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I just remember staring up at the ceiling, listening to Dustin's slow, but steady, breathing as he snoozed gently on my chest. I couldn't help but smile as he would occassionally hint at a boyish snore, his body so relaxed....so satisfied...as I held him close. We were talking to one another when he dozed off by accident, and he had been out for almost ten minutes now while I caressed his slender young body with all the love and protection that I could. Even fast asleep...his body was oh so warm.
God help me...what have I done? I had actually broken the LAW here tonight. I allowed the very foundation of my restraint and self control to crumble and collapse under the weight of this boy's untainted heart. And.....now what? I mean...this is the kinda shit that people go to JAIL over! This is a federal crime, for Christ sake! It's a MORAL crime! I think his parents now have a legal right to shoot me through the fucking heart now because of this! And...and....I should be angry, and terrified, and filled with the usual level of unimaginable self hate for what I had done to this poor helpless child! But.....as I hugged his soft skin against me...all I could feel was....relief. And peace. And love. It was a conflict, a destructive battering ram, designed to knock down every defense I had ever built against my own feelings since high school ended five years ago. It was all destroyed in one fell swoop, and as much as I wanted to loathe myself for what happened....I didn't. I couldn't. In fact, I was so happy, that I couldn't stop smiling.
His skin was so electric. His hair so silky. And as I heard him breathing softly, feeling the air from his nostrils blowing gently across my are chest...I took notice of the fact that our breathing was completely in sync. Occassionally I would take an extra deep breath, and sigh from the incredible comfort of the moment...and he would stir in his sleep. I would hear this very tender whine come from the back of his throat, like a newborn puppy that hadn't even opened his eyes yet, and he'd unconsciously snuggle even tighter up against me. It was as if he was afraid that I was gonna leave him or something. He couldn't have that. His arm was draped over me, his leg was draped over me, his most sensitive organ was pressed firmly against my thigh....still semi hard from whatever temporary dreams he was having at my side. And God....it felt soooo good.
I never thought I'd be here. I never thought a love like this would be possible. Certainly, it wouldn't be tolerated. But......again....
...Sighhhh, it felt soooooooo good.
I felt Dustin purring delicately beside me, and his leg moved up high on my hip as we lay in that loving embrace. His skin felt so unbelievably smooth against the hairs between my legs. His skin was so soft and pale that it looked almost transparent, and I moaned from the very sight of it, kissing the top of his head and running my fingertips through his blond locks. He sighed to himself, and his pretty blue eyes slowly fluttered open to greet me with a smile. It almost looked like he wondered if this was all a dream, but as the reality set in, I saw those pearly white teeth come into view, and he instantly hugged me close. He giggled sheepshly, burying his nose and lips into the side of my neck. He was happy. Unimaginably happy. And he credited me for making him feel that way. That alone nearly caused my heart to explode.
He raised up on one elbow. "Your heartbeat put me to sleep." He smiled, looking down at me as the long side of his golden hair swept across my cheek.
"I think your little 'explosion' is what put you to sleep." I teased.
"Yeah, that might have something to do with it too." He stared at me for a second with a grin, his eyes blinking slowly as he tried to find something sweet to say to me. But when he couldn't come up with anything, he giggled again and fell back into my arms, snuggling up tight to my side.
I could feel his hardness inflating again fast as he clutched on to me with his arms and legs. I could feel the gentle touch of his smile as his lips pressed against my collarbone. And his body was shaking with the tender fit of constant giggles rushing through him as he rubbed his cute little nose against my skin. It made me grin myself. "Hehehe, what's so funny?" I asked him.
"Huh?"
"You're laughing. What's funny?"
"Hehehe....dude, I don't know!" He giggled some more. "I'm just so....fuckin'....hehehe...." Then he hid his face in my neck again and whined, "Aww, I don't know! I'm just....happy, I guess." I kissed the top of his head again and he literlly whimpered as though the affection was too much for him to handle. I didn't think I could ever have been loved so completely.
"That's ok, hon. Just enjoy it." I said. His arms snked further up to hug me around the neck, and I could feel the pants of his breath against my skin. Soft and sweet...the hum of his developing teen voice vibrating on my shoulder. I don't think he was ever planning to let me go. "I love you, Dustin." You can't imagine how amazing it is to be able to say that to him, even in secret.
