| Subject: PRAYER REQUEST |
Author: Vicky [Edit]
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Date Posted: 07:39:40 06/04/09 Thu
My name is Vicky - I stay in Pretoria, South Africa.
I was a foster child, my biological parents abused us, and we got sent to foster care all the rest of our childhood.
When I grew up, I keep meeting the "wrong men" in my life. All my days with every man, just went about HIS gain, they were not Christians, and I keep walking away empty handed after just being abused and used every time.
I was married for 12 years to Eddie, also just being neglected, abused, and his mother did witchcraft, and he drank too much. I kept praying, thinking this might help, nothing changed. It turned out in the end, after consulting a psycologist, and each of us doing the same test seperately with her, that my husband at the time, was bi-sexual. I kept asking God WHY I kept praying, praying, and He kept on "allowing" this man to treat me this way.....I met another man (Krim) that showed so much interest in me, and I left my ex husband for him, without any answer on my prayers there. However, not long, then his selfishness also took over our whole relationship. I kept praying for him as well, with God that kept "allowing' him to treat me this way also.....I walked out of there, no answer to millions of prayers there as well, with my 2 daughters, having to stay with my parents, while I could only afford a room to stay in. I lost everything again.
After all this hurt and broken life, I took a sabatical from all men for a year, and I kept praying that God would send "the right man" for me this time.
Shortly afterwards, I met a Christian man, Danie, and I thought my whole life with him would be so different this time. we stayed together in sin, and everything went wrong.....we made a commitment to God to get married, and NOT live in sin any more. We got married, and since that "move", nothing has been a blessing for me (once more). This looks no different than what I had with non-Christians.
Danie is a divorced advocate, (only 3 months divorced when I met him) with also 2 daughters, not staying with us, while my 2 came back to me, but is also not happy with our situation not improving........I lost all my happiness and joy in life, just have to live for him, he is quite controlling, although he is in denial about this. He's also busy denying the fact that I don't see him getting "over" his past, with him looking as if he's still in love with his ex, and just got married to me to "spite" her.....but maybe realised only later how much he misses her, and their life together (she cheated on him).
He did NOTHING within our marraige, to make me feel like part of him, shared nothing, placed everything in TRUST, where HE is the sole signee, and I have NO say over anything here any more. I even believed him when he told me to make MY life "easier" I should leave my job, and I did that, for our relationship. however, since I did that, I feel totally in HIS control now. I never wanted to grow old like this. I am just 36 now, and have so much life ahead of me still, but all I do, is stay OUT of HIS way the whole week every week, as he shuts me out of his life completely the whole week every week, and then expects me to be his wife again when it gets to the week-ends, in the mean time, I just keep his house clean, I just look into HIS eyes for every sent I use, I just look after his kids every holiday when he has to go to work.....then I have to stay home and watch them, while mine is nearly both out of the house now. I feel as if I'm making ALL the sacrifices again, with NO JOY coming to me, he doesn't enjoy doing things with me, have all his "socials" on his own, whenever we do something, it is always something that he already did with someone else first. He treats me like a total stranger the whole week. I have spoken to him about it, he knows how I feel about it, but just carries on like this with me (looks and feels the SAME as my previous marraige). I keep praying here constantly as well, but just see the Christian guy also just being "allowed" to carry on treating me this way. It keeps feeling as if Danie is also "cheating" on me the whole week with someone at work.
I need lots of prayer please.
I need to be able to know that I have GOD to be my provider (not my husband) and not "making" a God of my husband, as he wants it. I need God to open doors for me with my own finances, I also need God to DELIVER us from this evil coming against me in this marraige again (I suspect it might be some work colleagues where Danie works seducing him). I need God to make HIS way for my life and my future. I don't know how long I can "hang on" in just some MORE of this type of abuse and hurt, although we have only been married for 9 months now. Just see what we LOOK LIKE already !!! I need URGENT prayers please, for Danie, for me, for my two daughters suffering once more, not knowing where our "tomorrow" would lead us to, (Mandy and Camile). Camile is my youngest, and she just lost faith along the years, telling me....."how many nights did you pray away, and God does nothing for us...."? I don't know how to answer her, as my life doesn't seem to improve, and God even allowed another nice drinking session and "party" for Danie again last night.......he's not even talking to me this whole week again, after I prayed the whole 9 months already every day for God's protection over our marraige. My youngest fell pregnant now, and she's not even staying with us any more (I miss her so), but I can't turn anything back. I suspect she did it to get out of our home, where Danie was victimising her always.
God Bless, and I thank you for sincere, urgent, deep prayers for us.
Love,
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