I picked up the dirty clothes, I cleared off the dressers, I got rid of anything and everything that could possibly be seen as embarrassing, when it came to my room. I even looked at my posters and stuff to see if there was something that I should take down or replace with something else before Christopher Margo came over to bless my house with his presence!
Jesus Christ! He's actually coming here! Like...HERE!!! What am I going to do? I had this need to make him think that this was the most perfect house EVER, so he'd want to come back all the time! And so he'd go home thinking, "That 'Andrew' kid is pretty cool!"
Hopefully, followed by the inner monologue that said, "God, I wish he would penetrate me!"
I just made myself both horny and dizzy thinking about that!
I need everything to be perfect! Absolutely perfect! Ugh! Why did Johnny invite Chris Margo over to my house without more warning! Cleaning up this much is so EXHAUSTING when you have to do it in a single day!
What do I leave out for Chris to see? What do I hide away? What will he find cool and interesting, and what should I consider stupid and humiliating? I can't remember the last time my room was being 'showcased' like this. Well, I mean, Johnny comes over all the time, but there's no reason to impress him. We're best friends to the point where we're pretty much stuck with each other for life. We go together like syrup and pancakes. But this is Christopher Margo we're talking about here! I get nervous just saying his name in my head...how the hell am I going to be able to deal with saying it out loud, in my bedroom, to his FACE??? His smooth and super pretty, super sexy, FACE!
Goddammit, Johnny...what have you gotten me into?
My mom thought it was odd that I was doing my laundry for no known reason, but seeing as I was doing chores, getting my room cleaned up, not causing her any grief, she didn't dare stop me. In fact, I'm pretty sure that she had a few glasses of wine in front of the TV and enjoyed having the night off. So be it, I guess. I didn't want to have any dirty clothes in my hamper when Chris came over. And no trash in my trash cans. And I vacuumed my carpet with an extra healthy dose of that scented powdery stuff that my mom keeps above the washing machine. Everything has to be super clean and sweet smelling. I even opened my bedroom window and dusted the furniture with the lemon stuff!
Oh yeah, baby! I've thought of everything!
Ok, I think things might be ready for a visit from the most incredibly beautiful boy in school! Maybe even in the city! Maybe even the WORLD! Hell, he is as far as I'm concerned! I'll take him over any boy model or actor on TV any day! No contest! Omigod, omigod, omigod...am I hyperventilating right now? How am I going to make it to tomorrow night if I'm burning up energy like this before he even gets here? Am I even going to be able to sleep tonight? I need to calm down. I need to get my body to stop shivering like this.
I went back to my laptop and opened up my special 'Andris' folder again. Hehehe, I have to admit to being in an extremely anxious mood when I got home today! I think I kind of skipped over any real sense of plot or possibility for this one, racing towards something hot and steamy instead. I don't know...maybe I'll go back and edit it later to soften the blow of my rock hard 'Andris' erection, but...for now...I just want to read it again. Errors and all.
Ok, soooo...now what? I can't just leave the story hanging there! I want...oh man...I want him totally naked. I want to suck him so HARD! And I want him to suck me! And I want him to spread his legs for me, pull his knees up until they're pressed against his smooth chest, opening his inviting hole WIDE for me to forcefully shove my...
Ok, I think I'm getting a bit carried away with this particular 'Andris' story. Maybe that's why I stopped writing it at that particular point. I mean, I'm not going to lie and say that I wasn't thinking about pounding his sweet ass for all I was worth and cumming an entire bucket load full of heated sperm in his hole! Because that's exactly what I was thinking. But...I refused to write it that way. Even though it would have been a hot 'one off' that I could have jerked it to for months to come...I just...I felt guilty, writing about him that way.
Chris would never talk like that. And he's not...ummm...slutty. I can't see him just being some sex hungry whore who wants that kind of attention from me on the first night that we get to spend together. Chris is...he's sweet, you know? And funny. And, sometimes, he's a little bashful around other people. That's the Chris Margo that I know best. This other boy that I'm writing about? He could be anybody. Anybody at all. Not the object of my affections. Not the way that I see him in my mind.
As a matter of fact, now that I think about it some more, I'm beginning to wonder if my other 'Andris' fanfics are anything more than some dumb virgin's idea of what sex is going to be like once I finally have it for the first time. Just tongue kisses and blowjobs and butt sex until we both explode. What if having Chris as a boyfriend, or at least as a deeply felt infatuation...means more than that? What if it's more about cuddles, and kisses on the cheek, and...arguments about what to watch on TV?
I know it sounds STUPID, but...I almost wanted to erase Chapter 10 altogether. It just didn't 'fit' what I was feeling for him at that moment, you know? What I was feeling was a bit more...subtle. Definitely stronger than what I felt from staring at his sexy profile through a sea of crowded teenagers in a high school hallway...and yet, a lot less obvious. It was the kind of emotion that remained wordless because of my inability to compare it to anything that I've ever felt before. And yet, through all of my confusion...I don't feel inadequate. If anything, I feel further empowered by my bewilderment.
Who knew that being hopelessly lost in obsession could be so exciting?
I stared at the screen for a moment. I can't say that I was ashamed. A part of me...five and a half inches in particular...was still straining with an ache for the cutest boy that I've ever seen. I was so hard that it was almost like my erection sincerely believed that it could stretch out far enough to actually reach him through determination alone. The idea of making the sweetest love to Chris while he breathlessly whispered my name in my ear was just about the most erotic thing that I could imagine existing on this planet. But...a pinch of guilt kept me from going any further with this particular fantasy. I don't know what was blocking the hormonal demand to keep writing about his ass and his lips and his hard shaft...but it kept me from wanting this. At least wanting it this way.
