It was hard for me to take my eyes off of him. Something about the
fire light made him look soft to the touch. I got so excited that I
practically had to hold my knees together to keep them from knocking
I sure didn't want to spook him none. Even with a goofy grin, I
must have looked all off center...mad doggin' him in the eyes the way
I was doin'. I looked down at his hands instead, and his fingers were
long and thin...even his knuckles was smooth as I don't know what. It
didn't help me to feel no better.
"So...I reckon you must like struttin' around in the
dark the way you do." I said, my voice a little higher in pitch
than I wanted it to be.
"I guess you could say that I find it peaceful." He told
me. His voice was like rays of sunshine on a cold morning, I tell
you. Just sitting next to him had me too tangled up in the belly to
think straight, but I didn't want him to leave here tonight without
having a better impression linger than I did last time.
"You ain't scared? It being so dark out and all?"
Colby said, "Way I remember it, the real monsters come out
during the day. Every last one of them, wearing a smile."
"Hehehe, well, can't argue with you too much on that one. You
ought to see our mayor. They say if Mayor Jonz smiles at ya, then
you've already been stabbed in the gut twice." I said, but
quickly stopped myself. "Oh wait...you ain't no kin to Mayor
Jonz, are you?"
He grinned. "Can't say that I am." Thank goodness. Here
I am trying to get nice with Colby, and I end up making a mess of
myself. "I like the night time. It's quiet. It's still. Nobody
to bother you much. Just...time alone with your thoughts. Secrets
whispered up at the stars, wishin' one of 'em would answer back."
Lord Bless, I sure like hearing Colby talking like that. His voice
gets all dreamy, and his lips looked like they were getting softer by
the minute. If I could get him to kiss me, just one time, I'm sure
that I'd melt all over the place.
I felt myself getting a bit stiff in the pants and tried to keep
him distracted so he wouldn't notice. "So...I ain't seen you
around town much. Place ain't all that wide that we couldn't cross
paths every now and again."
As Colby's fingers brushed some of his long hair out of his eyes,
I found myself having to fight off a warm shiver. "I don't get
into town all that often. I pretty much keep to myself."
"Oh. Alright." I said. "So...I reckon you must live
around here somewhere. Right? Where abouts?"
He pointed out into the darkness. Way out.
"Out there?" I asked. I thought maybe he was tossin' me
a bad one. "Hehehe, well, ain't nothin′ out there but
mountains and rattlesnakes. Not too safe a place to be laying your
head at night. Especially once the coyotes catch the scent on ya."
Colby grinned a little bit, but only to be polite. Maybe he wasn't
kidding after all. He said, "We do alright for ourselves out
there, my friends and me."
"Oh? So you got some other folks with ya then?" I almost
felt disappointed. Maybe even jealous that other people got to spend
time with him that I didn't.
He nodded. "Two friends. Tucker and Ahote. We've been knowing
each other for a long time. We stay put for a little while, and
then...try to figure out the best time to move along before we get
ourselves into too much trouble."
I smiled, "Awww, Colby, I can't see you being too much of a
handful." I musta turned redder than a sunburned fox when I said
it, but I had no plans of taking it back. As much as I still felt
awkward about everything that was going through my head at that
moment...I couldn't deny that Colby was just about the prettiest boy
I had ever laid eyes on. I ain't never felt the shakes so bad as I
did when I had him sitting next to me. He was an angel, illuminated
by firelight. And the very sight of him turned me inside out.
He giggled bashfully, the vision of his joy bringing a sense of
chaos to my stomach. "You might be surprised, Deacon. I can be
all sorts of trouble if you're not careful. Maybe even more than you
"I don't know about that. My daddy's the top law man 'round
here, and I ain't fall too far from conception, so I've got his
smarts. Sure enough." I said proudly.
However, when Colby heard that...some of his joy seemed to leak
right out of him. "Oh...is that so? Sheriff?"
"Yep. He's the one running the show in this town." Don't
quite know why I thought bragging about it would win me some points
with this pretty stranger, but I didn't know what else to talk about.
Bad enough, my tongue felt like it was tripping over itself as it
was. "Right now, he's on the trail of something fierce.
