VoyForums
Oklahoma Disaster Relief










American Red Cross
Together, we can save a life


See Kare11.com's page for more ways to contribute.

VoyForums Notice -- Quick Contributions:
Donate $10 to the Red Cross: Text the word REDCROSS to 90999
Donate $10 to the Salvation Army: Text the word STORM to 80888
* The charge will appear on your cellphone bill.

[ VoyUser Login optional ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, [8], 9 ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 03:33:01 09/26/04 Sun
Author: depressamoy - 18 Aug 2004
Subject: Re: Another view
In reply to: hvzw - 18 Aug 2004 's message, "Another view" on 03:30:57 09/26/04 Sun


Wow! Such fast replies. Wasn't expecting that. Thanks to the first replier - I'm actually doing almost all of what you've suggested, bar the organic diet.

And to you, my oddly designated all-consonant friend... yeah.

That's what I'm thinking.

Actually I'm fairly certain that I have a really lengthy past-life history of killing myself, just over and over. And that this is the incarnation in which I've chosen to work through all that karma. So I keep getting pulled into that territory, into reliving, in a way, on an energetic or subtle-body level, the violence I've inflicted on myself in lives gone by. And actually... I kind of feel that the kriya isn't causing a mental illness, per se... it's more like it's been giving me the strength and awareness and resilience to work through increasingly deep and intense levels of really bad karma.

I belong to the PY lineage.

And, y'know... I haven't really done that much kriya. I got the initiation, started out with the standard 14 morning and evening, went to 24 for a few months, then to 36, morning and evening, went out to Hidden Valley for a couple of weeks at the end of 1996, and when I got back - kablammo, wildly intense negative karma began to descend. Six months later I was in a psych ward. My practice kinda fell apart at that point. After getting diagnosed and loaded up with lithium and antidepressants, I gradually put things back together and resumed my practice, at 36... but then a couple of years later... kablammo again, this time much worse than before... wound up in the hospital again at the end of 1999, for five weeks... got out, new medications, gradually stitched myself back together... gradually resumed a pretty intermittent practice... then in 2002... yes... down I went again... for ten months, not on any medications, and then that whole episode spontaneously resolved itself around Christmas 2002. Just all went away within a handful of days, which was revelatory.

Picked up my practice after that... and bla bla bla... but the point is... I really haven't DONE that much kriya, and haven't had a really regular daily practice since 1997. It's been this cycle of progress, collapse, disintegration, regeneration, further progress, bigger collapse, etc.

I'm actually hoping that with this last episode... which began last August and has continued on for a year... that I'm down to the core of it and can dissolve the karma.

Anyway.

Am I rambling? I don't mean to ramble. This has all just been wildly scary and freaky. And none of the psychiatrists that I've been to have had any clue of what I was talking about, when I tried to explain anything about yoga, meditation, past lives, etc. It seemed fairly clear to me that anything I said about such things tended to increase their "clearly he's crazy" perspective.

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[ Contact Forum Admin ]

Forum timezone: GMT-8
VF Version: 2.94, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2012 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.