THIS was the feeling. Hehehe, I've never been like this with anybody before. No matter HOW hot they were. It just...it doesn't carry the same weight. The same meaning. This electric feeling in my heart could power ten major cities for a year straight if they could find a way to harness it that way. Seriously, I could barely sleep when it came to thinking about him. I had it that bad.
When Monday came around, I hopped out of bed that morning like the house was on fire. I got myself so riled up that I actually found myself upset that it was taking so long for it to be time to go to school already. Now I KNOW I'm going nuts!
I went through the motions, I got to school, I walked through the halls to get to my locker...but I was on complete auto-pilot the entire time. All I really wanted was to catch a glimpse of him. Just a glimpse. Even if it was from the opposite end of a crowded hallway...it would be better than nothing. Maybe I had gotten myself all anxious for nothing, but it's not like I was going to run out of infatuation...so why not burn the fuel like there was no tomorrow?
Every minute that passed without me seeing Colin was one of disappointment. Every second that I had to go without his voice, or his smile, or his cute little habits and gestures...seemed wasted. Even my lunch period felt mundane and unimportant. Even more so when Joey showed up with a sack lunch at the cafeteria table and the same predictable smile that I had seen a million times before. I didn't mean to suddenly get frustrated with his intrusion on my quiet thoughts of Colin, but...I was.
I feel as though I'm being unfair to Joey sometimes. It's not his fault. It's not like Joey is a bad person or anything. He's not. But...being honest with myself...I got more of an emotional rush out of getting Colin to accept an invitation to hang out some time than I did from a whole week of having hot, steamy, sex with Joey. I just...I might have found a way to enjoy it more and give myself over to Joey if Colin had never entered the picture. Once your heart has truly been filled with that feeling...that glorious, untapped, level of euphoria...nothing else can imitate it ever again. Substitutes need not apply. All this...and Colin hasn't given me so much as a kiss on the cheek yet. What does that tell me? Like I said, the only thing more incredible, more orgasmic, than the few moments I spent with Colin so far...is the promise of what may come in the future. What would it be like...to drown in these intense sensations of love and completion each and every single day of my life?
Hehehe, it tickles just to think about it sometimes.
"Hey, can I come over tomorrow?" He asked me after taking a bite out of an apple.
"For what?" I asked. It was absentminded of me, but...I was barely 'present' the whole time we ate lunch together.
"You know for what. Hehehe! Come on, let me come over. Just for an hour or two. I feel like it's been a while."
I considered it. I really did. To be honest, I could use some stress relief right now. And when I thought about it, it had been a while since I've had some really good sex. The idea of being all tangled up in Joey's arms and legs for a few hours sounded really good to me. I said, "Um...yeah. I don't think I've got anything going on tomorrow. Why not?" I looked over at him, and Joey blushed with a grin...his dimples displaying themselves for me as though it was a part of some silent mating dance. I smiled back at him, and he almost started to squirm in his seat.
I didn't have chase Joey down and get him to give me any attention. I didn't have to run out of a library trying to catch him, or ask him twice to spend some quality time with me. Joey could be 'touched'. He was accessible to me and my affections. That counted for something.
So...why do my eyes keep scanning the cafeteria to look for Colin, instead? I don't even think Froshmen are allowed to use this cafeteria. But I kept thinking about him regardless. Where is he? What was he doing? Who was he talking to? Is this a normal thing for people to do when they have a crush, or is this just some kind of insanity that I triggered from a nasty bump on the head that I don't remember?
"Do you want me to bring music. I got some new music and stuff." Joey said.
"For tomorrow. I got some stuff I think you'll like..." He said. He won't though. Joey's taste in music is about as far away from my own as it can be without falling off the end of the Earth. And yet, he keeps trying to convert me.
"Yeah. That's fine." I said. "Bring whatever. I think I'll have the house to myself until about six, so we'll have some privacy."
"Awesome! Can't wait. I miss you, Russ." He said. I think he was trying to be sentimental, but it didn't come off that way. It was more like, 'I'll see you, we'll hug, we'll kiss, we'll get naked, we'll fuck, and then I'll go home happy'. Not that I didn't need the release. I really really needed the release! I just...had more of a conscience about it now than I did before.
