it was between them she didn’t want anyone to tell Harm where she was, not even his mother. She sighed as she realized her life wasn’t getting any less complicated.
“I never knew Trish. I don’t think anyone at JAG did. I don’t really know what I would have done if I had known. Maybe I would have stay there instead of coming here. I don’t know. I’m sorry Trish.” wailed Sarah.
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