Create a New Forum Owner Login Contribute & Create Your Member account VoyUser Login (see contribute) VoyForums Directory/Categories No-ads: Completely remove ads from your forum VoyForums Homepage VoyForums News Help Desk VoyForums Exchange FAQ - Frequently Asked Questions Search VoyForums

I think I must have been rattling myself to pieces with bad thoughts when lunch time rolled around. It must have been pretty visible on my face, because not even my usual flock of daily 'hecklers' bothered to tease me today. I guess they took one look at me and figured that I was already punishing myself beyond anything that they could do to me. So why bother, right? I can't tell you what a relief it was to feel a gentle hand on my shoulder that day as I sat in the courtyard, eating a stale sandwich and a bag of corn chips.

Tanner looked more incredible than ever when I looked up and saw his smiling face looking down at me. It was a definite surprise, and I was overjoyed to just have him near me again. It felt like some kind of concrete fantasy. But he was here, and I doubt that my smile could spread out wide enough to show my appreciation.

"Hey!" I said in surprise. "I thought you had your lunch switched for that...monitored study hall thing?"

"I did." He said with a shrug of his shoulders. "I ditched. I figured...what the hell can they do to me? Give me more detention? I don't think I have room on my daily schedule for any more punishment. So I guess they'll be stuck as to what to do with me at this point." He gave me a warm smile. "To be honest, it's kind of a liberating feeling."

"How did you know I'd be here?"

Tanner came to sit down beside me. "Lucky guess. I know you come here to be alone when things are bothering you."

"You know me well."

"I'd like to think so. Besides...I wanted to see you. It's been weird to think about you all day and not get to see your smile. At LEAST once or twice a day. It kinda 'aches' inside, you know?"

I looked him in the eye, and was actually able to work up a half way decent smile. "Yeah, I know. Believe me."

He smiled back at me, and for that golden moment...everything felt 'just right' again. Then he giggled and said, "Look at you...you wanna kiss me right now, don't you? Hehehe!"

"Oh GOD, yes!" I laughed.

"Well, if you come over after school, and finish up your paper for class a few minutes early..." He smirked wickedly. "...We can lock the door to my room...maybe get comfortable..."

I bit my bottom lip, "And you'll give up a little milk and honey?"

"Hmmmm...maybe. If you're good."

I nodded, "Oh I'm good. I'm the best." He smiled, and leaned over to rest his head on my shoulder for a second or two before reaching around me for my lunch bag. "What are you doing?" I asked him.

"I just wanna see what you've got in there. That's all."

"Why?"

"Because..." He said, and my smile got him to confess. "...Because I can't go to the cafeteria...I'm ditching. You wanna share?"

I raised an eyebrow, and told him, "Sighhh....fine. But don't make a habit of this. I'm tired of carrying you, Tanner." He burst out laughing ad I instantly joined him. "Poor people are like dogs, you know? If you feed 'em, they just keep coming back."

"Just give me some of your sandwich, bitch!" He said, grabbing the bag.

"I've got your 'sandwich' right here, sweetheart!" And we playfully tussled around a bit before I gave in and split my lunch right down the middle with him. Hell, I would just be eating for the sake of apearances anyway at this point. Just being near him again...it was like I wasn't hungry anymore. My body had just what it needed. Endless energy, like magic. And despite all the bullshit surrounding us today...lunchtime ws ours. All ours. Nobody could take that away from us. How awesome is it to know that you have something that survives even the most intentionally evil attacks? That defies any and every force working against it? It's such a religious experience to look into those eyes and know, beyond all doubt, that this is what I want. And I've got it. I've got it right here in the palm of my hands, and I never have to let it go.

Yeah....lunch time was.....good.

I don't think that Tanner had to suffer any additional consequences for ditching that study hall today. They probably didn't even care to take attendance. Most of that 'monitored' and 'mandatory' stuff is more bark than bite anyway. All hype and empty threats to scare us into showing up. Hehehe, maybe Tanner and I can just walk out one day and find ourselves a nice private place to screw like jack rabbits until the final bell rings and then go home like nothing happened. How's THAT for extracurricular activities?