Sex is much better without conscience.
At least I'll get something out of the deal. That's cool, right?
Joey and I left the lunchroom, and I was going into the library to reserve a video room for next week's history assignment. I hope a week would be enough time in advance to get the equipment and video I needed. I sort of procrastinated until the last minute on that one. Something most high school boys do, and end up as a part of the mad dash to get it done in time. Just once, I'd like to be ahead of schedule on things.
I didn't expect Joey to follow me in there, considering it was sure to make him late for class, but he did it anyway. Trotted right in behind me like a loyal puppy. Heh...that could be cute too. Joey can be cute. Big goof! Hehehe!
And then...the crash.
It should be no surprise to see Colin in a room with a backdrop of library books behind him. I had to wonder if he did anything else with his time. Still, just seeing him there brought a fire to my heart just the same.
I wasted no time in walking over to say hello. Those bright green eyes of his met mine and I was immediately floored by the subtle beauty of him as a whole. I saw him smile, and I said, "You've been quite the elusive today. What, have you been avoiding me all day?"
That's when Joey stepped forward and stared down at Colin, saying, "Yeah! You been avoiding us, pipsqueak?" He said it almost in a menacing way, causing Colin to give him a weird look and take a step backwards.
There was a brief silence between the three of us, and I said, "Umm...no, Joey. It was a 'joke', dude. I'm just...I'm joking."
Joey quickly straightened up, "I knew that. Me too. Just joking, kid."
I nearly started to snicker out loud from the way Colin's little brow frowned up and he stared at Joey as though he had a live duck sitting on his head. Hahaha! But he just ignored the sudden assault, and turned to talk to me instead. "I got behind on some of my homework this weekend so I skipped study hall and I've been trying to catch up. That's all. Plus I had to sign up for a video review room too, so..."
"Really? For what class?"
"History." He said.
"That's weird. That's what I'm here for." I said.
"You'd better hurry then. I think there are only a few spots left for next week." He told me, and I started to walk over to the front desk to get my name on the list while I still had a chance. Colin and Joey came with me, and when I asked Colin what project he had coming up, he mentioned the same assignment that I was working on. "Oh, yeah...I'm taking a few advanced classes too. So...that's why. I guess I'm kind of a history buff too."
"I never heard of an advanced history class before. That's a new one on me." I said.
"Well, I pick things up rather quickly, I guess. I'm freaky that way." Colin smirked. "I suppose you could say that history are my academic comic books. They're pretty much the same thing, you know? Amazing stories that people felt needed to be told. gotta love that, right?"
I was happy to see Colin being a bit more talkative today. A bit more cheerful. I liked it.
But Joey, always the competitor, gave me a playful push. "You hear that? He thinks history class is like comic books! What the heck is that about? Right? I mean...right?"
I swear...Joey could just be plain embarrassing sometimes.
But Colin kept up a smile, regardless. He said, "Well, history is an awesome way to just reach back into time and see where everything we think and know and believe came from. It's fascinating to think about how long we've been around, and how recent most of our convenient technologies and stuff are. Like...what did people even do twenty years ago, you know?" Joey was already beginning to tune him out and look elsewhere around the room. But Colin told him, "It's full of a lot of interesting facts and stuff too. You wouldn't believe some of the stuff I found out. Like...did you know that the word 'gullible' has never once been printed in the English dictionary?"
Joey frowned up immediately, and I had to give Colin a bit of a sideways look myself. Joey said, "What? That's ridiculous. It's in the dictionary."
Colin shook his head. "Nope. There was some kind of dispute about the spelling of it, and it's never been settled. So they refused to add it to the dictionary. You can look if you want, it's not in there."
Joey said, "I call bullshit. It's in there. I'll prove it! You wanna bet on it?"
Colin said, "No need. I already checked. It's true. See? That's why you need to know your history lessons, dude."
Determined, Joey told me to hold his backpack for him and said, "We'll see. I'll be right back." And then he walked away to the far side of the library while I kept his bag on the table next to me.
