"Warming Up To Paradise"
I didn't realize the nervous bounce on the ball of my foot, or the incessant tapping of my frantic fingers on my thighs as the bus took me ever closer to my date with an angel. I was paying too much attention to the intense pressure crushing my impatient heart, making it hard to breathe. Oh God...Jesse was so much easier to deal with when I was just watching him on YouTube! Having to interact with him in person is beyond frightening sometimes. Believe me!
And yet, it's frightening in this really cool way. It's like being lost in a dream in a lot of ways. You kind of know what you want to happen, but your at the complete mercy of your head and your heart, your subconscious dragging you along for the ride without giving you a hint as to whether or not its intentions are pure or acting rationally. You just have to drift wherever the situation takes you. Which is intriguing, sure...but yeah...very scary at the same time.
When the bus finally came to my stop, I was almost too shaky to stand up straight. Especially when I stepped towards the door and caught sight of Jesse's light blond hair blowing softly with a warm and gentle breeze. It was like one of those slow motion moments right out of a movie. He's so...so inarguably gorgeous! How the hell did I score such a hottie on my very first time trying to get a boyfriend. I mean...LOOK at him! What am I supposed to do with a boy this beautiful??? It boggles the mind!
Jesse was looking all over for me to step off the bus, and the cutest smile spread out on his face when he finally caught sight of me. The moment that I smiled back at him, a deep rose colored blush crawled up into his cheeks and he bashfully dug his toe into the concrete as he lowered his infatuated gaze...a cascade of golden locks sweeping down to partially hide his face from me. I swear...the whole image of him standing there, waiting for me...it nearly took my breath away.
He was quick to step forward and give me a loving hug around the neck once he was close enough to do so. I heard him moan quietly, saying, "Omigod! I'm so happy that you were on this bus! Hehehe!"
"Hehehe, what? Did you think I was gonna back out on our date?" I asked, feeling the warmth and comfort of his loving embrace.
"No, it's just...I got here super early. So I saw one bus come by, and you weren't on it. Then a second bus drove up, and I got all anxious and weird...but you weren't on that one either." He grinned. "I swear, my guts would have gotten all twisted up and messy if you didn't show up soon. Another fifteen minute wait might have, literally, driven me insane."
Seeing his smile just gave my whole existence meaning and purpose, you know? Especially when he was flattering me like this. I said, "I'm sorry. I probably should have come a bit earlier..."
"Hush up! Hehehe, it's my fault for being so damn goofy for you. That's all." He said, and then...with an adorable glow of nervous affection...Jesse slowly reached out for my hand, and took a hold of it. "So...do you wanna...ummm...start our date now, or whatever?"
Hehehe, 'start our date'? I just...I thought that was so cute. "Yeah. Sure. I'm ready if you are."
Having him hold my hand was just so...so shameless, you know? I mean, looking into his pretty eyes had pretty much drowned out the rest of society surrounding us...but once I noticed that there were other people walking past us, I didn't feel the instinct to pull my hand away from his tender grip at all. I actually got a bit of a rush from openly displaying my utter fascination with the stunning boy standing before me. A flutter of tingles ran through me, and the ticklish sensation caused me to smile at Jesse. And that caused him to smile back at me. And that caused me to smile even wider. And that caused...UGH! What the fuck is happening to me! Hahaha! Everything about being in love like this is so enjoyably confusing!
Jesse held onto my hand the whole time that we were walking. His hands were so soft. With long, thin, fingers that seemed to be created for the sole purpose of threading themselves with my own. I was forced to ask myself...do openly gay boys really live like this? Can this ever feel 'normal'? My heart was racing like crazy, but I've held Jesse's hand before in public. Why was this so different? Maybe because it was more deliberate this time. More brazen. It just...it felt like I was actually getting used to dating to the most amazing boy on Earth. Hehehe! It's a feeling that I never got with Jason Fixx! As cute a he was, and as lucky as I felt to have a boy to suck off in the back alley every now and then...my virginal mind never understood the grand experience of truly sharing an emotional bond with someone the way I did with Jesse. I never thought it was even possible. Most times...society makes it seem like being a gay teen is a sad and torturous experience, riddled with heartache and pain and suicidal thoughts. But...being here...right here, right now...holding my blond hottie boyfriend's hand as we walk down the street? I'd say that being gay is just as exciting and normal as it would be for anybody else. Maybe even more so. because I found love despite the odds. I've been blessed beyond the obstacles standing in my way. It's so EXCITING to be living through this right now! Hehehe, oh God, Iwant to SCREAM!
