"Just A Few Minutes More"
To say that what I told Lori earlier today was an understatement is a total understatement in itself.
My last few periods of the school day were full of whines and whimpers and full blown tremors of infatuated withdrawal from being unable to connect with Jesse for a majority of my day. I know it sounds silly, but I started thinking about the fact that Jesse actually goes to a regular school, in a regular building, with regular boys like me. Boys who have GOT to see him in the hallways and recognize him for being the dreamiest chunk of boy flesh that has ever crossed their vision! Boys who have probably seen him on YouTube a million times, know his videos word for word, and have developed an intense level of celebrity worship on top of an emotional attachment to everything that he is as a human being. Add to that the fact that he's gorgeous beyond any human language's capability of describing it...and you end up with a serious, life altering, treasure that you don't want to leave unguarded for more than few hours at a time, for fear that it might be lost forever.
Call me selfish. I don't care. He's MINE! I feel the same way that he does about me. I wonder what he's doing right now. I want to call him or something, but I had to wait until school was over. I wish I didn't have to share him with anybody. Nobody at all. It just seems so unfair.
I can't believe that a single school day is THIS friggin' long! What the hell??? Was my average day ALWAYS this slow, or am I just freaking out here?
No amount of huffing and puffing and grunting with frustration would make the noncompliant hands on the clock tick any faster. It ignored the roll of my eyes, the tapping of my fingers and feet, my mental attempts to somehow leap forward in time and FORCE this hellish academic cage set me free for the day. Instead, I had to grin and bear it. And when that final bell rang at the end of the day...I felt that I had been tortured enough to warrant some extended time with my baby.
I think Lori noticed me practically bouncing on my heels beside her locker as I waited for her to get her shit together and take me home before I lost what was left of my patience and pulled a 'Grand Theft Auto' video game move on a school bus!
She gave me a strange look, accompanied with a knowing smirk. "Alright, alright, sparky! Settle down! Geez! I'm sure Michelle is already on the way to the car."
"I'm going insane in this place, Lori! Seriously! I need out! I need out, NOW!" I said.
"This erratic behavior has Jesse-101 written all over it. What the hell did he do you this time?"
With a whine and a fake sob, I said, "He didn't do anything! He's just...he's out there somewhere right now and I can't reach out and touch him like I want to! It's stressing me the fuck out, and can you PLEASE hurry up and get us out of here!"
"Hey!" She said. "Don't be a pest or you'll find yourself walking home, Mister!"
With a sigh, I attempted to contain my excitement a little better. "I'm sorry, I just...I'm trying to figure this chaos out all by myself and I'm always worried that I'm doing it wrong."
"How can you be doing anything wrong? It's not like Jesse doesn't know that you have to go to school just like he does. You're fine. God, your worrying is, like, getting infinitely worse these days."
"It's NOT worrying this time!" I told her. "It's planning and strategy and a sincere effort on my part to be a good match for somebody that I really really care about..." Then, I continued with, "...Mixed with an added dose of heart bursting TERROR! Ok? Happy now?"
Closing her locker, she grinned at me and sighed, "Let's get you all sorted out before you jizz all over the walls of this place. Come on, fanboy!"
I honestly couldn't wait until I was outside so I could pull my phone out and text Jessie just to...I don't know...jut say 'hello' or something! Let him know how much I missed him. Maybe...you know...find out if he totally dumped me for somebody else yet, bringing my biggest fantasy to an abrupt and brutal end. It's always a possibility, you know? What can I say? I worry.
I was staring so intensely at my phone that I didn't even notice Michelle's big boat of a car driving up to collect us until she honked the horn. It had only been a minute...maybe less...but I could already feel my heart breaking. He forgot all about me, didn't he? We got together, we had some sex, and now he's having second thoughts. That's it, isn't it? Shit. I should have waited. Or...no...maybe I should have made a move on him sooner. I probably built up all of these amazing images of what it would be like to give me a blowjob, and I probably didn't live up to the hype. That HAS to be it! I didn't know what I was doing, Jesse! Oh GOD, please give me a second chance! We only had eight and a half minutes to figure each other out. Next time I'll make sure we have more time. More privacy. I just...oh no...please, God, nooooo...
At that moment, Jesse messaged me back! AHHHHH!!! I would have hollered out loud if my breath hadn't gotten caught in the back of my throat!
I read it with wide eyes. He says, "Hiya, cutie pie! I have to pay off a library fine right now, and we're not supposed to use our cellys in school. But I'll write you as soon as I get out of here. K?" And then he added, "I love you! MWAH!!!"
MWAH! Do you see that part? He ay 'MWAH!' That' a kiss! A big kiss from Jesse-101 to ME! Just me! So...back away 'Every Other Boy In The World'! He likes ME now! o there!
"Are you even listening to me, knucklehead? What the hell?" Lori yelled from the front seat.
"WAIT! Hold on a second!" I wailed. I started to put my fingers to work, anxiously texting him back. Just in case he thought I was ignoring him or something. I was like...I said, ummm..."Hi, baby! It's ok! My school is like that too! No big deal! Just wanted to say hi! Love you too! Hehehe!" With a few hearts and a blushing smiley face trailing behind the hyper excited text.
