It really isn't easy to pretend that you're not flipping out when you're TOTALLY flipping out!
You don't know whether to breathe heavily or hold your breath altogether. Whether to run away or stay locked in a frozen position of terror. Whether to stare with unwavering adoration, or to bashfully look away before the good vibes take charge and get you to do something truly stupid in front of the boy who's drawn you as close to the ideal representation of true love as anyone else has ever dared. There's no way that I'm going to pass up an opportunity to recognize that as the most exhilarating moment of my life!
Fuck the rest of the world! I LIKE being goofy over my dream boy!
Parker's blush became visible to me before his smile did, peeking his blond head around the door before entering the store. Hehehe, and I can't imagine anything being more adorable than both of them combined as he came down the few steps that led down to that basement floor. "Hey, Kevin." He said. "I hope you weren't waiting too long. I stopped to get a few bear claws from the bakery at the end of the block."
"A few?" I asked with a snicker.
"Yeah. I figured I might as well get you one too. You know...to be nice." He said, his blush turning an even darker shade of pink.
He handed me the bag, and I fought back a few girlish giggles as I opened it up to find a warm apple fritter inside. It smelled so good. "Thanks, Parker..." I sighed.
"You're welcome." He sighed in response.
We might have been staring at one another for about 30 seconds before Gary looked back and forth between us and cleared his throat to break the intense moment. "You guys ok?" He asked with a chuckle. "You want me to turn a couple of fans on or something? Help you to cool down a little bit?"
I swear, if Gary keeps it up, I'm going to end up stabbing him with his own sword!
Parker attempted to straighten up a bit, and he looked a little bit flustered at first. He mumbled, "Huh? We're just...talking. That's all."
Gary raised an eyebrow, and I realized that Parker wasn't fully aware of what was going on here. I smiled and said, "Don't worry. He knows."
Parker's eyes widened. "About US?"
Gary asked, "Wait...there's an 'us'?"
I said, "No! I mean he knows about me being...you know..."
Parker said, "Did you tell him about the kiss?"
Gary's jaw dropped. "There was a KISS???"
Now MY jaw was dropping. "NO!" I said, then hushed my voice. "He...you know, he knows that I like...you know..."
Parker gave me a look of recognition, and said, "Ohhhh! Hehehe, ok. I get it."
Gary said, "I don't! What's this about a kiss?"
"QUIET!!!" I giggled, and I took a hold of Parker's arm to draw his attention over to the newest merchandise on the counter. "Look, GFD Junkyard Lego set! Kinda cool, right?"
Gary was going to give us a thorough interrogation about what had been going on between me and Parker since he had last seen us both, but we were lucky to avoid it by having him distracted by a short line of paying customers. Not that he was going to forget, and he's definitely going to drill me on it later...but he's not going to barge his way into our special day. I may not have a foolproof plan for how this day is going to go, but I'm keeping it a two man show for as long as I can. That's for sure.
I saw Parker looking through some of the t-shirts that I was helping to put away, holding them up against his chest to get an idea of how they'd look on him. "What do you think? 'Halflife And Proud'. Kinda plain, but I like it."
I smiled. "I think everything looks good on you." Yeah, I was flirting. So what? I'm trying to snag myself a full time boyfriend here!
"Oooh! What about this one?" He found a t-shirt that was glaring white, but covered in a bloodstained design, with a rather small 'GFD' logo in the center. "Dude, this one looks awesome. And it's only fifteen bucks? Should I grab it?"
"Hehehe, you already know what I think." I said, and he responded with a bashful smirk.
"I'm totally gonna grab this. I like it. I've got a cap to match this at home too. It'll be perfect." Parker's so damn cute when he's excited.
"HIYAAA!!!" Came a loud voice from over his shoulder, causing him to jump and hold his chest while he tried to catch his breath.
There was Gary, standing there with his damn sword again! "What do you think? Huh? You like?"
Parker was like, "Hahaha! What the hell? Is that a sword!"
"It's a GFD sword! This is the star of today's shipment, if you ask me!" He said.
Parker took a closer look at it, and I told him, "Don't worry. He got me the same way when I came in here earlier."
Parker said, "Well...it is kinda cool looking. I'm diggin' it." Making Gary grin from ear to ear, knowing that he had impressed another fanboy. "Say, what do you think about this shirt? Is it me?" Parker held it up against his chest again. God, he can be so damn CUTE sometimes!
"It's definitely you." Gary said. "Why don't you just ask Kev over here?"
