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Date Posted: 12:13:54 03/19/13 Tue
Author: GoodWillTalking
Subject: Today's Facebook Post 3/18/13

War and Peace Alert!

I love you guys more than you could ever imagine (genuinely). It's taken me a few days to touch base, but you knew this was coming. Some surprises from my latest chemo session. The nurse had this incredibly worried look on her face when she took my weight, so I thought, oh great, I gained weight, but it was a weight LOSS of 11 pounds since my last treatment (John kept trying to tell me that I was losing weight, but I didn't notice). She looked at me and asked me if I was eating or not. I was honest and explained that I seem to only want these natural's soda's lately (no High Fructose Corn Syrup, Natural Spring Water, Natural Ingredients, etc). I stopped drinking soda's once I got into my twenties, and only drank them every now and then. Shortly after Chemo began, I can't seem to get enough of Hank's Black Cherry Soda (good is putting it mildly as NOTHING comes even close), Fever Tree's Ginger Beer (best stuff in the world, and actually good for you), Sioux City Sarsaparilla, Sioux City Cream Soda, Appalachian Root Beer, Pellegrino Sparkling Water, and Perrier Sparkling Water! That's been my diet of choice, although I do get in a meal once a day. I don't have every one of these a day, but that's what my fridge is stocked up with!

I told my Oncologist, and although he would prefer that I don't drink much of this daily, he admits that if it's all I can tolerate, than I must do what I can to get stuff down. He made a mention of Ketones in my urine and both John and I can't remember if he said something like, well, at least you don't have Ketones yet or that I did (It's been haunting me a little). I will call and clarify (meanwhile I bought testing strips from Amazon for my own Ketone testing and more). I know my blood sugar is high, and I am constantly thirsty, (and suddenly losing a lot of weight), which could mean I am no longer a borderline diabetic. PRAYING THIS IS NOT THE CASE. They test my urine for overload on protein as one of my Chemo's (Abraxane) is Albumin/protein based).

I am loading up on more Cinnamon, and trying to cut back on the soda's by using more Pellegrino. Food is not what I want. I don't even feel like eating now, but I just want these super cold drinks over ice. They actually make me feel better too, but the last thing I thought in the world would be, that I would lose so much weight by doing so! I refuse to drink diet drinks as those chemicals are more dangerous than sugar. I am about to try Virgil's bottled Zero, which are hard to find (must be ordered on Amazon) that are made with Stevia only (no nasty Erythritol)! I'll let you know how they are. Zevia's had me gagging (and they use Erythritol).

The new three week regimen seems to be agreeing with me as my blood pressure was 124/83! That's such a huge difference from readings like 188/98! They keep explaining that the chemo's I am on will raise blood sugar and blood pressure, but it doesn't make you feel any less worried with the numbers I've been getting (finally-a good number)! That painful, Fungal Infection is back (and I know the sugar doesn't help, but I was getting fungal infections from my first treatment of chemo before all the sugary drinks). This one feels like someone took a blow torch to me. Not a fun weekend. The Fluconazole is not working, so my Oncologist (he really is my hero in so many ways) called in what my OB-GYN initially wanted for me once he saw how bad this was (Ketaconazole). My Oncologist is not fond of this drug, and says it interacts with everything, so that's why we tried the Fluconazole twice, but it's just not working (and Fluconazole already made me feel like crap, so I have no idea how I will do on the Ketaconazole yet). John just picked up the script for me (200mg's for 14 days with refills)! I can already here you now about the sugar Jeremy and you are so right (I know my friend....I really do). I know you are only looking out for me. These cravings are beyond anything I have ever known in my life. I am upping the Cinnamon and keeping it as steady as possible (along with Bitter Melon and Alpha Lipoic Acid).

Still having constant nosebleeds and sores inside my nose, but a few things are helping me. Pencil eraser sized bruises on my abdomen, The intestinal stuff is still a nightmare, but that's from the chemo, and the Lomitol does help. Had nausea with vomiting, which I had not had before, but that seems to be in check for now. The worst for me is the pain and weakness. Taking my shower every morning should not be some major effort, but I feel like I ran a marathon each time (and I have no hair anymore, so it should be a breeze). One of the nurses always calls me beautiful (never uses my name when she sees me) and that always makes me cry because I don't feel very beautiful right now. So many of you have thanked me for being so brutally honest about what I am going through with this nightmare, and that has meant a lot to me. I have been incredibly honest with you every step of the way. I did this because I honestly thought it might help someone else one day who finds themselves with this rare cancer or just sees themselves in me and realizes that it's perfectly natural to be scared, angry, and even downright negative sometimes, because you are the one being pumped with these poisons, and you are the one dealing with how sick you feel. Patrick Swayze, Michael Landon, Farrah Fawcett, and many more all had incredibly positive attitudes, but cancer is a monster, that took them away despite all that positive energy. If you don't feel positive, it's completely normal, and to be expected! Feel what you feel because it's you who is suffering. All those cute anecdotes go right out the window when it's you (trust me)! I was so positive when I was doing my radio shows, and using all natural remedies, until I ran out of options and knew that chemo was my last card to play. Sometimes I see that girl, but not as often as I would like. The chemicals take a lot out from you.

One thing that I was not prepared for is that my Oncologist wants to wait for a while before doing a new PET Scan. I honestly thought he would order one now, but I think he wants to keep watching my lesion as a bit of a guide, and giving me more time on the chemo. That's fine with me because PET Scans leave me a nervous wreck! Trust me, he is a true hero. He is the one doctor that never gave up on me and called my case hopeless. The other hospitals that we spent a lot of time and energy with all sent me home to die. He has never given up on me and that has helped me to not give up on myself. There are days that I am honestly so miserable that I just don't see the point anymore of carrying on with this, but he is always there with an alternate plan. God bless you. You are what every doctor should be out there. One of a kind......♥

And Dr.________________ wanted to say that he was so sorry to have missed you Catherine Hickland (Cat)! He said the hospital was apparently buzzing though! LOL! They were trying to remain professional, but the fill in Oncologist really loved our talk together, and the blonde nurse who was putting on my first bag of chemo said for me to tell you that you are positively gorgeous (that's an understatement)! I will never forget that day. I think of you, and you give me enormous strength. Such a lovely, genuine, and truly beautiful soul. I love you girl! Now and always! John sends his love in huge bundles! Much love to you and Todd! XOXOXO! ♥

In any event, it's back to bed with me, and a little television. Thank you for standing with me always. Thank you for the incredible pictures and beautiful notes out here on my page! I love you. XOXO! ♥

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Replies:

[> Re: Today's Facebook Post 3/18/13 -- Donna, 07:56:04 03/20/13 Wed [1]

Hi Ravenbeauty! Just wnted to tell you about two brands of flavored water with no artificial sweeteners - Hint and OWater. They just use natural fruit flavoring. Might be hard to find but I know Owater is on Amazon. But they both have 0 calories, and you need energy, so I am wishing for you some nausea-free days when you can down some milkshakes!! You are super-strong - hang in there!


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[> Re: Today's Facebook Post 3/18/13 -- Hannah ((((healing light and love)))), 07:34:48 03/22/13 Fri [1]

(((Dearest Ravenbeauty)))

Guardian Angels directed you into the hands of your present genius & compassionate doctor - - - you will understand when I say that I have an unshakeable feeling about this. :)

You are in his hands for a reason - to win this battle!
Millions of kind people care about you, and encircle you with the healing light of their prayers. You know I'm one of them.
Love you dearly!
Hannah


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