Hehehe, cool! Did I use too many exclamation points? Did I laugh too much? Should I have called him 'baby'? Maybe that was a bit presumptuous on my part. I don't know. Who cares? Hehehe! Write me back! Write back, write back, WRITE BACK!!!
"Seriously, Tristan?" Lori said, feeling a little snubbed at the moment.
"What? No...really, I'm listening. Just...ok, I'm totally not listening. I'm sorry, alright?" I gave her the most helpless look that I could muster, and I said, "Just...I'm gonna put my phone away in JUST a few seconds! I'm just going to wait to see if he responds, then I'll say goodbye...and...and then I'll wait to see if he says goodbye too. Because he always gives me kisses when he says goodbye. And kisses are...umm...they're a good thing." I giggled to myself, feeling my blood rushing through my veins so fast that it was almost nauseating. My heart simply refused to slow down. Not for any reason at all.
Lori sighed out loud. "You know, I'm still super happy for you guys and all, but you don't have to be so..."
"HOLD THAT THOUGHT!!!" I screamed as I got another message from Jesse! Laughing at my outburst and the look on Lori and Michelle's faces made me say, "Hehehe! Sorry. Wow, that was so out of bounds. I'm a little bit psycho right now. My bad. Just...hold on. K?"
Jesse's next message was so CUTE! Awwww, he's like, "No big deal? Just wanted to say hi? What's that about?" Then he gave me a pouty face and said, "I wanted you to be all hysterical and crazy without me today! Now I feel all goofy for stressing over you all day long." With a blushed face of his own.
I wrote back, "Oh no! I was TOTALLY turning into a basket case until you talked to me just now! I swear! MWAH!!! I've been thinking about you so much that I can barely even remember what the heck I did with the rest of my afternoon!" Then I said, "Ummm...I really do miss you, Jesse. Do you think we can talk on the phone? I mean, later on tonight...when we have some privacy?" I was getting so giddy in that backseat that I began to wiggle back and forth, a sickeningly sugar sweet grin spreading out on my lips. I probably shouldn't have said it again...but I did it anyway. "I love you, Jesse. I love you sooooo much!"
I probably should have added a kissy face or a heart or something. Something extra, you know? I really want to drive home the fact that I am so completely, so hopelessly, so utterly head over heels in LOVE with...
"TRISTAN!!!" Lori laughed.
"Hahaha! I'm SORRY! Ok! I'll stop in a minute! Promise! He just...he said something really cute just now! Ok, I'll stop." I said, still waiting for him to answer me.
"You're not smothering him, are you?" Michelle asked.
"Oh dear God, I hope not! Because this is seriously my best attempt at exhibiting any sense of will power right now. I don't know if I could handle anything less."
Lori said, "Out of all the years that I've known you, I don't think that I've ever seen you so immediately broken down by another boy. It's actually quite fascinating, to be honest."
"WAIT!!! Shhhh! He wrote me back!" I said, bouncing in my seat.
"Don't you shush me!" Lori laughed. "Lucky bitch!"
I tried to hold back my compelling flurry of giggles as I read Jesse's message. "Oh wow! Dude, you're giving me a major stiffy in the school library right now! QUIT IT! Hehehe! You're gonna get me tossed out of here for thinking about you all naked and sexy, talking to me while I try to imagine your pretty smile."
My reply, "Who said anything about me being naked? Hehehe!"
His reply, "I always imagine that you're naked when you're talking to me."
My reply, "I'm sure that Michelle and Lori would just LOVE that, right about now! LOL! They're giving me a ride home!"
Jesse sent me a super surprise face smiley, then a blushed one, which made me laugh out loud in the backseat. Then he's like, "Omigod! Tristan, why didn't you tell me??? They didn't read any of this, did they? Hahaha!"
I said, "No way! I don't share my boyfriend with the likes of them!" Hehehe, I can't believe that I'm talking to him again! Oh man, this is SO cool!
He wrote back to say, "Boyfriend. Mmmmm...I love the way that looks on screen." Then he told me to hang on for a second, and he sent me a selfie of him giving me a big wink with his mouth open, that wet, pink, tongue curled slightly to make the most awesomest, most ADORABLE, just....the cutest face EVER!!!! Jesus! I think I'm going to actually pass away in the back of Michelle's automobile over how stunningly gorgeous my sweetie is!
Unable to really form any words to convey what I was feeling at that moment, I just sent an emoji of me laughing until I had tears in my eyes!
He wrote back and said, "Didja get it? I think I have to put my phone away. School's over for the day, but they might confiscate my phone anyway. But I love love LOVE you, k??? I'll call you after dinner! I wanna hear your voice. I miss you."
Reading that sent a tsunami of tingly shivers over my shoulders and caused me to snicker to myself as a novice attempt to contain myself. I thought about it for a second, and I sent him a message that said, "M'kay! I'll talk to you soon. Do NOT get your phone snatched, dude! Pay your delinquent book fees and get home already!"
The pause between replies was so brief, but it felt like an eternity to me. Every last one of them. Just think, the mystery of timelessness revealed in the shared giggles of a couple of teenage boys...falling in love for the very first time. If only that feeling could be put into words, it would be the greatest story ever told.
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