I know that Tyler can be rather emotional at times. I know that his heart can be somewhat fragile but he's willing to go that extra mile to go chasing after the boy he loves when he really wants to. I've seen it happen first hand, so I can always see the 'drive' in him when it really gets revved up and starts heading in the right direction. This time? Um...I don't think I've ever seen this particular slump in his shoulders before. This was something new. Something that I don't really think I have the words to describe in a way that would really make sense to anybody else.
It was sad, but not hopeless. Confused. Maybe even remorseful. But not totally miserable. Ryan and I both took a few peeks at one another while we waited for Tyler to give us a clue as to what it was that was bothering him so much. I mean, what could Ariel possibly have asked him to worry him this way? They were both SO immeasurably happy before Tyler came to sit on the edge of my bed. Seriously...what happened?
I sat up, a few pillows behind my back to prop me upright, and Ryan gave Tyler a strange look, asking, "What's wrong? Ty, talk to us?"
With his fingers fidgeting a bit, Tyler said, "I saw Sam and Matt at the carnival yesterday before Ariel and I left for the bus." He squirmed for a few seconds more, and then said, "Ariel talked to them. I mean...like, he actually talked to them! You know?"
Ariel's talked to Sam and Matt before in the past. Not enough to be much more than familiar faces in the halls, but...I know they've talked. I asked him, "Was it...I mean, like did he think that it was super awkward that you guys had a bit of a history together?"
Tyler covered his eyes with both hands and leaned forward. The extended pause told me everything that I needed to know, that little light bulb brightening up in my head as he slowly brushed his blond hair back with a sigh.
Ryan was the only one to say it out loud. "Ariel doesn't know that you three were...intimate at one time, does he?"
Tyler quietly moaned, "What am I going to do? I mean...looking back on things now, I know that whole situation was a mess, but it's a little late for me to just expect that it'll go away like it never happened. You know?" Tyler gave us this really distressed expression, and he said, "I never told him about it because it never came up. Why should it? I was completely focused on Ariel. I feel in LOVE with Ariel. I was hoping that the Matt and Sam fiasco was just some screwed up part of my past that I could move on from."
I said, "Well...you did kinda move on from it, didn't you? I mean, I know that it's still kind of an ordeal to talk to them in the halls sometimes, but that's to be expected. Right?"
Ryan backed me up by saying, "Totally! Ty, you guys had some sex, and it didn't work out the way any of you expected it to. So...it's over and done with. It was over before you were even properly introduced to Ariel for the first time, so it's not like you were cheating on him or anything."
Tyler whimpered, "But...but should I tell him about it? I feel so BAD for keeping this a secret from him, you know? I feel, like...'dirty', you know?" Tyler really seemed to be overwhelmed by his emotions. "You guys know how insecure Ariel can be about certain things. He's going to be so HURT! He really thinks that we were meant for each other."
"Who's to say that you're not?" I asked.
He sulked for another few minutes, and he was like, "I probably shouldn't even mention it to him, should I? I mean...he's starting to ask questions about them. And he's not pushing too hard, but he's starting to ask questions now. I'm going to have to say something to him eventually, Randy. I don't know how long I'm going to be able to avoid the question before I'm forced to tell him what I'm SURE he doesn't want to hear!" There weren't any actual tears, but Tyler made a pretty serious 'cry face' regardless. "He's gonna be so HURT, you guys! Am I fucking up if I tell him? Am I fucking up if I DON'T tell him? What do I do?"
There's a part of me that wants to believe that I'm working with a superior mind and can just give Tyler a simple, foolproof, answer that will work out for him with all benefits and no consequences. I wish that I could tell him that things will be ok if only he did this 'one' thing that I randomly thought up in my brain at the spur of the moment and that he had nothing to fret about. But I didn't. Who KNOWS how Ariel is going to take the news that before he came into his life, Tyler was having super hot threesomes with both Sam and Matt to the point where it almost ruined the relationship for all three of them? That's actually a LOT to take in. Not just for innocent little Ariel, but for anybody! I can't just assume that I've got all the easy answers at my fingertips. I'm nowhere NEAR being that arrogant.
However, I did what I could to calm Tyler down. "Look...it's in the past. If you think it's going to really hurt Ariel that much and screw everything up...maybe you should just leave it alone."
But Ryan looked over at me, like, "What? No way. Ty...you should just come forward and be honest with him. Let him know what happened and get it all over with."
"Ryan...dude." I said. "You know how brittle Ariel's feelings can be about this sort of thing. It took him forever to come even this far out of his shell. If he hears that his sweet and lovable Tyler Jordan had been with both Sam AND Matt, he's going to shrink right back into not being able to look either one of them in the eye for the rest of the school year. Tyler included."
"I know it might suck at first, but it's going to hurt much worse if he tries to keep it a secret. Sam and Matt aren't going to vanish off the face of the Earth, Randy. What if Ariel finds out about it some other way? I think it should come from Tyler."
Tyler was clearly distressed, but he was listening. He told us, "I don't ever want to cause that boy a single moment's worth of pain, you guys. For the first time in my life, I truly feel like I'm a part of a miracle. I've never been so complete. I just want things to keep being perfect. I really don't want to break his heart."
