|Subject: Separation and Hope : part 9
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Date Posted: 15:37:56 06/21/08 Sat
In reply to:
's message, "Separation and Hope : part 1 and 2 of 15" on 18:53:48 06/10/08 Tue
25 Jan 2002
Harm looked at the orders he had just received. He shook his head in complete disbelief. When was the nightmare going to end? Another year, another assignment he didn’t want. An assignment in another country in a part of the world he hated.
He wanted to be back in the states. He felt that if he was back in the states he would have a much better chance of finding Sarah. Another year had passed and he still hadn’t heard from her or anything about her.
He had kept in touched with Bud hoping that somehow he would find out something. But in the end Bud wasn’t able to do anything for him. He still didn’t know where she was. He still missed her more than life itself. He was at a loss. He didn’t know what to do.
He was at a point of resignation that any chance of a future he might have had with her was now gone. He had definitely blown it. Why did he punish her for not telling him about her first marriage?
Why had he been surprised she was married or had been married? She was a beautiful woman. She was twenty nine when he met her. Why wouldn’t she have been married? Not everybody puts off having a loving relationship to follow a childhood dream.
He should have just been there for her. He shouldn’t have been so judgmental. He should have just loved her for who she was, not for what she had done as a teenager. He knew she had had a difficult childhood. He should have found a way to understand.
He sighed in frustration as looked at his orders again. He had been reassigned to JAG unit in Okinawa, Japan. He was going to another place where he didn’t know the language and didn’t care about knowing the culture.
He had been there a couple times before. Both times he had seen the hatred of the people towards the United States. He didn’t understand why they bothered in an effort to help a group of ungrateful people.
We had helped them recover from losing the big one over fifty five years ago. We help them rebuild themselves into the second largest economy in the world. What was wrong with these people? What did they want?
Didn’t they understand that without an American presence in Japan, the Chinese could invade their country and place them in the same role that they had place the Chinese in so many years ago. Whatever. The hell with them.
Where was Sarah? He needed her. Why didn’t she try to contact him? What possibly could she be doing? Was she with the CIA? What possible mission could she be on that she couldn’t contact him?
When was it all going to end? When would he be with Sarah again, the woman he loved? Hadn’t he paid the price for being foolish enough to throw away the best thing that ever happen to him for a childhood dream.
Another year in Purgatory. Another year without his love.
27 Jan 2002
Trish and Frank were in Italy to visit with Sarah and Veronica. It was Veronica’s second birthday. They were having a small birthday party for her. There were a few more kids this year, but their ages were about the same.
Sarah was please to see them. They were like the parents she always wished she had. They were good people. Why Harm never spent more time with them she didn’t understand. But then again Harm had been fixated on finding his dad for so many years and flying.
He never did take the time to get to know Frank. Maybe he was in denial, that is, if he didn’t recognized Frank being married to his mother, his father would still be alive, he wouldn’t be dead. Not particularly a healthy way to live, but to each his own.
“So how is Harm? Have you heard from him lately?” asked Sarah.
“He really misses you Sarah, it’s all he talks about whenever he calls. He wonders why you won’t contact him. He says he’s tried to find you, but he hasn’t had any success. He thinks you must be working with the CIA on some covert undercover mission.” wailed Trish.
“If he really wanted to find me he could. He just needs to look in the right spot. I guess he hasn’t figured that out yet.” sighed Sarah.
“But Sarah, he misses you. He needs you. Don’t you think it’s time he knew about Veronica. She’s his child too.” argued Trish.
“His child? We spent one night together Trish. I wasn’t using any birth control because I hadn’t been in a relationship in over a year and a half. I had thought Harm might have loved me after our trip to Russia.
He had shown a side of himself I had never seen before. He looked like he was ready for a relationship. I had hoped it was with me, but I guess I was wrong. He went into a shell after he returned from California.
He never opened up to me again until the night he left to fly. I don’t know if he loved me then or he didn’t know if he would ever have another chance to be with me.
He was dating someone else before he left to fly. I was just his friend. That’s all I have ever been to him. Someone to fight with when he gets frustrated. He has never shown me that he loves me.
I cried in his arms the day the he left JAG. For some reason he showed up at my apartment that night. We talked for awhile. Later we made love. He left the next morning and I haven’t seen him since.
He stayed in contact with me for the first two months, but then he stopped. I hadn’t heard from him in over a month before I decided to leave.
That’s not love to me Trish. I needed him to stay Trish, but he left. Flying was more important to him than being with me. It’s up to him to find his way back to me if he really loves me. I’m sorry Trish, but it’s the way it has to be.” replied Sarah.
“I’m sorry too.” sighed Trish.
15 Nov 2002
La Jolla, California
Sarah knocked on the door to Trish’s house. She had transferred to Miramar, a few miles away. She had stopped in to let Trish know that she would be able to spend more time with Veronica now since they were only a few miles away.
“Sarah ! What a pleasant surprise to see you. What are you doing here?” greeted Trish.
“I’ve been transferred to Miramar. I wanted to let you know.” replied Sarah with a smile. She knew this would make Trish happy.
“Come in dear and sit down.” ordered Trish as she gave Sarah a hug and then bent down to hug Veronica.
“Where are you going to live Sarah?” asked Trish hoping she could convince Sarah to live here with her and Frank.
“Probably in base housing. The have some nice accommodations there. Everything I own in Italy is being shipped to the base.” replied Sarah.
“Nonsense dear, you’ll live here. We have plenty of room. Frank and I would love to have you.” pleaded Trish.
“It’s not an imposition?” asked Sarah not really surprised.
“Of course not dear, it will be perfect. And we’ll get to see Ronnie everyday. I could look after her a couple days a week.” chirped Trish happily.
“Ronnie, would you like to live here with Grammy and Grampy?” asked Sarah.
“You’ll have your own bedroom and the beach is out back. I know how much you love playing in the sand.” added Trish.
“Is this where Daddy lives?” asked Veronica. She hoped she would see him. All she had was a picture of him on a bedside stand.
“When he was younger, but not anymore sweetie.” replied Trish.
“Is he coming back?” asked Veronica. All her friends at daycare had daddies. She wanted her daddy too.
“Someday sweetie, someday he will come home and give you a big hug and kiss.” wailed Trish.
Veronica looked over to Sarah and gave her a look, as to say is that true Mommy? Sarah nodded her head in the affirmative.
“Okay Grammy, I’ll stay here with you. Daddy should find me here.” smiled Veronica. Trish gave her a thank you hug.
“Would you like to see the bedroom you will have Ronnie?” asked Trish.
Veronica said “Yes.” She along with Sarah followed Trish upstairs to bedroom. Inside was a room set up for a small child. It was beautiful. Sarah looked at Trish.
“I had hoped that one day you would come for a visit. I wanted to be ready.” smiled Trish.
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