Dustin's limbs constricted even tighter around me, and he somehow managed to wiggle himself up on top of me, staring down at my eyes, almost holding back tears. "I love you too!" He said, nd I saw his blue pools mist up as he blushed and had to put his head back down over my shoulder to hide his face. Honestly, I think he was embarrassed slightly by being so lost for words. So out of control with his emotions. They just poured out of him so freely that he didn't have any way of holding them back. He hadn't practiced like I had for so many years. He was too young. For him...he hadn't developed the emotional 'muscle' to restrain the flood of emotion surrounding that first true admission of love. The way he was trembling, I couldn't tell if he ws overjoyed, confused, crying, scared shitless, or a combination of all. So I just let my hands crawl over his naked backside, and slide up and down slowly, giving him the chance to figure things out a little bit more. Just having him lay on top of me like that...I didn't mind giving him all the time he needs.
A few minutes past. I did hear a sniffle or two, and a few times he pushed his hips into me, as though he wanted more, but I didn't say a word. I can't really say why, but I just really didn't want to push him. I didn't want to make him talk until he was ready. As beautiful and as forward as he was...everything about him just felt so fragile at the moment. I couldn't bare to embarass him, or force him, or even tease him to lighten the mood. I just....I wanted him to relax until he felt comfortble again. That's all I wanted. Who could want anything more?
He finally raised his head again, after secretly wiping his eyes with his free hand. Hehehe, don't worry, I didn't let on that I knew. Taking anything away from the brightness of that recently de-virginized smile would be a crime. His sweet lips kissed mine, and I waited for his tongue to push forward again before we tangled ourselves up again. For a novice kisser, he certainly learned quick. It was like he absorbed my every movement and unspoken 'lesson' without any effort at all. His body just adopted everything it learned automatically, and then improved on it ten times over through his enthusiasm alone. Whatever it was that he lacked in experience, he MORE than made up for it in raw passion alone. It was like he could inhale your very soul with every breath, and you could only hope that he had the grace to give it back to you when he exhaled again. My God.....he kissed me like a pro, and I felt like a little kid again. I literally didn't know what to do with myself.
So much for the concept of 'adulthood' giving you all of the easy answers, huh?
I kissed him back, and let my hands slide ever so carefully down until they hit a very sensuous block. The sharp rise of his tight young globes...smooth as a dune of untouched snow. Allowing my greedy hands to travel up and over that sexual mound of bubbled flesh and give it a lustful squeeze was a mindblowing experience for me. There were so few traces of self loathing left for what I was feeling. His body was a constant pleasure, a temptation beyond rival. There are no words to describe how sexually pleasing a teenager's body is when you are holding it against you. When you're feeling the trembles of a 'beginner' in your arms, and that fresh, supple, delicious, sponge-like body is just aching to experience as much pleasure as it can possibly stand before shutting down. It 'clings' to you. It looks to you for advice, and for approval, and for stimulation. Combined with Dustin's loving kiss...there was no greater Heaven available on this Earth. I can pretty much guarantee you that.
I won't hide the fact that I was a bit frightened by the idea of laying on Dustin's bed in a house where his parents literally walk through the door at any minute. In fact, my mind was so sensitive that it picked up every creak in the floor, every outdoor voice, and every cricket, moth, and mosquito, in the whole neighborhood...wondering if that was gonna be the moment that I go to jail. Paranoia becomes an 'art' after you entertain it for long enough. But Dustin never flinched. He was SO carefree. The ONLY things that he cared about at that moment was being in love and not letting me leave his side for any reason whatsoever. It crossed my mind that I was in a severely harmful position, capturing this boy's affections so completely, so easily, and having him become attached to me with his whole mind, body, and soul. And yes...there were still lingering fears tht the law was going to bust in at any moment and lock me up until I was in my forties. Not to mention the mandatory 'sex offender' neighborhood registration, which would pretty much ruin the rest of my natural life on planet Earth. Yeah....I thought about all of those things. I entertained all of those fears. But...Dustin's warmth, his yearning for me...it clouded EVERY bit of common sense that I had left! Nothing about the 'rules' made any kind of sense when I felt his lips on mine. All laws went out the window when I felt his hips push into my, his 'early juice' leaking on my stomach as he tried to stop giggling long enough to kiss me again. The whole notion of a 'why' left me....and was only replaced with a 'why not' instead.
"You know what I think?" Dustin moaned as his fingers traced a small circle around my nipple.
"What's that?"
"I think...you should spend the night." He said.
"Hehehe, I already told you...I'm not spending the night. As matter of fact, I was only going to stay for one more hour, and that hour was up...an hour ago."
"Come on." Dustin kissed my neck, and gave me a pleading look as his eyes reconnected to mine. "Stay with me. Don't leave. I can put on some music or something."
It was a difficult task, saying no to those sparkling blue eyes. But me just being here was a bad idea. I should have been MUCH more careful. "Sorry. Really. I should go. But we'll have more time soon, ok?"
"Awwww.....dude, come on..."
"Shhhhh...come on, get up. I've gotta get dressed.
