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Date Posted: 01:45:38 12/14/14 Sun
Author: Cirrus
Subject: Hey Com, question about Dizzy and pronouns...
In reply to: Comicality 's message, "(S) "Billy Chase 384" ((DOUBLE SIZED CHAPTER!!!))" on 12:42:30 12/10/14 Wed

Billy was swapping back and forth between male and female pronouns when it came to Dizzy - which I presume was a deliberate decision on your part to illustrate Billy's confusion over Dizzy.

It got me a bit curious. I kind of wondered if I was in Billy's shoes - would I swap back and forth, or would I think of Dizzy as one gender or another.

I guess it felt like the execution didn't *quite* pull off the idea you were going for. When you were swapping back and forth from sentence to sentence in the same paragraph, my initial thought was "Wait - does Com remember which gender this character is supposed to be?". Billy did mentally correct himself - which seemed plausible, but it came after a paragraph where he seemed completely unaware that he was thinking of Dizzy as a boy one moment, and a girl the next.

Perhaps the effect you were going for would have worked better if you had written the first paragraph referring conistently to Dizzy as "he" / "him", the second paragraph as "she" / "her", then Billy correcting himself back to "he" / "him".

I really like that you tackled the issue though. Dizzy is an interesting character.

Poor Robin. I think its all going to end in tears. And Billy knows so many other single and pining gay boys. :(

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