"So...I had this place in mind for our date tonight. It was Artie's idea, actually. I had him help me out with the planning and everything. He says 'hi', by the way." Jesse grinned. "It'll be awesome. Promise."
"M'kay!" I giggled. He's still holding my hand! Sorry, there was just...something really sexy about it. At least to me it was. I had to fight off a growing erection from the physical contact. What's so naughty about holding hands? My emotions are SO out of control right now.
I kinda like it!
As we were walking down the block from the mall where we originally met for the first time, Jesse told me that he was so happy to have me close to him again. And he promised to buy me an awesome dinner. He's like, "Don't hold back, k? Whatever's on the menu, you go ahead and order it, and I'll pay for the whole thing."
"You don't have to do all that. Honestly." I said. Is he still holding my hand? Omigod, he totally is! This feels so cool! "Believe it or not, my mom actually spotted me a whole 25 dollars to come out here and have a good time tonight. Crazy, right?"
Jesse's bright eyes widened. "Seriously? You told her about...I mean, did you say that we were...? Well, I don't want to assume too much, but..."
He's so fucking adorable! "No. I didn't say that you were my boyfriend, if that's what you mean." He beamed over the term 'boyfriend', and his blush returned to his smooth, pale, cheeks as soon as he heard it. "My mom just...I think she's 'guessing' about me again. That's all. Whatever. It's no big deal."
"Hehehe, yeah. I know how that goes. Although, I'm pretty sure that my mom knows about us already." He said, causing me to gasp a little bit. "Don't worry. She hasn't said anything yet, but...I mean, it's pretty obvious that I'm crazy about you. She pretty much figured things out the moment she met you in person. It's YOUR fault for being so damn cute! Way too cute for me to just run up to you, like, 'Hey! I wanna be FRIENDS and nothing else!' Hehehe! So I'm just giving you a heads up for the next time you come over."
"Ugh...why do parents have to know so MUCH?" I groaned.
"I know, right? Just...go watch TV or something! Butt out!" He smirked. "And then, it's like I mention your name, and my mom gets this super awkward, sappy, grin on her face!"
"Holy shit! Mine too!!! I HATE that smile! It's so weird!"
"Invasive, is what it is! Invasive and weird!" He said, and when I giggled about it, his eyes glazed over and he gave me the sweetest smile. "You have a really cute laugh. You know that?"
"Ummm...hehehe, thanks, I think. I didn't really design it myself, so..."
"Yeah, well...it's cute. It fits you." He said. And then, without warning, he leaned over and kissed me lightly on the cheek. "Sorry. Couldn't help myself."
"It's ok. I liked it." I snickered.
"Can I do it again?"
"Hahaha! Not unless you want to be known as the kid walking down the street with an 'obvious boner boy'!"
"I've been called worse." He said, but used enough restraint to just give my hand a squeeze and keep walking.
"So...where are we going?" I asked.
"Have you ever heard of 'Cheesy Pete's'?"
"Have I ever heard of WHAT? Hehehe!"
"Cheesy Pete's! Awww dude! This is going to ROCK! You'll love it!" Jesse said, practically skipping as he picked up the pace and guided me to...whatever the hell Cheesy Pete's is!
It was maybe 20 minutes away from the bus stop, but when we got there, the parking lot was full, and there was a big neon sign with outdoor speakers playing dance music at full volume. Hehehe, ok! I'm digging this place already, and I haven't even walked through the front door yet.
"You ready?" Jesse asked me.
"I think so..." I replied, and he gave me another quick peck on the cheek before letting go of my hand.
"Sorry. Hehehe, that's the last one. I swear. I couldn't help myself." Then he's like, "Come on! This place is the coolest!"
He led me inside, and I found myself drowning in music and laughter and screaming kids. It was a full restaurant, and a giant arcade, and pool tables, and bowling lanes, and roller skating rink, and just...360 degrees of awesomeness! How have I never heard of this place before? Jesus Christ, this place is HUGE!!!
