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Date Posted: 07:53:01 06/01/07 Fri
Author: Gomez Addams ]|[
Author Host/IP: host-69-144-22-143.but-mt.client.bresnan.net / 69.144.22.143
Subject: What I sent. What do you think?
In reply to: Salmonella 's message, "Re: Nokia N95" on 12:37:32 05/30/07 Wed

Dear sir or madam,
I was recently annoyed to see the fine conversation at our lovely abode at the Lurch Files Message Board (located at http://www.voy.com/17027/) was sullied by an unsolicited solicitation tacked up with not so much as a proper introduction, hello, or any such plesantry.
Your brusque message cut right to the chase by shouting "letter of business relationship" across the top, where properly a pleasant hello would have belonged, thus expressing succinctly that you had no interest whatsoever in our socialization or endevours in our modest little corner of the net, but had come purely to the purpose of nailing your wanton request that we part with our money at your beck and call. Believe me, if I were in the market for a cell phone, I would be shopping for one, and I certainly wouldn't be doing so at the Addams Residence. Now, I can appreciate your intention to demonstrate your intentions right off, and not waste time, but you would certainly waste a good deal less of both our valuable minutes were you to refrain from tromping on in, tacking up your flyer and waltzing out. This is not the sort of behaviour we expect at a respectable board like our own.
Furthermore, the garish billboard you so casually tacked to our lovely bespidered wallpaper displayed an abysmal excuse for grammar. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not claiming perfection. I wouldn't doubt there may be more than one spelling error in this very message, as I haven't the time nor the inclination to proofread it, but it is hopefully demonstrative of some degree of clarity and candor.

Your message by comparison:
"We deals on all brands and models of mobile phones such as..."
You "deals on," does you? You would represent yourself as a respectable businessman or woman (whichever you may be, again I've no introduction by which to guess) and someone in whom anyone might be interested in entrusting their hard-earned salary were you to pay a bit more attention than this to the quality of these advertisements.
Following is a haphazard list of brand names, some separated by proper spacing, some not.
"...and as you do you will be glad you do..."
I can say no more about this sort of sentence construction than that it needs to be taken out into the street and shot.

Now good sir or madam, please don't think we're an irksome lot. I've never been one to hold a grudge, so I'll gladly welcome you or anyone in your organization interested in dropping by for a bit of conversation and commiseration. Perhaps we can talk business as well! But until such time as you're fealing a bit more social (by which I mean social in any small degree, really), please vacate the premises.
We look forward to your pleasant company, or your pleasant absence, at your discretion.

Good day!
Gomez

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