By the time Lori had taken one look at the highly expressive grin on my face the next day in school...she was already beginning to hound me about my life and trying to figure out what was going on with me. She was WAY too nosy to let it go! And I was WAY too excited to not spill the beans! So, once again...Lori and I prove to be unnaturally compatible in every way imaginable. That should have been expected from the very beginning, though. Even when we argue, it's a rarity that Lori and I are out of sync with one another.
"You're happy." She said. "Which means you've either gone mad, or something really cool happened recently. Which is it?"
"Well, if I had gone crazy...would I really know that I was crazy?"
"Don't avoid my commentary, you dick!" Lori grinned.
I instantly caved in. WHAT? What good is it to be this excited if I couldn't share it with my best friend? "Jesse and I have a date for Friday! He wants to take me out again!"
"Oh wow! You did it? You actually asked him out on a date like you said???" She had to subdue one of her fangirl squeals with both of her fists balled up in front of her mouth.
"I didn't have to, actually." I said, and with a wink, added, "Jesse beat me to it."
Lori melted. "Omigod...that boy is soooo sweet to you!"
"I KNOW, right?" I said. "He's, like...super anxious for it too."
"Psh! Like you aren't?"
"God, Lori...he's SO perfect! In every possible way! I've never felt like this before. Not for anybody. It's unreal."
She playfully stuck out her bottom lip, and asked, "So when are you gonna bring Jesse to come hang out with the rest of us?"
If I had been chewing gum, I would have swallowed it. "What the…?" There was a pause between us, and I was like, "I don't know. I hadn't really thought about it."
Her jaw dropped slightly, "Hadn't thought about it? Really? You mean to tell me that you've got no plans to share any of your good fortune with us?"
"Share??? No! Well, I mean...what do you…?"
"Oh, I get it! Hehehe! Tristan's got a serious cutie on his arm, so now he wants to hog the unforgivably beautiful celebrity Youtube boy all to himself? That's SO not fair!" I know that she was just teasing, but this was something that had honestly never crossed my mind before today.
"It's not like that, Lori, I just..." I tried to come up with an appropriate collection of words that would explain my suddenly being challenged by such a simple question. "...It would be weird, ok?"
"What the…?" She said. "What would be weird about it?"
"You know what I mean."
"I don't think I do."
"C'mon, Lori. I just need to…"
"Don't forget that you were being a total bitch about even talking to Jesse before WE stepped in and forced you two to become an item!"
"I KNOW! Ok? I do. And I'll be in your debt FOREVER for you unleashing the fury on me about that! But...I just...I want a little bit of time for us to get to know each other a little better before...well, you know..." I whined.
"Before Michelle and I embarrass the shit out of you? Is that it?" She said, and then gave me a silly smirk, with me rolling my eyes, unable to hold back a smirk of my own. "You are being so extra right now. I can't believe you."
"What happened to you wanting totake a step back and giving me some space to be happy? Huh? Wasn't that what you told me on the phone?"
"So, you pick NOW to finally take some of my wise advice without having me cram it down your throat? Great!"
"I'll bring him by to join the crew. I promise! Just...let me enjoy this for a bit longer. He feels the same way, for the record. He wants it to just be the two of us for a while. I mean, you get it...right? It's not a diss, I swear."
Lori sighed to herself. "I know." Then she rolled her eyes as well, "Go have fun with your sexy new boyfriend, ya big ol' diva. But don't think for one second that I'm going to forget about this! We want to drool over Jesse too, ya know?"
"Hehehe, my life wouldn't be comlpete if I didn't have my besties and my boyfriend in the same room at some point. You know me better than that." I said, giving her a hug around the shoulders and a light kiss on the forehead.
Then, I felt her tense up a bit as she looked over my shoulder. "Fuck..." She grumbled.
"What? What's the matter?"
"Don't look, dude. Just...keep hugging me, k?"
"Huh?" I thought it was odd, but then I heard a familiar voice over my shoulder.
"Are you done with your little temper tantrum yet?" Something about Jason Fixx's voice just makes my skin crawl sometimes.
But things were different this time around. I was in love. And I was spending time with someone who actually met me more than half way to give that same love, trust, and respect, BACK to me...instead of only being concerned with what HE was getting out of the whole deal. It was an entirely different situation. A different feeling. Turning around to look Jason in the eye, I was almost ashamed that I had ever given him the time of day in the first place. When is this loser going to take the hint?
"Tantrum?" I asked. "I can't remember throwing a tantrum your way. Sorry."
"You, totally, are Tristan. I sent you a message the other day. Didn't you get it?"
"Yeah. I got it. And then I got rid of it." I told him. "Jason...you and I don't have anything to talk about. We're done."
"Why are you being such a pussy about this? What's with the excess drama? Let's just put the bullshit behind us and get together some time. Quit being so difficult." He said, causing me to shake my head and laugh.