I caught Jesse marveling at the expression on my face, so proud that he was able to show me something that I had never seen before. I could tell that he wanted to kiss me again. It was written all over his face. Hehehe, but he just swallowed the urge to do so, and pulled me toward the counter to get enough tokens for us to play video games for the ret of the night. True to his word, he paid for everything, and we split the tokens in half. Not that he ever left my side. Every game that we played, we played together. Especially the racing games where we were side by side, totally crashing into one another to knock the other car off track so we could win! Hahaha, we laughed so hard! Jesse CHEATS, you know? He totally does! Bastard!
The whole building seemed like a multi ring circus, and we spent the first hour just doubling over in laughter, our bellies aching from having so much fun. I almost forgot how freaking CUTE Jesse was, and how lucky I was that a boy like him would ever give me the time of day! But...there were a few times where I found myself getting breathless from the very sight of him. He was a blond angel that demanded attention with every moment of eye contact that he blessed me with. It was hard to turn away. Even harder to find the courage needed to acknowledge his beauty the way I should have. I guess I wasn't used to being so...'open'. You know? After the secrets and the shame and the hiding that Jason Fixx had put me through during the unsatisfactory moments that we spent together...this was an entirely different experience. Something special. Something real.
And...even though being 'gay in public' was something brand new to me...I had a moment where I looked at Jesse's extremely cute face from the side, and found that I couldn't help myself either. I caught him off guard, and thrust my head forward to kiss him on the cheek. It caused him to gasp and his eyes got so wide that I cracked up at the sight of his expression. Jesse's face turned red in an instant, and he looked away from me, trying to find some level of self control before taking a hold of my hand again.
Yeah...this is what an official date should be! Lori is going to be SO jealous when I tell her about all of this. Hehehe, I can't wait to brag about how freaking amazing this was.
"Are you hungry?" Jesse asked me. "We can get something to eat if you want. Not just iced coffee and donuts this time, but like...real food. Let me feed you! Hehehe!"
I said, "Ok. If you have your heart set on it."
"My heart's set on YOU. Nothing else." But as we were walking past a collection of skeeball ramps, Jesse stopped and said, "Wait! Let me get some more tickets first. Then we'll eat, k? I wanna win you something! Like...a stuffed animal or something. That way you can put it in your bed and snuggle up to it and think of me while you're sleeping. Hehehe!"
"I always think of you while I'm sleeping." Ok, so maybe Jesse and I were both brand new to the whole 'flirting' thing, but as corny as our comments were, they felt like fine poetry to us at the time.
"Here, you play too!" Jesse said, making sure we both had enough credits for a fresh game. "I'll get you something cool! You'll see! Start thinking about what you want. I'm the skeeball KING! Watch this!"
Trying to hold back a smirk, I started playing my own game. Jesse hit a couple of good scores with his skeeball efforts, but I noticed him looking over at what I was doing instead. I rolled the first few balls up the ramp. 5000 points. Then 4000 points. Then two 10,000 point scores in a row! Then another 5000 point. Hahaha! Jesse's jaw dropped as he stared at me in disbelief!
"Holy shit! What the actual fuck, dude???" He said.
"Skeeball skills! Sissy boy talent number 23! Recognize!" I laughed out loud, and finished my game, winning the bonus of one thousand tickets on TOP of my actual score. Jesse couldn't believe his eyes. Hehehe, he barely racked up HALF the points that I did on his side, and that adorable blush crawled back up into his sexy FACE again!
"I can't believe this. You're like...the perfect boyfriend, Tristan. I'm totally speechless right now."
"TOTALLY! Yes! Hehehe!" He said. "Are there any other 'sissy talents' that I should know about before claiming that I'm good at something?"
With a naughty grin, I said, "None that I can show you here in public." Then I winked at him and sensually licked my lips, causing his boyish blush to darken considerably.
"Jesus...you're so awesome. Omigod...I'm so in love right now!" He giggled.
"Maybe I'll win you something soft and cuddly instead." I said.
"Deal! I know when I'm outmatched, dude! Get me something cool when you finish being awesome! Take my extra tokens! We'll take the redemption counter for all they're worth! Hehehe!"
