Date Posted:18:22:49 10/10/07 Wed Author:Comicality Subject: October 10th, 2001
There is a new update today, but I wanted to give the mailing list a try. It's important to rech you guys for this.
Anyway, first things first. There is a new "Billy Chase" chapter today, as well as a new section added to "Savage Moon". (Something on the Library erased Part Eight yesterday, and I don't know what it was. BUT expect that to be fixed within the hour) There is more "GFD" this weekend, and "Billy Chase" is rolling right along in 'syndication' every Tuesday and Thursday on Nifty these days. Don't worry, I'm working overtime on all this and more! So, when you get a chance go check it all out. Cool?
One other thing....
Today is October 10th...and for the "Shack", that is an official holiday, albeit a sad one. For those of you who have been around for a while, you may remember in 2001 that I had a very close friend in real life who had taken his own life a day after I had just seen him. After I had just given him a hug and a smile. He was like a baby brother to me, in every sense of the word, and to say that I don't still miss him, six years later, would be an outright lie. He had an unforgettable smile, believe me. You guys would have loved him. I did.
Today, it feels strange to say it, but it doesn't hurt like it used to. It aches a bit, and there are a few momentary losses of concentration where the emotion reminds me that he's never coming back...but it doesn't really break me down the way it used to. And it feels really good to look back in my mind, and see his 'smile'...instead of imagining him in that dark place. It feels good to think about him and know that my angel is safe. And he's keeping me safe. After six years, that's all the comfort I have.
As I always ask every year since his passing, I am asking again that you take this week to really TRULY look at the people around you. The people you meet on the street. The people you see in school. The people you see at work. The people on the message boards you visit or talk to in chatrooms. And pay attention. Take a few seconds, and see if they're crying out for help. If they're looking for a friend. If they're a quarter short for the bus. If hey're being picked on or bullied. Or if they just need somebody to notice them in a world full of selfish assholes who are so cocerned with what they'll 'get out of' helping someone else, that they sit back and watch them go down the drain. A moment to smile, to ask someone how they're feeling, to call an old friend, to write an email, to answer a post, to hand write a letter, or share your lunch.....it costs you NOTHING!!! Absolutely nothing! STOP WAITING FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT!!! **YOU** are the voice tha somebody needs to hear right now! Not somebody else....YOU! I made the mistake of thinking that I could let things take care of themselves, or that I could be there when I finished what I was working on, or that things will work themselves out somehow in the end. That's not always the case. I have tragic proof of that, and something as simple as a phone call or an extra few seconds put into a friendly hug....could have maybe chnged his mind. If only for one more day.
Yeah, I know I seem psycho because I'm running around online everyday and taking on an insane amount of bullshit and have become about as dependable as a bolt of lightning hitting a tree stump twice in the same storm...but I'll never go another day without at least trying to make a difference to SOMEBODY. I screw up more than most, and don't always mke it, but you better believe that I'm TRYING with everything I have to give! Because, in the slight chance that something that I have to say may be 'exactly' what someone needs to hear at THAT particular time to save their LIFE.....I don't ever want to have to look at myself in the mirror and say that I dropped the ball. Or I didn't answer that email because I wanted ten more minutes of sleep. Or that I didn't think I had anything important to say, I was shy, I was dealing with my own stuff, I didn't feel like it, I was at a party, or I forgot. If that's the case, I'm practically giving them the razor blades and turning my back.
It costs you nothing, ok? I'll stop being preachy...but I can't save everyone. And I cant reach the people that are sitting right in front of you, feeling like nobody cares. You have to do it. Or....
You have to make the conscious choie to ignore it.
But whatever your decision...you don't ever want to lose someone and wonder if you could have done more. It's a feeling that will haunt you the rest of your life. Even six years afterwards, when you're finally finding the courage to smile again.
If you guys want to read my dedications to him, you can find "My One Fallen Angel" (http://comicality.gayauthors.org/angel.php) and "Dedication" (http://comicality.gayauthors.org/webplus/angel.php) right here on the website. Even if you read it before, read it again. You wanna change the world? Tap the shoulder of the person next to you, and tell them you give a damn. That's really all it takes.
This is for you "C"! Forever and always. I know you're watching, dude....and I hope you're still proud. Until we meet again....I love you.
Seezya.....
=WORDS NOT MINE, YET MINE=
"Just when...I'm inches away from losing my mind. That's when...I swear sometimes...I hear your voice inside my head. And it feels like you're everywhere. Everywhere I am. Just when....the walls are closing in on my world, that's when....I see my favorite girl. I hear you sing inside my head. And it tells me that you're everywhere. Everywhere I am."