"I don't think you're hearing me, Jason. So let me simplify this for you, so it can wiggle past your insufferable ego! I'm not interested. At ALL. NOTHING that you have to say has any meaning to me, whatsoever, anymore. It's just noise. Nothing more. I don't even care enough to be upset anymore. You're just...trash." I told him. "You had your chance to treat me like a decent human being, and you fucked it up. You were too selfish to care about my feelings when you had them aimed in your direction...and now you think you can bully your way back into having me give a shit about you again? No. You can't. I don't feel anything for you anymore. Nothing. You're the one mistake that is well on its way towards being forgotten about. I don't want to talk. I don't want to 'hang out'. I sure as hell don't want to get back together. You have nothing of value to offer me. I just don't have the capacity to care anymore. I can't be more clear than that. Sorry." I said, seeing Jason's reaction go from disbelief to one that almost resembled a convincing feeling of 'loss'. "I know that you'll probably go home and think that I'm the one being the asshole here, and that's fine. Think what you want. Whatever it takes to help you sleep at night. But, deep down, you know the truth. You had me, Jason. Ignorant and naive as I was...I was totally down to stand beside you, no matter what. But you ruined it. You, and you alone. What you've done to me, at this point, goes way beyond you simply saying you're sorry. You abused me until I finally realized that I don't have any use for a monster like you in my life. We're done. So...you're only left with two choices now." I said. "You can either learn from this, and treat the other people in your life better than you ever treated me...or you can try to blame me for being a 'pussy', and keep up with this behavior until you've alienated every single person in your life who took a chance on ever giving a fuck about you until they're all gone. Because I don't. Not anymore. And I never will again." I was surprised to see Lori standing there...speechless! Joyfully so! And before walking away from him, I said, "There. I'm done with my little 'tantrum'. I'll leave you to get back to your own life without me now. Ta- ta!"
As much animosity as they've had for one another since our big break up, I think my defiant comments shocked both Lori and Jason Fixx into a state of utter paralysis! Neither one of them expected me to handle the situation the way that I did. Hell, until I was in the middle of it...I can't really say that I expected it myself! What the hell just happened? Did I really just tell Jason Fixx to fuck off, once and for all? A few weeks ago, I was pining away over his misuse of my body and soul, craving his validation and his approval of me! And now? God...he just didn't fucking matter! What was I thinking, trying to reason with that asshole? Why did I allow him to bring me down to his level? I'm so much better than that. And Jesse? Hehehe, Jesse brings me up to a level so high that I can't even SEE Jason Fixx's bullshit from here.
Wow...it took a lot of time and effort to get to the point where I really hated Jason for everything that he was. But I never thought I'd reach a point where he ceased to have any impact on me at all. This is an entirely new feeling for me. One that I feel, finally, set me free.
Jason sucked his teeth and made an attempt to look like he blew me off first with a dismissive gesture and a few curse words...but I wasn't watching. And I wasn't listening. This wasn't an act...I really did NOT care! Hehehe, and that felt so GOOD! You have no idea!
"Tristan! My fuckin' HERO! What was that???" Lori said, nearly knocking me over with a hug from the side.
"I don't know! I just...I feel like I'm top of the world right now! Everything is awesome!" Hehehe, it made me think of Jesse's singing over the phone, but I tried to keep my focus, regardless. "I think I can see why you were so angry about me sticking up for him before. Omigod, Lori, that guy is totally worthless! What was I thinking?"
"I can't believe you just did that!"
"I can't either. I kinda expected Jason to just go away and stay away. But now, he's like...obsessed with me. I almost wish I still found something to mildly like about the guy." I told her, resisting the urge to turn around to see if he was still watching us walk away. Nope. I won't do it. I said what I said it was a perfect opportunity to break things off right then and there...maybe he'll finally get a clue.
"Holy shit, dude! I've never been more proud of you in my entire life!" She said, and then she started tearing up.
"Whoah! No no no...stop that! Don't start crying!" I begged her, but she just fanned her face with both hands and let the tears run wild anyway.
"It's just...he was so fucking CRUEL to you for so fucking long! And for no fucking reason at ALL!!! And you just sat there and took it like a champ without fighting back because...because you didn't want to be the asshole that he was. And now? Now you've got this amazing life that you're building up for yourself from square one, and you...you finally told that creep to go FUCK himself!!! And I don't think he even deserved that much of a response from you! It's just so...so special..." Lori's voice started to crack, and I looked around the hallway to see who was watching this meltdown as I tried to get her emotions back under her control before she started blowing snot bubbles out of her nose.
"Lori...babe, you know I love you, but...can we stop? This is weird." I said.
"Omigod, I gotta hug you! Come here!"
"NO!!! You're all...wet and nasty. How about you come back and hug me later!" I said, but she was already pressing her face into my excuse for a boy chest. I cringed a bit, hearing her sniffle and swallow mucus as her sloppy expression of joy began to soak the fabric of my shirt. Ugh! I might as well just wrap my arms around her and hug her already. Anything to cut this 'bonding' time in half. "Ok. Alright. Ummm...there, there." I said.
"I'm sorry, Tris. This is like a whole new milestone. We should celebrate." She said, wiping her eyes.