Our eyes connected for a moment, and our smiles faded slightly...as something more intimate...more passionate...took over. Suddenly, the need to hold my new boyfriend close became an overwhelming addiction that was hard to resist, despite the swarm of unsuspecting people around us. I just...I WANTED him! And not just for hugs. Or holding hands. Or kisses on the cheek. This feeling was so much more intense. And I might have felt bad about craving his sexual touch so much if I hadn't seen the same desire reflected in his beautiful eyes. It was a moment that we both understood without having to say it out loud. A moment that called for immediate action.
"Ummm...hehehe..." I bashfully looked away, wishing that I had some kind of strategy as to how to keep up the momentum that our date had built up so far. But, without anything substantial to say to the breathtakingly gorgeous boy standing before me...I just lowered my head and tried to wait for the clumsy moment to pass by without drawing too much more attention to it by letting him know what a GEEK I was about all this!
We fidgeted and shifted from one foot to the other for a moment. And then Jesse glanced up at me, saying, "I need a kiss." I raised my eyebrows, and he giggled out loud. "I'm sorry, but it's true! I NEED one! Can we kiss?"
"We can go outside if you want. That's cool. I just...I want..." He sighed to himself, and took a hold of my hand again. "You're so beautiful, Tristan. I'm glad that you came out here tonight. Let's just go outside for a few minutes. Is that ok?" He said. "Let me kiss you for a couple of minutes. Like...really kiss you. It's all I've been thinking about since the last time we were together." I got so...embarrassed! Hehehe, but I can't deny that having him want to make out with me was the most flattering ego stroke that I've ever experienced before. So I shyly agreed, and Jesse began to lead me back through the arcade to go back out to the parking lot. A place where I was hoping to slide my eager tongue against his again, bonding us together in a way that only true lovers could ever hope to understand. Jesse Kyler, this HUGE Youtube celebrity who has no reason to give two shits about me at all, turned out to be my dream come true. An untouchable fantasy for most, made real in the life of a boy who never thought something like this would ever be possible. And I've never been more grateful! Not ever!
"M'kay..." I said quietly, trembling as the thought of kissing my new boyfriend rattled around in my chest to the point of leaving me breathless.
"Sweet..." Jesse whispered. And he led through the arcade so we could...ummm, find a private place to kiss! Hehehe!
BUT...before were able to reach the door we were stopped by some other boy that did a double take once Jesse walked by him. He stopped dead in his tracks, and he spoke up when he saw us. "Hey..." He said.
The boy was the same age as we were, with brownish blond hair and light brown eyes. Cute enough to make me apprehensive the second he spoke to my boyfriend.
"Hi...?" Jesse answered. A bit confused as to why this stranger was speaking to him.
"Jesse?" The boy asked. "Are you Jesse? Jesse-101? Like...from Youtube?"
Jesse relaxed a bit, obviously used to getting the celebrity treatment every now and then. "Oh...hehehe. Yeah. That's me."
The boy reached out to shake his hand. "I'm a fan! Your channel is awesome!" He said.
I was really anxious for this interaction to be over and done with so we could go out to the parking lot and start kissing! But I noticed the look on Jesse's face changing when he took a closer look at the boy talking to him.
"Whoah! Wait a minute...you're on Youtube too, right?"
"Guilty as charged." The boy said.
Jesse seemed so surprised. So happy. He said, "Omigod! I know you! You're 'Jimmy Jukebox'! You do the weekly music challenges and stuff, right?"
"Wow...you've seen my channel?" He asked. "That's cool!"
"Are you kidding? I LOVE your channel! I've found so much new music and stuff from the stuff you post every week! Dude, what are you even DOING here?"
Jimmy said, "I LIVE here! Hehehe! I was just going out with the family to have some fun tonight. That's all." Then, this 'Jimmy' guy looked over at me and nodded. "Hello."
"Hi." I said.
Ummm...who is 'Jimmy Jukebox'? nd why is my new boyfriend so familiar with his Youtube channel?
I'm not trying to be rude or possessive, but...
I was a lot happier when Jesse and I were going outside to kiss each other silly! What the fuck is THIS???
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