I got on the bus at the end of the day, and was surprised to find myself with a grin on my face. I had actually made it an entire day without a single trip to academic hell, and while I thought about possibly finding Chris and thanking him for lifting his ban on me and my activities, I didn't. The last thing I wanted was to jinx his sudden unexplained kindness. For all I know, he had just let it slip his mind today, and would immediately put the whammy back on my already oppressive schedule. But...if it WAS just some random act of forgiveness, then I was forever grateful for it.

Tanner had to stay after school, as he didn't seem to be as lucky as I was in avoiding Chris' wrath. But I'd still get to see him later on. If I could finish up that History paper for Mr. Hamlin really fast, then I get to suck on those sweet lush lips of his for the rest of the evening until it's time to come home again. Tanner and I having the privacy for a little naughtiness eery now and then is one of the only major perks I get out of having his mother despise me so much. The further she stays away from me the better, especially when I'm doing inappropiate things with her precious little boy! Hehehe! Put THAT in your martini, barraccuda face! I can't wait. I'm gonna rest up for a few seconds, grab a can of soda out of the fridge, and head right back over to Tanner's place just as soon as he lets me know that he's on his way home.

I wish that I could say that everything went along just that easy. But it didn't.

A car slowly pulled up beside me as I was walking home from where the bus dropped me off. And the back seat window rolled down, Chris leaning his head out. "Hey there, Slug. You're looking awfully cheerful. You must have had yourself one hell of a really good day, huh?" This wasn't going to be a 'pleasant' run-in, I could tell. I could hear it in the tone of his voice. I could see it in the especially smug tilt of his grin. So much for him being 'kind'.

"Hey, Chris..." I said, still walking forward as his driver kept a steady pace beside me.

"Awww, now you were looking soooo happy a second ago. Now you see little ol' me coming by, and your smile magically disappears. Go figure." He said. "If you keep this up, you're liable to hurt my feelings, you know that?"

"What do you want, Chris?" I said, my hopes severely dashed over him leaving me alone once and for all. I just wanted to walk that last block and a half to get home. That's all.

"What do I 'want'? Hehehe, I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to see your face brighten up when you saw me again...just like it did when you saw Tanner at lunch." Shit....how the hell does he find this stuff out so quickly? I glanced over at him briefly, to see an evil smile on his lips as he shook his head. He knew that he had caught me red handed....again. "You've been breaking the rules, Slug. And breaking the rules means more punishment. You're going to learn to respect this little game of mine, you know that right?"

"There IS no game, Chris! Why can't you just fucking leave us alone! Haven't you had enough of your childish little temper tantrum yet?"

"Had enough? Hell no, Slug! I'm just getting started!" He told me, and I sped up my pace as I saw my house in the distance. "Now...since Tanner didn't show up to his study hall like he was supposed, I'll just have to find a more 'secure' way of keeping him put. That's something I'll deal with in time. But you? I've got 'special' plans for you, my friend."

I stopped walking at that point, and with an evil look, I approached the car window and looked him right in his smug little FACE. "You wanna know something, Chris? All of this energy and this effort to keep us apart...it's not gonna work. It's NEVER gonna work! Do you wanna know why? Because we have something together that you could never understand. You couldn't BUY it, you couldn't FORCE it, you couldn't even CHARM it out of me. And you can't BULLY it out of me either. I don't love you. I am NEVER going to love you! And if you think that a few computer tricks and some long hours in detention is going to change anything, then you're even more pathetic than I thought!" I said, hoping that it would hurt. Hoping that it would do the kind of damage that I needed it to do. From the way his smile faded and turned into a hurtful sneer of anger....I'm thinking I made contact. "Your so-called 'love' is a joke, Chris. And at the end of the day, I'd rather truly be in love with someone I never get to see, than to be seen with someone that I could never love. Believe me...you're just wasting your time."

I walked away from the car as Chris sat there in silence, gnashing his teeth together as the sting of it infiltrated every part of him. Then he told his diver to put the car in park and just wait for him right there. I was almost on my front lawn when I heard the car door slam shut, and Chris yelled out to me. "HEY!!! We're not fucking FINISHED yet!"

I turned to face him, at my very limit with everything he had done to me and my boyfriend. If I didn't stand up to him now, he'll just keep getting worse. And this has to stop now. "What are you gonna do, Chris? What could you possibly do to me that would make me feel any differently about you?"