"Great. We can do it at the laundromat while I try to get your snot and smeared makeup out of my shirt."
"What? My makeup is running? Omigod, I've got to fix up." And with that, she let me go and headed towards the girl's bathroom to pretty up again.
I called out, "Doesn't do much for my shirt, now does it?"
"I love you, Tris!"
"Lori!" But the protective barrier of the bathroom door had already closed behind her. "I still have three periods to go, ya know..." I mumbled to myself. But whatever. She was right. This felt like the beginning of a brand new day as far as life and love were concerned. A breath of fresh air. Naturally, Jason wasn't the kind of person who would take me having the last word on this fiasco kindly...but I barely found the need to care about that either. He was like that tiny house spider that you see crawling on the wall...on the other side of the room...way up by the ceiling...and you just shrug your shoulders because you don't want to waste the energy getting up to smash it with a napkin. It's like, 'meh'...whatever.
This whole 'being in love' thing really changes a person, ya know?
Both Lori and Michelle had a billion questions to ask me as they drove me home from school that day, but I didn't really have much to tell them. Jesse didn't really fill me in on much of a game plan. All I knew is that it would be a public place, he offered to pay, and he couldn't wait to see me again. Hehehe, that was definitely enough to sell ME on the idea! What more info did I need?
Just as I was climbing out of the back seat of the car, Lori wailed, "Can you take a selfie of you guys kissing? I've GOTTA finally see what it looks like for you to kiss another boy! I can't stand the mystery!"
"Shhhh! Jesus! Shout my secrets all over the neighborhood, why don't you?" I said, shutting the door. But, when she rolled her window down, I said, "I'll think about it." And turned to walk up the driveway to my house.
"I'll be thinking about it too! I'm not gonna forget!"
"I love you, Lori!" I grinned, and kept walking.
So...a Friday night date. I was thinking that I'd have to come up with a decent excuse for my mom to let me hop on a bus and travel halfway across town without giving her any concrete details, but...it turns out that she just gave me the weirdest little smile when I told her that I was thinking of going out with a 'friend' tonight. It was the kind of smile a mother gives you when you give her a handmade ashtray from Summer camp...even though she doesn't smoke. She's just touched that you thought of her while you were away. Geez, I hope she's better at keeping her composure than Lori was. If my shirt gets any more snot-soaked, I'm going to have to burn the damn thing!
I showered, brushed my teeth, and waited for my hair to dry a bit before teasing the everlovin' shit out of it. I picked a bright red t-shirt to wear, covered by a light blue jean jacket. I took time to pick out this combo because I think it brings out my eyes. Jesse loves my eyes. Then again, he has a fascination with my ass too. Hehehe, so I grabbed some pants that didn't look deliberately tight...but tighter than what I would normally wear. Might as well not deny my new boyfriend a bit of a 'show', right? I'm not done making my first impression on him yet.
Do you think he thinks about my butt? Like...does he dream about me? Does he get in his bed, late at night, and strip down while thinking about pushing himself into my...
"Honey?" My mom knocked twice on the door, and I found myself nearly diving on the bed, face first, to hide the sudden bulge in the front of my pants before she opened it up. WHAT? What does she want? What could she possibly need from me right NOW at this very moment? Jesus!
"Mom...c'mon, I'm getting dressed..." I grunted.
"I know. I just wanted to give you something for your...'outing' tonight. That's all." And when I looked back, my mom put twenty five whole dollars on top of my dresser! What the…?
"Huh? What's that for?" I asked.
"It's just a little something extra. So you and your friends can have fun tonight." She said, giving me that ridiculous 'Mom grin' again. "This doesn't mean that you can break curfew. You hear?"
"I know. Eleven O'clock, Eleven Thirty with a phone call and a good excuse." I said, repeating the mantra from memory.
"That's right." She said. "And what's the only good excuse?"
"That I'm on my way home already." I moaned.
"Good boy." She leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Go have a blast, sweetie."
Well...that's ONE surefire way to get rid of a boner for your boyfriend in a hurry.
I know that Jesse said he would pay for everything, but I kind of liked the idea of maybe buying him some stuff too. Or at least having the option to. I was feeling rather independent tonight, I figured that I might as well keep that momentum going for as long as I could.
Alright, so...is this officially our second date now? Do I count going over to his house and having him...ummm...'put his mouth on me'? That was more of, like, a friendly visit with a huge bonus. Hehehe! I don't know, but I made sure to walk slowly to the bus stop. Didn't want to get all heated and sweaty. Besides, there's still a bit of nervousness when it comes to being close to Jesse. I'm sure I'm going to shake myself to pieces, no matter what, when I see him face to face again. But as I saw the bus coming from a distance, I got a message on my phone. All I saw was a picture of Jesse making this CRAZY face, with his tongue hanging out of the side of his mouth and crossing his eyes! Hahaha, what the hell?
The message said, "Getting all pretty for you tonight! See ya soon! MWAH!"
That boy is just the right kind of crazy. I'm on my way, Jesse. I'm on my way.
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