Maybe it was some sort of telepathy that passed between us, but Ryan and I looked each other in the eye and came up with a compromise that might actually help Tyler through this little bump in the road. Ryan nodded. I nodded. And then Ryan said, "We think you should be the one to tell Ariel what happened with you guys. In your own words. You know...the truth."
I added, "But NOT right away! Not during Spring Break. Just...spend the rest of this week just letting him know how you feel. And make sure that he knows how much you love him and want things for the best."
"It'll be like...bracing him for it, you know?" Ryan said. "That doesn't mean it's not going to sting a little."
"Yeah, but at least when you tell him that it's behind you and that he's the one you want to be with...he'll have enough confidence in himself to believe in you."
Tyler mulled it over for a second. "Do you really think he'll believe me when I say that I wish I could take it all back?"
"Sure he will. Tyler, I don't think you know just how crazy that boy gets when it comes to you. I know he seems extremely delicate sometimes...but he won't break. Not when it comes to Tyler Jordan." I said.
"Excuse YOU, Randy! He's THE Tyler Jordan!" Ryan grinned.
"Oh right. I forgot the full title. My bad. Hehehe!"
Tyler sighed. "I wish I could say that I feel totally relieved about all this." Then he looked back atme and Ryan under the covers together, side by side, and he says, "I swear, I don't know how you two make everything look so easy. You guys are, like...invincible."
It caused us both to snicker out loud, with Ryan saying, "Oh SURE! Easy!"
"Yeah. We never have any issues at all. Psh...piece of cake." I smirked. But once Ryan saw my smile and leaned over to kiss me on the cheek, I realized that through all of the rough times we've been through and the screwed up arguments we've had...it really was kind of easy. It might have even been worth it...just to bring us to this very moment. Sitting together in the same bed, helping out our best friend, feeling good. Secure. Alive. Problems aren't as impossible as they seem when love is involved. Looking back, I don't think I'd trade in a single 'adventure' that I've had with the irresistible cutie sitting at my right side. Not a single one.
Ryan was like, "You just make sure that you give Ariel the Spring Break of his LIFE this week, and when he's all huffing and puffing and wiping the sweat off of his forehead with the back of his hand, he'll be so mushy and excited that he won't even care."
Tyler rolled his eyes in the cutest way. "Hehehe, no problem there."
Ryan and I both gasped a little, our jaws dropping. And Ryan said, "I KNEW it! I totally KNEW it! You two sealed the deal, didn't you?"
"Hehehe, that's none of your business..." Tyler blushed.
"Omigod! Look, Randy! They totally did it! I knew Ariel was looking a little wobbly on his legs when I saw him last."
I gave Ryan a little shove. "Leave him alone."
"What? I'm not giving him a hard time. I think that's HOT!"
Tyler was like, "Ryan! Geez! Randy, control your pet."
I giggled, "Well...to be honest, that is pretty hot when you think about it."
I wasn't going to push for details, but with a sly smile, Tyler quietly said, "A lot hotter than you would imagine. Believe me." He was really bashful about admitting that, but proud at the same time. So...penetration confirmed. Wow. Little Ariel has come a long way from barely being able to whisper Tyler's name without crumbling right in front of my eyes.
Ryan happily scooted towards me, his butt bumping me over as well. "Come on, Ty! Get in bed with us and watch some TV or something. Relax your mind."
Tyler said, "Psh, ummmm...no. I don't think so."
"Well, for one thing, I'm pretty sure that you guys are all kinds of naked under those sheets."
"Only one way to find out, cutie pie!" Ryan grinned.
Tyler asked, "Isn't Randy sick? I'm not looking to catch whatever rage virus he's broadcasting over there with every breath. No offense of course."
I faked a really loud cough and used my hands to waft it in his direction while he cringed and got back on his feet to move away from us.
"Hehehe, I'm ok. I think I'm gonna just go back home and let my brain unravel for a little bit. I guess I just needed to talk to somebody about this. Get it off my chest." Tyler said. "Besides, it was climbing into bed with two other boys that got me into this situation in the first place. It's best I stay away from that kind of thing."
Wow...thinking about that...that's really hot too. Sighhhh...
"Suit yourself. But you'll be missing out on a hot time."
"Yeah, I'm sure." Tyler said sarcastically. "But just because I'm laid up with a 102 degree fever, that doesn't mean that I'm having a hot time. I'll see you guys later."
"No you won't." I said. "You go spend time with Ariel and worry about making HIM feel special right now. You can come over and see us later. Right here in our bed. Hehehe!"
Tyler raised an eyebrow. "See us? Our bed? I mean, you guys realize that you're not quite married yet, right?"
I didn't even realize that I was saying it like that. Felt kind of cool. "It's only a matter of time." Ryan said. "Soon, the only thing left to do will be to pay a fee and sign a piece of paper. Hehehe!" He kissed me on the cheek again, and for some odd reason, it just made me squirm with delight to know that he could be so damned adorable without any effort at all.
"If you say so. I'm outta here before you two get all 'Ryan And Randy-ish' with each other." Tyler said.
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