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Date Posted: 23:37:17 01/15/20 Wed
Subject: I'd like to think that I'm pretty honest about who I am...
In reply to:
's message, "Imagine Question For 1/15" on 03:49:31 01/15/20 Wed
I would rather keep quiet and say, "No comment", than lie. Lies just lead to a chain reaction of falling dominoes that only end up exposing you in the end. So why do it? Hehehe! I could lie and tell you guys that I was a millionaire...but I KNOW that's not true. So whether you were deceived or not, that doesn't do anything to make me feel good about myself. You know? I don't have a 12 inch penis, but I'm proud of the one I've got. Hehehe, so why lie about it?
That being said, I'm still a really private person. Not because of my secrets, but because I only tell people what the need to know about me, in terms of my relationship with that particular person. There are people that I have fun with and all, but I don't ask them personal questions that I think could be seen as invasive. I don't pry into their business, I don't try to get second hand gossip about them from other people, I don't sneak around and try to look them up online...I feel like that's wrong. So I would hope that they would give me the same respect.
But, I do feel the need to wear a mask sometimes. I think it's just a part of being a part of the world at large. Obviously, I have to keep my attraction to high school boys a secret. It's just not something that a lot of people understand, or are willing to tolerate. So being open about that is, unfortunately, simply not an option for me. With the exception of stories like "My Only Escape" or "Gone From Daylight", I definitely don't talk about my childhood with most people. Again, that paints a picture of who I am that I don't think is accurate. Certain lifestyles and experiences create stereotypes in the minds of the people around you, and I really don't want to be judged by the history of people who don't have anything to do with me. So I keep that stuff secret as well.
And then, of course, there's a ton of private information that I keep to myself because...'the internet'. Hehehe! I don't need people showing up at my front door or at my job one day without warning. John Lennon was murdered by his BIGGEST fan because of "The Catcher In The Rye" and the hotel where they filmed "Rosemary's Baby"! Don't need that in my life. No thank you.
So...where is the balance?
I think it really depends on self confidence and self love. I think it's about being proud to be who you are, to believe what you believe, to love who you want to love...but understanding the rules of engagement when it comes to the rest of the world. I think people need a three-dimensional awareness of the world as a whole. Who you are, what you share, and what is deemed appropriate by the rest of society, are three totally different things. And even if you don't agree, both sides should at least make an attempt to understand why this is so. Does that make any sense?
I don't know. I have always had mixed feelings about this topic. Because you can't tolerate someone punching their kid or their wife in public. Ever! But is it hypocritical to say that someone who doesn't tolerate gay marriage can FORCE it into law and make it illegal to do so? It sounds ridiculous to me, personally...but again, where do we draw the line. Because to the zealots who feel that gay marriage is SO wrong...it feels like a punch in the face to them. So how can I expect them to understand my point of view when I have zero understanding of theirs?
I don't know. The world makes so much less sense to me now than it used to. ::Shakes head::
Anyway, we show the world what we can, and we hide what we have to. I guess we just have to hope for the best. I'm pretty close with my mom, and I have two best friends that I know I can talk to on a deeper level about certain things...but other than that, I stay pretty 'surface' with most of the people I know. Not because I don't trust them, I just don't think that most people have earned access to certain parts of my life. I like keeping parts of myself private. I take pride in knowing that I've got a few bits of info that are reserved only for the people that know me best. I cherish that.
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