I didn't erase the story though. Instead, I just typed the words, 'To Be Continued...', and I hit the save button.
What? No need to delete all the work I put in so far! It's HARD to replace that stuff, you know? Not when you write it in the moment. Once the moment has passed, the writing pretty much goes right along with it. But that doesn't mean that I won't pick it back up when I get the chance. Hehehe! I won't even pretend that I won't stare at Chris' ass when he comes over and feel the need to rush back to this story and...ummmm...find a release. Pun intended.
Let's be honest...that's about as close as I'm ever going to get to having sex with Chris Margo, so I might as well enjoy it until he gets himself a girlfriend and breaks my heart in two while I spend my days being jealous of all the things she's getting access to. Things I'll never have access to.
That's depressing. I'm making myself miserable now. Let me just...get ready for tomorrow. I need to force myself into the right frame of mind, or I'm going to be a major 'fail' when it comes to having a super cute boy over to my house for the first time ever. This could be the greatest night ever...or it could be a traumatic experience that I'm going to have to explain in detail to a therapist 20 years from now. So...let's keep our fingers crossed and hope for the former.
The next day seemed to race by me at the speed of light. I swear to God, my average school day feels like it's 198 hours long on average! ESPECIALLY on a Friday, when the promise of a weekend off was so near, and yet so far away. But the fact that I was consciously trying to dig my heels in and slow things down for once...it just seemed like an entire day blazed by me in the blink of an eye! And when that last bell rang...I nearly had a panic attack. Here it is. The moment of truth. Rushing towards me like a runaway truck.
I went to my locker, feeling jittery and nearly dizzy with anticipation...and just as I open it up, I hear a voice over my shoulder. "Hey!" GAH!!! Chris Margo! Like...within 'touching' distance! Jesus fucking Christ!!! He's way too hot to just...fucking appear like that out of the blue!!!
"Hi! Uhhh...hey! I mean...shit. Hello!" What am I saying right now? Shut up, Andrew! Get your head in the game, for crying out loud! He's standing right in front of you! ADJUST, and quit being a spaz!
"So, we're still on for tonight, right?" He asked.
The oxygen in my lungs felt as if it was turning into a frigid block of ice, weighing heavy in my chest as I tried to improvise some sort of casual conversation with an actual angel from Heaven. "Uh huh..." I said, trying to hide the fact that my eyes were glazing over with a swoon that nearly body slammed me to the hallway floor.
"So you guys meet around six, right? Is it ok if I come over closer to seven? I just have to get some stuff together before I head out. Plus I need to find some good flicks for us to watch. I've got soooo many in the back of my mind! Hehehe! But my curfew is at 11 PM, so I can only stay long enough to watch a few at a time. But, who knows? If you like 'em, maybe the three of us can make this our weekend routine. Wouldn't that be cool?"
Why do I want to CRY right now??? That emotion is SO out of touch with what I'm experiencing at this moment! How does this boy get my thoughts and feelings so out of sync by just saying hello to me?
"Yeah! Totally cool!" I said. Omigod...imagine that. Chris coming over to my house...every Friday...for horror movies! Better yet, just having him sit his pretty butt on my bed and watch a flickering screen in the dark while I try to resist the relentless urge to slam my FACE in his lap! Yeah...I think I could live with that.
"I've got some ideas already. Hehehe, you and Johnny had me looking through all of my best flicks, trying to pick out the best ones to bring over. Have you ever seen 'Train To Busan'?"
He was so excited. Smiling and talking to me and practically bouncing on his heels. It was giving me an erection! WHY??? My body is so out of my control right now! "A train to what? No...I think that's a new one."
"Oh WOW! Ok, I'm definitely binging that one, then! It's like a zombie movie, but it takes place on a bullet train! I've got the English dubbed version too. I don't know if you like subtitles or not..."
"Subtitles don't bother me much. Not for a good movie." I said.
"Sweet! I'll bring both. Just in case. But that movie is INTENSE! So cool!" He grinned. "Have you ever seen 'Caught'?"
I giggled, "Wow...Johnny was right. You've got some movies in your arsenal that we haven't even heard of yet."
"You haven't seen that one either? Awww, dude, I've got TONS of stuff that you have to see! I'll get two or three of my best ones and I'll bring them over! K?"
"Umm...ok..." I said, trying not to visibly tremble in his presence. "Maybe we have a few that you haven't seen yet too. You can borrow some of my movies if you want."
"Sweet! Thanks, Andrew! You can borrow some of mine too! I've got a bunch! We'll trade. Ok?"
I was literally getting choked up with emotion over the fact that Chris seemed to be so...'interested' in anything that I had to say. I'm sorry. I'm being a fanboy. It's just...it's hard to not squirm and wiggle when he looks me in the eye and smiles...that voice saying my name out loud and spending his time talking to ME instead of...I don't know...being super sexy with someone else! Getting Chris Margo to smile in your direction is like randomly catching sight of a falling star in the night sky.
"Ok..." I said, trying to keep my shaky voice under control.
"Alright. I'll call you before I come over. Ok? I'm pretty sure that I know your neighborhood pretty well. I'll find it, easy." He said. "See you later!"
He started to walk away, and I said, "Ok! I'll...I'll see you later, Chris Margo..." What am I doing? And why do I always feel the need to say his first and last name? I guess to separate him from every other 'Chris' in existence. Or...maybe because he's just too beautiful to not be recognized as something completely separate from me and the rest of my reality. He's just...UGH!!!! Everything about him is such a freakin'...EVENT to me! Ya know???
Ok...so now...I just have to hide my 'Margo-Specific Boner' and get my knees to stop being so weak so I can get home and prepare for the night of a lifetime. I'm SO nervous!
God, help me get through this! Please don't let me mess up!
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