After a moment or two, Colin looked at me...and he giggled quietly to himself. He said, "Wow. Omigod...he's actually going over to the dictionaries to look it up..."
I said, "That's Joey, I guess." But then I turned to Colin and asked, "That's not really true, is it? I mean...'gullible' is in the dictionary, isn't it?"
"Of COURSE it's in the dictionary. It's a usable word with a definition. It has to be in the dictionary." He chuckled.
Snickering myself, I said, "You sneaky little devil..."
"Well, *I* didn't know that he was actually going to go over there and check for it!" He said. "I mean...he does know what the word 'gullible' MEANS, right?"
"Hehehe, apparently not." I said, and when Colin's eyes met mine, we couldn't help but to share a quiet, 'library volume', laugh over the whole thing.
"Joey...uhhh...he seems...'nice'." Colin said.
"He is. He's a good guy." I told him. Colin gave me a look, and I was like, "What?"
"NOTHING! I didn't say anything."
"You gave me a look."
"What look? I said he was nice!" Colin giggled.
"You said he was nice, and then you gave me a look."
"It wasn't a 'look'. I swear. He's...Joey seems...'nice'. What do you want me to say?"
"Whatever." I smiled, and we both looked on as he went through the books on the shelves in front of him.
I think Colin's conscience got the better of him as he saw Joey flipping through pages, and he said, "I'm sorry, dude. I wasn't trying to be cruel. I mean...I was just joking. He said he was joking, so I was...you know...I was joking too." He seemed to feel a little bad about sending him on a wild hunt like that. "I should tell him."
"Nah, let him look." I grinned.
"Don't be mean!" Colin smirked. "I feel really naughty right now for doing that. That's not cool."
"It's fine. Joey will feel much better if he gets the chance to prove you wrong." I said.
"Hehehe, you're bad, Russ. Honestly."
And then it happened. A moment of contact. Not just through the eyes, but an emotional 'click' as the two puzzle pieces came together and seemed to fit just as nature intended. Colin and I shared a moment that might have only been a few seconds to the rest of the world...but for us, it was eternal. For us, it was magic.
"A-HA!!!" Joey said, being shushed by the librarian for his outburst. He proudly marched back over to where we were standing, and showed Colin the open book. "You see??? It's right here! 'Gullible'! 'Na´ve. Overtrustful. Easily deceived. Exploitable. Impressionable.' I told you it was in there."
Keeping a straight face, Colin leaned in and looked at the page. "Well, I'll be...it is in there. This must be one of the newer, updated, editions of the dictionary then. They must have fixed it. I guess you got me, Joey."
"Damn right!" Joey smiled. I mean...really? He still doesn't get it?
"You were right. I was wrong. I can be big enough to admit it." He's really playing this up, isn't he?
"Well, maybe if you stopped being a history nerd and read more of your little comic books...you'd know things." Joey said.
Colin stared blankly. "I...ummm...I have no idea what that means." Hahaha, yeah, neither did I. "Well, I've gotta run. I'll...see you guys later. K?"
And with a secretive wink, Colin went on his merry way. And I missed him already. God, did I miss him.
Grinning to myself, I practically had to pat Joey on the shoulder for his high maintenance 'detective work' to get him to stop bragging before I started cracking up and blowing the whole joke. I didn't want Joey to feel bad, I just...hehehe...I thought it was kind of funny. Only Colin could make me laugh like this. Big weirdo that he is.
I can't say that thoughts of sinking myself deep into Joey's ass tomorrow afternoon, sucking one explosive orgasm out of him after another didn't stick with me. As much as I loved Colin for everything he was, and as excited as I was for Wednesday afternoon to come along...I didn't break off my 'appointment' with Joey. If anything, my growing infatuation with Colin made me hornier than ever. And Joey was exceptionally talented in taking care of that immediate need for me. I was actually looking forward to it. Excited even. I lusted for the taste of him. And it was so easy...you know? So very easy.
But I can't deny that my heart was elsewhere. And I know who had it. Right there in the palm of his hand. Even while I was planning my next meaningless encounter with Joey.
Maybe I was the one who was 'gullible' in all this mess....
[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]
Forum timezone: GMT-6|
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.