"I couldn't give a SHIT how you feel! This isn't about you! It's about ME!"

"I know it is." I said. "It's always about you, Chris. From the very first time you kissed me. You're so used to getting your way, so used to having people bend over backwards to make you happy, that you never developed the capacity to care for somebody other than yourself."

"I cared about you, and what did it get me?"

"It got you a good friend who really believed that you were more than just some spoiled little rich kid with a permanent chip on his shoulder." I said. "A friend who liked you so much that he was willing to hide the most important thing in his life from you in order to spare your feelings."

He paused for a moment, but he was still hurt. Still angry. And he wasn't about to let me off the hook that easy. "You know, you really have perfected the art of bullshit. You really have. But you wanna now something? You had my heart. You had it, and you fucking stomped all over it while you and Tanner went off to kiss and cuddle and laugh behind my back! That's cool, I was a sucker for ever giving a degenerate piece of poor ghetto trash the time of day anyway." He said, stepping closer to me. "But guess what? My heart is MINE again. And since I don't have the 'capacity to care' about anybody, I'm gonna stop playing little baby games with you, and turn the heat up on you and your boyfriend. How's that?" He said. "The gloves are off, faggot! I want you to come over to my house, TONIGHT! Seven o'clock, and not a minute later. Wear something nice. Whatever goes for 'nice' in your particular price range." He said. "If you're late, I start making phone calls. A different student every five minutes that you're late. And I let them know just what you and Tanner have been up to behind closed doors. If you don't show...and I call Patrice and Norman, and give them a nice little story for the school newspaper about the proud new gay couple roaming the halls. And that's just for starters."

"Chris! This isn't FUNNY anymore!" I shouted.

"Heh! You're damn right it isn't funny! Things don't really get funny until me and my locker room buddies go for a couple of burgers at your MOM'S greasy ass little diner! I'm sure she'd be very interested to know why her bouncing baby boy was so infatuated with another boy at his new school. Or why he spends so many weekends at his house. I'm sure she'll be fine with having a queer son. She seem's like the type who wouldn't feel like she wasted all of that money she spent to send you to school with the rest of us. Who knows? She might even buy herself a rainbow pin to match the grease stains on her apron."

I tried to stand strong, but Chris could already see the quiver of fear in my eyes. He could already see the weakness spreading as my breaths got short, and my hands began to tremble. "How can you be so damn heartless, Chris? To ME?"

"You're the reason I'm 'heartless' in the first place, sweetheart."

"I'll deny it. I'll tell them you're lying."

"I'll tell them I'm not." He grinned. "I already told you...you're credibility is shot. And juicy rumors never go away, Derrick. Not ever." He told me. "You don't seem to understand...there are people in that place that are praying for your downfall. They can't WAIT to get a hold of something like this."

"Why???" I said, my voice shaking as the fear crept even deeper into my spirit. "What did I ever do to THEM???"

"You're not one of US, Derrick! That's what you did! You didn't work to get the opportunities you have. Your mom is a fucking waitress! Your dad is long gone! You live in the suburban equivalent of a roach motel! You can't even keep a nice pair of shoes!" Why was he doing this? WHY? "And after that 'fluke' of an achievement award you got from the school...they're itching to see you humiliated beyond belief. Do you know how HARD some of these parents push their kid to be the very best? At everything? And now, those same kids have to go home to angry mothers and fathers who are constantly reminding them how some poor little ragdoll from the slums made out beter than they did! Oh yes...they are LOOKING to see you embarrassed, my friend!"

"I....I do NOT....live in a fucking 'slum'..." I said meekly my voice almost ready to break. "...And I've got more....HEART, and more brains, and more....DIGNITY...than ALL of you put together! So FUCK you, and FUCK them too!" I said with a sniffle. "I don't care if the whole damn SCHOOL hates me...I'm still smarter than all of them, and I've got the paper to prove it." I said, "And I've still got someone out there who loves me. Completely! Without exception! And when we're naked, and kissing, and holding each other...you're the furthest thing from my mind. So deal with it."

Chris stepped even closer, bumping me with his chest. "You know, you should really be careful what you say to me, Slug!"

"It hurts, doesn't it? Knowing that Tanner can have me anytime he wants, and all you can do is sit at home and cry about it!"