Parker playfully rolled his eyes. "Kevin seems to think I look good in everything."
Gary cackled at the idea. "My oh my, aren't WE the romantic today?" Arrrgh!!! But Gary cut me a break and said, "Come on, I'll ring you up. I'll give you my employee discount if you want. Any friend of Kevin's is a friend of mine."
"Mmmm, kissing you is already proving to be a good investment, babe!" Parker teased. Hahaha, damn. He certainly knows how to give me a bad case of the wiggles...even when he's just teasing.
Gary told him, "You know what would go great with a bloodstained GFD tee? A sword!"
Parker laughed, "I'm NOT buying a freakin' sword, dude! My parents would kill me..." And I saw them walk over to the register. My eyes roamed over Parker from head to toe, almost confused by the angelic beauty of him...wondering if there was some kind of divine purpose for him to be involved in my daily life at all. I mean, there had to be a reason for all this, right? I just never thought of myself as being this lucky. And nothing this grand could be a random mistake, could it?
Damn...I spent all this time wishing and waiting for my dreamy prince to come along...and now that he's here, I have absolutely no idea what to do with him. And I mean, like...NO idea, whatsoever.
Parker purchased the shirt and came back with a plastic bag to say, "So, what's up for the rest of the day? Any ideas?"
I said, "Well, I heard you roll up on your board...do you wanna check out the underpass? Some cool people there. Some good concrete too if you wanna skate for a bit. Is that ok?"
He smiled and told me, "Lead the way. I'm in." Which made me melt inside. We're spending time together! I think that was even more exciting than the promise of a sexual encounter. I yearned to get this super hot boy butt naked and laid back on his bed so I could slide his warm hardness in between my lips and suck him until splashes of hot boy semen were being squirted out across my tongue...but the path to get from 'skateboard park' to 'hot sexual interlude' were still a massive blindspot to me. That was still a bit of a long distance leap of faith for me. Doesn't mean that I couldn't make it if I really HAD to. It just means that I wasn't confident enough to believe that I could do it. Not yet. But hopefully soon.
The sun was shining down with a particular brilliance today. It warmed my face and arms almost instantly, causing me to squint a bit as my eyes readjusted to the light. "Geez, I forget how dark Gary's store is sometimes. I don't really notice it until I'm back out in the daylight again. Hehehe!"
"I know, right? It always takes me a minute or two before I feel confident jumping on my board again." Parker said. Then, he's like, "Speaking of which, hold this for a second, will ya?"
Parker handed me his skateboard and I just sort of took hold of it by its front wheels. I wasn't really thinking about it. But then Parker took his new t-shirt out of his plastic shopping bag and handed that to me too. Suddenly...without any warning whatsoever, Parker reached down and lifted the shirt he was wearing RIGHT over the top of his head! Like...right there in public by the bike rack!!!
I mean, it's Summer time, and it's not all that uncommon for bikers or skateboarders to walk around shirtless from time to time when it was this warm out, but this was seriously unexpected!
GAH!!! Look away! Look away, you perv!
"So...I take it you're 'out' then?" He said, getting closer to me and putting the t-shirt he was just wearing into the shopping bag. Oh God...look at those eyes. Look at those mystical, sky blue, eyes. Wow...
"I'm...I'm...huh?" I couldn't even tell if I was truly paying attention or not. I was too amazed by the SEXY sight of his naked upper torso to focus on much of anything at all.
"Sorry if I embarrassed you in there. I guess I didn't really ask if you were open about that kind of thing or not." He smiled at me, a blush turning his face a bright pink as he searched for all of the sales tags and stickers on the shirt he just purchased. Holy shit...he was so FINE! Such a tight little waist and tiny, raspberry colored, nipples. Also, this boy had some abs on him! And not just the kind of boy-next-door abs that you catch accidental glimpses of in the high school locker room. They were like...defined with these delicate ravioli shaped squares that were rounded at the ends. But they weren't, like...rock hard. More like spongy and soft, despite their proud definition. It's hard to explain, but OH so hot to stare at. "I'm still kinda new at this..." Parker added after hearing a full 30 seconds of silence from me.
"Oh. No. No way, dude. It's ok. I wasn't embarrassed at all." Thank goodness, I was finally able to shake myself free from my lustful trance as he put his 'GFD' shirt on and covered up again.
"Ah, ok. Cool." He said. Wow...that shirt with the bloodstains on it...it hugs him so close. It almost made me jealous to have the clingy fabric of it touching my new potential boyfriend in such an intimate way. Grrrr! "So you told everybody that you were gay?"