He paused for a second, and then playfully rolled over on top of me, as though his featherweight body could prevent me from leaving. "Hey!!!" Dustin said excitedly, making me grin as I knew he was having another one of his spontaneous ideas.
"Hehehe...yes?"
"We should take a shower together before you go." He said with a wicked smile. "Dude...that would totally rock."
"Where do you come up with this shit?" I asked.
"Hey, I've been dreaming about this for a long time now. I kinda want to do it right, you know?" He said, then he got up and rolled off the edge of the bed to show me a perfect dismount. "Come ON! Get up! I'll get the water nice and hot for us!" He giggled, pulling on my arm.
My body was sooooo comfortable at that second. All I wanted to do was lay there and bask in the afterglow of the most glorious and meaningful session of sex I've ever had in my life. But....Dustin's youthful energy was SO addictive! How could I resist? He motioned for me to join him, his stiff rod sticking straight up at a sharp angle, all ready to go again. I got up with a grunt, these slightly older bones of mine trying to keep up, and allowed him to drag me by the hand, completely naked, towards the bathroom so that we could shower together. Hehehe, hey, this was his fantasy, I was just a willing participant in it. Who was I to resist?
Dustin bent over to turn on the faucets and test the water. I was lost in a neverending stare, soaking up every delicate detail of his slender body. His hips were barely visible, with only a slight indentation where his sides and flat stomach were sucked in to make him even more perfect. His long legs were so well shaped, and they led up to the most beautiful ass I've ever seen. God, it was scrumptious. It pouted out at the bottom, the globes so soft and so full, two tear shaped mounds with a tight line down the center. His back and shoulders were strong, and you could see the muscles move when his hands ran under the water. Every inch of him was magic, and I felt privalleged to be given his permission to actually touch and taste that magnificence.
He shook his hand off, and turned around to take my hand. "Let me know if it's too hot, ok?" He said, and he kissed me on the lips before climbing in. He practically 'pulled' me in with him, and I laughed at how little control I had over this little decision of his. He was beaming with excitement as I stepped in, and he reached over me to adjust the shower head. "Is it ok? Cause if it's too hot I can cool it down."
"It's fine, Dustin. Hehehe, it's great."
"Cool..." He said, and I glanced down at his erection, which was straining and bouncing all on its own. He seemed much more comfortable about being naked in front of me this time, and slightly more welcome to take the initiative. He stepped closer to me, and wrapped his soft feminine finges around my growing hardness, his eyes closing as his lips reached out for mine. His tongue begged for entrance right away, and we found ourselves locked in another passionate kiss as the warm water cascaded down over our shoulders. I could feel Dustin slowly stroking me, the water making his palm slippery as it traveled up and down my inches. I was almost afraid to touch him. I knew that two strokes of my hand would probably make his hairtrigger climax shoot a hole right through the bathroom tile! But....wow...it was throbbing with so much desperation. I was afraid that if I didn't touch it he'd 'sprain' something. So I reached down and slowly allowed my fingers to close around the rigid shaft. He gasped, his knees buckling as the anxious organ spasmed in my hand and stood up at an even sharper angle...before relaxing a bit. Dustin was panting alredy, and was humping himself into my hand while he tried to keep his lips attached to mine.
He was overflowing with sexual tension, and was rising up on his tip toes already. I hadn't even moved my hand yet. But just holding it was driving him crzy to the point where his movements and kissing became awkward and unsynchronized. Hehehe, it didn't even look comfortable for him, despite his enjoyment. I backed off a bit, and gave him the chance to calm down a bit. I smiled at him as he tried to figure out what he did 'wrong'. "I'm sorry."
"Shhhh..." I told him. "Here. Come here." I took his hand gently to pull him close. He tried to kiss me again, but I kept pulling to let him know that it wasn't what I had in mind. Instead, I switched places with him and had Dustin face the showerhead while I stood behind him. He wanted this to be a fantasy, and that's exactly what I plan to give him. Dustin sighed as I reached for the soap and began rub it across his chest...letting my palms run gently back and forth over his erect nipples. He melted into me, his head leaning back on my shoulder as I worked up a sensual lather and rubed large circles on his heaving stomach. I felt his shakey legs fight for the ability to stand still, and I lowered my lips to kiss him on the side of the neck.