Something that's been feasting on the good townsfolk and running off
into the night without so much as a trace."
There was a pause...just as Colby picked up a stick and started
poking at the fire some. "Does he think he knows what it is
yet?" He asked.
"Heck, I dunno. I reckon there's a lot of things lurkin'
around in the dark out there. Way I see it, it must have been some
kind of wild animal. Maybe even some kinda monster." I
saw Colby's eyes lose a little bit more of that glitter they had just
a moment ago. He lowered his head, and says to me, "How do you
know it's a 'monster'? Maybe...maybe it's just another fella. Just
like you. Maybe he got hungry and couldn't quite make it another
evening without making a quick fix out somebody."
"Naw, I can't see that." I said. "These people that
got done in...they was good people. Stand-up people. Ms. Samson, in
particular. I can't imagine a normal fella in their right mind would
hurt good folk like that without a squirt of guilt gnawing away at
'em, night and day."
Quietly, Colby stared deeply into the fire, his eyes glowing with
the flicker of the flame. He says, "It's easier than you might
reckon it is. You just don't think about it once it's in motion. You
turn that part of your thinking off...and you pretend it ain't
happening. That's all." I noticed a look of sadness on his face
and figured it best to keep my trap shut, lest I make him feel any
worse. This wasn't how I was planning for things to go tonight. Colby
was quiet for a minute longer, and when he looked back up at
me...something strange caught my eye. Maybe it was the fire or
something, but the little rings in his eyeballs lit up in a way that
didn't quite seem natural. Same as those coyotes out there on the
borders of town. It frightened me a little bit, and I didn't realize
that I was holding my breath until he turned those bright specs away
"I should probably get going..." He said out of the
blue, and immediately...my heart went into a full blown panic.
As he stood up on his feet, I popped up twice as fast. "Well,
hang on a minute..." I said, reaching out to grab a hold of his
wrist before he up and vanished on me like he done before. Bad thing
is, I wasn't really thinking about the fact that I had to actually
hold on to him with my bare hand to do that.
Lord BLESS...the bolt of lightning that shot through me when I
really got to touch him for the first time! The second he looked down
at my hand, I turned him loose like the softness of his baby smooth
skin had burned me good.
"I'm sorry..." I mumbled. I could hardly keep my breath,
but I just didn't want him to leave yet. Not just yet. "You can
stay a while, can't ya? I mean, no need for you to go trotting off
into the dark all by yourself, right? Sit. Let's talk some more."
Colby gave me a grin, but it was about the saddest grin as I ever
seen. "I can't stay, Deacon. But...as long as you keep this fire
lit for me, I'll come back and see you. Night after night. For as
long as I can. Is that alright?" He asked me, and I just about
sprung a leak in my knickers when I heard him say that.
"You'll come back tomorrow? As long as I light the fire for
"Yes. I give you my word."
Feeling super excited about the idea, I busted out with, "Ok!
Then you can expect me to leave this fire burning for ya every night
from now on. You can bet a gambler's mint on that." I began to
giggle uncontrollably, but covered my mouth, bouncing about on my
heels so as not to look too fired up over another boy. Still...can't
say I've ever felt so at home with another fella. Can't say I've ever
felt this flippin' crazy about another person, period. I think
I like it!
Colby seemed to get a little bit giddy himself, and with a bashful
chuckle of his own, he says, "Well...I'll keep my eyes open
then. Maybe I'll come back tomorrow night. Once the moon gets
"To look me over again?" I asked. It was brazen and
downright itchy of me to say it out loud, but I took my chances,
anyhow. "Because, I think...I think I like looking you over too,
Nothing but the wind between us, Colby stepped a little closer.
"Really? Do ya mean it?"
"More than anythin', I mean it." My whole body started
to tremble, and I could hardly speak as he took another slow step
closer. "You...you sure are 'pretty', Colby."
"You ain't so bad yourself, cowboy..." He said. His
voice could be so soft. So mesmerizing. Every word was a song of its
own. And then, just as I was about to find a better way to hide my
'bump in the front' from his hypnotic eyes...Colby did the
unthinkable. He leaned forward, and even though I was a whole bundle
full of worms and wiggles...I was too worked up to run away.