"WATCH IT!" He said, now giving me a hard shove that almost knocked me down.

"What are you gonna do, Chris? Kick my ass? Huh? What's that gonna solve?"

"I doubt we'll ever find out, because it's NOT gonna happen. Not today." Came a voice from behind me, and I saw Joel coming towards us from the house to stand toe to toe with Chris in the middle of the street.

Chris immediately looked him up and down. "EXCUSE me? Does this even concern you?"

"I'd say it does." Joel answered. I found myself backing away as the tension between the two of them got so thick that it was almost hard to breathe. They squared off, face to face, and I was almost afrai to see where things would go from here.

"You know what? You should really learn to mind your own fucking business." Chris said.

"Really? Why don't you teach me, hot shot?"

"Do yourself a favor...turn around, and walk away. Before you find yourself with a bigger problem than you're prepared to deal with."

As far as I know...neither one of them had any trouble when it came to fighting. And I didn't see anybody backing down, or even showing a hint of a desire to. Chances are, the second one of them throws the first punch...they're gonna go at it until one of them simply can't get up anymore. And to be honest, I didn't want to see that happen to either one of them.

"You guys...wait..." I said, hoping to get them to step apart for a second or two. But as soon as I got close to them, they both lightly pushed me back, never taking their eyes off of one another.

"Shouldn't you be digging around in someone's trash so you could eat dinner tonight?" Chris sneered.

"Heh, funny. Yeah, actually I just came back from that. You wanna come inside and have some? Or are you late for your ballet class, sissy?"

"Try Lacrosse, dickwad!" Chris said.

"Oooh, dangerous!" Joel responded, as they both began to circle one another in the street.

"This isn't necessary, you guys! Seriously!" I said. "Joel?" But he didn't even acknowledge me. "Chris?" He was daring Joel to make a move so he could start swinging.

Thankfully, Chris' driver actually started to pay some ATTENTION to what was going on up the street, and honked his horn. It was the only thing to get them to calm down a little bit. Not by much, but enough where they didn't have their fists balled up. "Looks like your magic carpet ride is waiting on you, rich boy." Joel said.

"This isn't finished. Not by a longshot." Chris replied, squinting his eyes in Joel's direction. "You should have stayed in the gutter today, asshole. You would have been better off."

"Yeah? Well if you want to stay 'pretty', I suggest you stay OUT of the gutter from now on, and leave my friend alone. You get me?"

"Is that a threat?" Chris asked him.

And Joel answered, "No, it's not a threat. It's the reason I came out here."

"Can't wait." Chris said, and looked back over to me with a smirk. "Seven o'clock, Slug. Tonight. I'll be waiting. I doubt that I have to remind you what happens if you don't show." Then he hollered back at Joel, "Hey, tough guy? Did your 'friend' here tell you what we were fighting about?" I froze when he said that, and trembled at the idea of Chris exposing me right here in the middle of the street! "Why don't you ask him? I'm sure it'll make for a very 'revealing' conversation." He backed away from the both of us, heading back to his car. "Seven o'clock. Tick tock, tick tock..." He got in, and the car drove past us, turning up at the corner.

"You know...that kid is BEGGING to be put in the fucking hospital, you know that? Next time...I'm not saying a word. I'm just gonna walk right up and knock his head off. I'm sick of playing games with that pretty little faggot!" And there it was....that word again. Indirectly causing the hateful comment to burrow deeper and deeper into my chest. And that's when he said, "What did he mean by that, anyway? What were you two fighting about?" I lowered my eyes, and just picked up my backpack to walk towards the house. "What's going on? Talk to me."

"It's nothing. No big deal. Really." I hid my face as best as I could. He can't know about me. He's not ready to know about me. And I'm not ready to lose a good friend over this. So I swallowed it all, hoping that the fear of being outed before my time didn't show too clearly on my face. Joel gave me a really strange look, and I just kept walking. The faster I got in that house, the better. I didn't want him to ask any questions. I didn't want him to bother with it. I just...I wanted to hide away for a while where nobody could see me. Where nobody would ever find me. I just wanted to disappear.

But I guess I can't do that...can I? Not tonight.

I've got somewhere to be...by seven o'clock...and not a minute later.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

• Awesome -- Jayden, 05:53:06 02/12/08 Tue