Even though my mouth had gone dry, I attempted to keep my cool. "Ummm, not everybody. Mostly my close friends and family. When the 'Gone From Daylight' movie came out...it was kind of hard for me to hide my obsession with it."
"Yeah. Same." He said, straightening up and using his hands to fix his hair. Parker has a really sexy way of fixing his hair. Just saying. I could watch him tease and fluff that light blond mop all day long if I had to. It's especially shiny in the sunlight. "Actually, my mom knows...but my dad? Well, that might take a little bit longer to get that confession ready. I'm working on it though." He said.
"Does your brother, Jason, know?"
"Oh GOD, no!" He gasped. "Every third sentence that comes out of my brother's mouth is some kind of homophobic slur! Chances are, he's going to be the last one in my family to know!"
I said, "Awww, I'm sorry, dude. That sucks."
Parker told me, "It's ok. I mean, he's not going to beat me up or anything. He's just...a little 'slow on the take', I guess. He'll understand someday. I'm just not looking forward to it being any time soon. That's all." He took his skateboard and bag back from me. "What do you think? Does it look cool?"
"You already know what I think." I giggled.
"Oh yeah. Right." He smirked. "Ok, you ready?"
"I am if you're done stripping in the middle of the street." I teased.
"You loved it. I saw ya looking." He teased back. Is my heart supposed to flutter like this the whole time that we're together? Is love going to be like this all time, with me practically having to wrap both arms around myself to keep from shaking to pieces?
"You have a cute belly button." I said, my face turning red while I tried to hide it from him.
"Do I?" Parker lifted up his shirt again and looked down. DAMN, his tummy was sensually delicious!!!
"Showoff..." I said with a playful roll of my eyes. "Come on. Follow me. And don't fall behind."
"Lead the way." Parker said, and soon, we were off in the right direction.
You know...we really weren't skating that fast, but the wind has a way of blowing through Parker's feathery blond locks regardless. It's something that you just have to pay attention to, even at the risk of possibly landing flat on your face because of it. I'm telling you, it's like nature itself was conspiring in his favor, exposing as much of that gorgeous face as it possibly could to the rest of the public. Reminding everyone within sight to remember what true beauty could be, just in case they had forgotten. I almost felt confused by the whole concept of kissing him again. Would I be able to do that? I can hardly believe that it happened the first time. The longer my lips stay disconnected from his...the harder it becomes for me to believe that I'll ever have that kind of courage again.
Don't get me wrong...I feel GOOD! I've never felt so good in my whole life! I just...never expected this to be so awkward. I'm almost too dizzy to keep my balance right now, and I can't seem to even muster up enough 'cool' to fake it. I just have to be careful enough to not make a jackass out of myself. Who knows...maybe I can work my way up to another load-blowing kiss after all.
When we got about a block away from the skater's underpass, I could already hear the familiar clicking, clacking, and gliding, of other skateboards flooding the air around us. It was always like music to me, hearing the area was full. So much better than skating alone. Normally, I would add the unbelievable amount of boy candy as a sexy bonus...but, let's be honest, I've got the hottest boy in town rolling right next to me. So who cares about them, you know?
I guess I had to find out the answer to that question the hard way.
You see, I was already showing off the awesome little skater park when I came to the realization that having the hottest boy in town with me wasn't going to go unnoticed by any other closeted gay boy that might be hanging around for reasons of their own. Seeing boy candy being one of their favorite bonuses too. Seriously, the second I walked through the gate, I started seeing some of the cutest boys ever, tooling around, half of them shirtless, and showing off the best of their skating skills for the rest of the park to see. The paranoid idea of them catching Parker's eye the way they had caught mine quickly began to creep up over my shoulders. Suddenly, everybody was looking in our direction. Of course, Parker was new to the area, so I'm hoping that had a lot to do with it. But the feeling persisted in its relentless distraction. I don't think I've ever really been 'jealous' before. This was new.
"Nice!" Parker said. I thought he was talking about this tanned, shirtless, blond boy that walking past us to get to the drinking fountain. It's the first place my mind went to. "So you guys can skate here whenever you want and nobody makes you move?"
Huh? OH! The underpass! Straighten up and quit being weird! Geez! "Ummm, yeah. It's pretty tucked away from much of anything else, and we don't get bothered as long as we stay out of traffic and we don't tag the place up with graffiti."
"No problem from the police?" He asked me.