Confusion was most of what I felt, waiting for his pursed lips to
connect to mine. This wasn't right. There was nothing right about it.
Hell, must have looked like a fella kissing a horse. It was
unnatural. Nobody 'round these parts would even consider such of
thing was possible. And yet...when he kissed me, the part of me that
figured this whole situation for being something against the Almighty
stayed anchored to the dirt...while the rest of my spirit was lifted
up into the clouds. Who knew a fellas lips could be so smooth. Like
the delicate smash of Lady Macabee's warm ice cream. I got to
trembling so bad that I could hardly stand. I needed to hold on to
something for balance, and all I had was Colby's thin hips. My eyes
closed on their own and every other good thing just slipped into
place. It was like...suddenly having a go at something that you
didn't know you wanted SO badly until you got a taste of it. My whole
brain was buzzing with the relentless 'wow' of it all...and I found
myself never wanting to let him go again.
There's no way in Heaven that Sarah Cutler could ever mash lips
with me like this. No way, no how.
Colby let go of me, and he looked into my eyes as his hand rubbed
the side of my cheek. I was damn near about to fall right over, but I
didn't dare break the eye contact. Damn! I know I keep saying it,
but...he sure is pretty...
"I'll be back tomorrow...if you want me." He whispered.
"I want you. I do." I don't know if that sounded whorish
or not, but deep down...if he wanted to go that route, I doubt I'd be
able to stop him. In fact, I might even encourage it.
"Alright then. Til tomorrow." He said, and Colby kissed
me on the cheek, causing me to recoil with a fit of tickles and
giggles that made me feel like a right fool in front of him.
Luckily...he took humor in it.
As he walked off into the darkness, I called out, "Til
tomorrow!!!" Once again. Not to remind him, so much...as it was
a way to let off the pressure of this crazy energy that I had inside.
Squirming around, making me dizzy...smiling from ear to ear like I
just had ten birthdays all churned into one.
I shouldn't be feeling like this...but I can't help it. I felt
like I wanted to dance without music, not knowing the first step, the
last, or any of the steps in between. So the need to dance just
bounced me all around with no outlet, making me nervous and keeping
me laughing to myself. Hell, I had to stay out there by the fire for
another full hour before I was confident enough to put it out and go
back in the house where my daddy was waitin' on me. I was already
worried about him watching me. If I start coming in the house
grinning like a cat next to an empty birdcage...he's sure enough
going to come see what I'm up to with this late burning fire every
night. I didn't want him taking a peek. He'd get rid of me for sure
if he knew that I was playing 'marriage' with another boy like me. I
can't let that happen. Best to keep that all the way under the table
When I went to bed that night, I got so stiff that I tossed and
turned until I realized that I wasn't never going to get any shut eye
until I got these feisty urges out of me. For once, I was thankful
for my Uncle Buster's roof rattling snore grizzlies! It gave me a
little bit of noise to cover what I was doing in my bedroom. I
covered myself up with the blanket again, and I went to sliding my
hand up and down like there was no tomorrow. Thinking about those
lips, that kiss, my hands on his hips...the feel of his breath on my
cheek, the way he whispered when he said he wanted to see me again.
Oh man, I shivered and shaked and squeezed my hindquarters together
hard enough to nearly pull up the bed sheets from beneath me every
time I thrust my hips in the air. I could feel beads of sweat rolling
back down off of my forehead and onto my pillow. I could hear myself
panting desperately as thoughts of laying on top of Colby without a
stitch of clothes on ran all through my mind. It wasn't nothing
dirty, mind you. It was soft...and slow...and intimate. The kind of
passionate grinding you would use to make a baby, if two fellas could
produce such a thing. I swear, I couldn't understand it. I ain't
never heard of anybody feeling this way before. But to me...?
Everything about this felt right, now that we mashed lips. Everything
about this felt divine. Maybe I'm just a different kind of boy, I
reckon. Maybe Colby is too. And if it's just going to be me and him
in this world that share this kind of favor when we get together...
...Well, I'm starting to think that might not be all that bad.
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