"Omigod...." He whispered, and his soft round ass jutted outwards to press against me. I was so hard that I could feel it in my stomach, and I couldn't help but wrap my arms around his trim center and pull him tight against my chest. He moaned outloud, and my hands traveled back up his sides to wash him further. Up and down, up and down, the steam of the shower rising up around us, Dustin's sleek frame getting sooooo slippery, soooo wet. He was hard to hold onto. He nearly slipped right out of my embrace a few times. His body quivered in anticipation, and I licked at his neck and cheeks, finally pressing my lips to his again as he melted even further into me. I could feel my hardness being gripped by the valley between his bouncy cheeks, and Dustin loved the feel of it...his hips rolling against me, moving up and down to pleasure me. I could feel the contracting muscles in his tight abdomen flex as he continued to tease me with that sweet ass of his, nd I once again had to ask myself if any of this was real. If I could have possibly stumbled into the greates love, sex, and friendship, of my life all at the same time. I think I've used up every last bit of good karma that I had coming for the next three lifetimes.
Dustin's sapling body felt like wet rubber in my arms, and I could have stayed here like this for hours if I could. But the fact of the matter is, we wouldn't be able to hear anybody coming up the driveway, or even entering the house, from the shower. So I should start cutting this short. I took my left hand, and wrapped it tight around Dustin's chest, holding him firmly as my soapy right hand traveled down to lather up his balls and inner thighs. He practically squealed when I began to slide up towards the sensitive head of his shaft. His foot slipped a little, and his knees became too weak for him to stand, which is exactly why I braced him so tightly. He leaned forward, letting the water run through his soft blond hair, washing over his pretty face as I began to stroke him slowly. Oh wow, the long passonate whine that came out of that boy when I started masturbating him was like music to my ears. It was high pitched, natural, sensual...accompanied with a rotation of his hips that would rival the movements of most professional porn stars. I held him tight as his hands reached out to balance himself against the wall. I moved in even closer behind him, missing his body heat, and I hugged him while tracing small kisses on his back and shoulders. The very tip of my erection was rubbing up and down between the soaking wet mounds of flesh being presented to me, and as it dipped down lower in the crack, it was stopped by a small opening...flooded with soap and water, the heated entrance was closed tight...but I could feel myself gliding over it, making Dustin yelp quietly as he felt it. I dipped my knees a little, and felt my hardness slide long the inside of his thigh, to reach out and poke lustfully at the back of his low hanging sack. Dustin raised up on his toes a bit, and pushed back at me as both of our erections slid back and forth against one another. His balls rested on either side of me, and I nearly came from the sensation. Dustin was getting close, and had to rise back up to a standing position, his snug little bottom pressing into me again, his hips trying to push themselves further into my slippery grip, his arms raising up to reach behind him and entangle themselves in my wet hair. He didn't know what sensation he loved more, so he tried to indulge in them all. My inches slipped back up to a standing position as well, feeling his tight cleft clutching at me with their smooth surface. I suckled at his earlobe as he grinded back into me, and we both hissed from the pleasure of the moment. And then...when he couldn't take anymore, Dustin began to shiver violently, huffing and puffing as his unpracticed muscles tried to prolong his ejaculation for just a FEW seconds more!
"Oh God....oh God...oh shit....!" His whole body tightened up, and his taut ass cheeks gripped my hardness like a catcher's mitt as I sped up my hand motions and sucked harder at his neck. I felt the familiar pulses in his shaft, and he whimpered helplessly as the big show began. My hand was suddenly covered with long thick streams of his juices, most of it spraying the wall and streaming down. My goodness he shot a lot! And HARD! I can barely remember when my orgasms were that...'productive'. He could have impregnated a HORSE if he wanted to! Jesus! Dustin's body collapsed, and it almost felt like he was fighting to get free from me. But it was all involuntary, his teenage body trying hard to hold on as the climax hit him like a bolt of lightning. It was like trying to hold onto a greased up baby seal, but I managed to keep him from falling to his knees.
When he was finally finished, he was breathing like he had just finished a ten mile run. His face was dark red, and he had to reach back out to the wall as his body tried to get rid of the leftover tingles. I let him rest for a few seconds, and then asked him, "Hehehe, you ok?"
At first, he just nodded his head, unable to regain a full grip on reality again. Then he turned around, a dreamy look in hi tired eyes, and he practically 'fell' forward as he hugged me around the neck to thank me. "Hahaha! I take it you liked it, then?" I felt him nod his head again as his chin rested on my shoulder, and he used the hug to once again hide his 'loss of cool' in front of me, trying to get his emotions back under control before speaking to me with a shakey voice. I can't tell you how much I LOVE this boy! I've never been so uplifted before in my LIFE! And no matter how WRONG it is for me to even BE here...I don't ever want it to stop! Do you hear me? I tried to hate myself, I tried to hold back my true feelings, and I tried my best to not give in...but I LOVE him! I seriously LOVE him! And with him loving me back, neither one of us having any intention of hurting the other, all of my old excuses cease to work on me. All of my reasons for saying no are gone...and any guilty feelings that were leftover were outshined by the brightness of my own smile.
What the hell have I gotten my heart into now?
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