"Nah. The cops buzz around every now and then, but it's mostly just to keep an eye out for drug dealers and pedophiles."
"Well there's a necessary service for local law enforcement to provide." Parker snickered.
"Not really. The skater boys around here already know where to find the drug dealers and pedophiles when they need a fix. Hehehe!" I gave him a wink to let him know I was kidding, and he giggled right along with me. "So...you wanna try the pavement out? I'm curious to see what ya got."
"Alright, then. Let's do this!" I smiled as we both put our boards down and rolled right out into the middle of the fun. I'll admit to trying to show off a little bit. Sometimes successfully, and sometimes...not so much. But even watching my board crumble and flip over on the wrong side was something that we could both laugh at when my failed attempts became visible to everyone around us. Something about his stunning smile took all the humiliation out of a failed trick, and I loved him for it. In fact, there were a few moments when we were laughing so hard that we had to hold on to one another just to keep standing. Hehehe, how did I ever cross paths with someone so beautiful? So crazy. So perfect. Everything about Parker amazes me. Literally everything!
Parker was definitely determined to show me some skateboard tricks of his own, but...let me just be honest and say that I was focused on his ASS the whole time! I'm sorry, but it's true. Parker has one of those erotically sculpted 'skateboarder' asses. I don't think any other sport or activity can shape a pair of succulent teenage boy cheeks the way hours of skateboarding practice can. His taut mounds were so mouthwatering that I had to remember to hold my board in front of my lap while focusing on the way he moved. Sexy...and strong. I can only imagine what it must be like to have those skater boy muscles relax for my urgent penetration...only to clutch and squeeze me so tight once I had lodged my hardness deep inside his moist and tender body. It left me breathless to think of making love to him. Geez...I think I need to sit down. The whole park is spinning right now.
I took a seat on one of the benches and pretended to fiddle with one of my shoelaces for a while. But...as Parker continued to skate, I heard some other boy in the park comment on one of his jumps. It wasn't anything too impressive, but Parker hit the landing, so I guess a few boys noticed. This guy was maybe a year older than me, wearing a white, tank top shirt...trying to silently brag about his dumb biceps by displaying them so arrogantly. "Nice swing, bro!" He said. I mean, really? Who the fuck says that? "I like it."
Parker nearly broke my heart when he looked at this jerk and said, "Thanks! I'm still working on it, though!" I couldn't believe that Parker was actually smiling at him! What for? Because he's cute? I'm cute! Why can't he smile at me instead of...him?
Ugh...ok, wait...I'm starting to turn into a psycho here. This is typical skater talk around here. I should just...chill out and stop getting all puffed up about nothing. I'm just gonna sit here and mind my own business. I mean, even if Parker decided to drool all over this bullshit poser...it's not like I could do anything about it. Except sit here and ache over it like a baby.
I cringed as that other boy was like, "You could do a decent hardflip with skills like that."
"I'm still working on those too. But I'm getting better at 'em." Parker told him, my stomach tightening with disappointment and anger in the background. Great idea, Kevin. Bring your brand new boyfriend to a park full of boys that would all be potentially hotter than you.
"Aww, they're not so hard. It's all in your back foot position. The key is to 'scoop' it from the back end. The stomp at the end is what nails the landing. 360's are the same, but you've gotta angle it right. I can show ya, if you want..."
What, are they FRIENDS now??? I was on such an emotional high not long ago. Now I feel like I want to drown myself in the nearest public toilet for being such an idiot. Love certainly makes a bi-polar experience out of life itself sometimes.
I actually sat on that bench and watched another cute boy instruct my dream boy on how to do certain kicks on his skateboard. I felt so impotent. So rejected. Every time that boy made Parker smile, it was like a broken shard of glass being jabbed into the center of my fucking heart. It was like guzzling a mixture of hydrochloric acid and hot sauce. But there was nothing that I could do. I mean, Parker looked like he was having...fun, you know?
What was I going to do? Play the role of the psycho boyfriend and grab him by the back of the neck so he could be all 'mine' again? That doesn't sound like the sane and healthy way to go. Plus...Parker's extremely hot. He could spin around, blindfolded, and choose any hot boy he wants to go home with him. And this guy? He's got boarding scars prettier than I am. At least, that's how I felt at the moment. Just...I want my boyfriend back. ALL of him, not just the parts he doesn't want to share with assholes like...whoever this random boy is.
Then again...*I* was a random boy too when he first met me.
Does this mean he's already found someone better in this new town he just moved to?
Fuck...that would suck...
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