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Date Posted: 22:48:28 10/26/11 Wed
Author: Ravenbeauty
Subject: Pathology in............................
In reply to: Ravenbeauty 's message, "Update on my surgery." on 01:50:29 10/22/11 Sat

Hey Guys,

I really needed a little time after talking to my doctor yesterday before updating. Many emotions (anger, frustration, exhaustion). They not only found Epitheloid Angiosarcoma in both breasts, but they also found Infiltrating Ductal Carcinoma in the right breast (what I originally had very young in my twenties in my left breast...my original cancer). It was hiding right in the center of my right breast (so much for the Mammogram and Ultrasound I had done just prior). Not even the PET scan picked it up. Thankfully, it was small 1.2 cm, but I am refusing chemo. There is no way I can do chemo for many reasons (trust me they are solid reasons). Even crazier is that now they want to do a Sentinal node biopsy, but you need your breasts to do this correctly and they are now gone (we didn't expect to find regular infiltrating breast cancer or they would have done it before surgery). Because I already have Lymphadema in my left arm from the original cancer, I am not going to compromise my right arm too. These are tough decisions, but I need to what's best for me. Luckily, the secondary cancer they found (who walks around with two different forms of cancer in their breasts) was not pushing margins and was caught seemingly early. I am going to take that and run with it. It's all I have so I will take it.

Going today for follow up and more discussion with my doctor (they are having a meeting about my case this morning before I go in). She did grab a node that was easy to grab as it was right there when they were removing the right breast, so they took it and it was negative (they just don't know if it was a sentinal or not). I am going to take this as a good sign for now and leave well enough alone. I honestly and truthfully cannot handle much more right now (really can't). I'm so done with this whole thing. They sent the left breast (the one with all the visible Angiosarcoma) in for more testing, but it had permeated deeper into my breast and they just need better notes on the margins (so the jury is still not completely in on that one just yet, but we think we are OK there). Just trying to process all of this right now. Getting low grade fevers so we may need to up my antibiotics. I'm angry now and maybe that's to be expected. Disgusted is more like it. I will keep you posted. Thank you for taking the time to reach out and leave such incredibly beautiful notes on my wall. Although I have honestly not caught up yet, I will. <3

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Replies:

[> [> Re: Pathology in............................ -- Kelly, 23:57:29 10/26/11 Wed [1]

Keeping you in my prayers for a speedy recovery and that the surgery was successful. Grab the positive and hold on to that!


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[> [> I am still praying for you. -- Belinda, 01:16:44 10/27/11 Thu [1]

Its hard to know what to say Raven. I just want you to know I am here for you and praying. It sounds stupid but try and be positive. But I know I would be mad too.
Big hug.


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[> [> [> Re: I am still praying for you. -- Nancy (angry), 12:22:55 10/27/11 Thu [1]

I am praying for you Raven. I am angry for you and for all the other cancer patients out there. I feel terrible that anyone has to go through this kind of pain and anguish. Do what is best for YOU. Thanks for sharing your personal struggle with us. We're here if you need us for anything. Praying and sending healing thoughts and strength your way.


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[> [> Re: Pathology in............................ -- rapido (Love to you), 02:58:49 10/27/11 Thu [1]

Ravenbeauty, my thoughts and prayers are with you. Take a little time to reflect, revisit treatment options when you are feeling better. I totally understand you are overwhelmed and you have every right to feel anger. Life is so unfair. Love to you.


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[> [> Raven, I -- LAwoman, 03:08:35 10/27/11 Thu [1]

am blown away by your strength. What you have been describing would turn me into a blubbering heap on the floor. And here you are typing updates. I know you will make the decisions that are right for you and won't let anyone pressure you into doing something you aren't willing to do. Whatever course of action you take, you have tons of support. As always, girl--I love you.


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[> [> Re: Pathology in............................ -- Tamalemama, 03:34:11 10/27/11 Thu [1]

Raven, A few simple words.... WE LOVE YOU!


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[> [> Re: Pathology in............................ -- AllyG, 03:47:39 10/27/11 Thu [1]

Raven I am so sorry to hear that you did not have better news from your pathology reports. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Do what you need to do for yourself and know that there are lots of people out there pulling for you.

Ally


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[> [> Re: Pathology in............................ -- Monika, 06:01:49 10/27/11 Thu [1]

Raven, I'm so sorry about the curve balls you are being thrown. It stinks. Do you have more info yet on the type of histological subtype of the IDC? That may provide key information on staging and some reassurance.

Given your extremely rare form of cancer, are your doctors consulting with Sloan Kettering?

What about radiation?

I'm a cancer survivor myself, and am keeping you in my thoughts. I know how hard it is. When I was first diagnosed, I rejected chemo as a friend of mine had his bone marrow destroyed by chemo, and died after a bone marrow transplant. I was finally persuaded, and suffered every known complication to chemo known. By my last course of chemo, I barely made it through. So, I get it.

I actually knew someone with epithelioid sarcoma (on a finger), and so every time I sit down at our dining table, I think of you (she gave it to us).

Hugs, and good luck!!!! <3


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[> [> Re: Pathology in............................ -- Meg, 06:29:06 10/27/11 Thu [1]

Thank you so much for keeping us in the loop. I praying that when the rest of the pathology comes in it will bring encouraging news.


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[> [> Re: Pathology in............................ -- CM, 09:31:49 10/27/11 Thu [1]

Raven, what a test the universe is giving you right now. Thank you for reminding me that we are all connected. Please be as angry as you want!! All I can do is send good thoughts. You are quite inspiring to me. In the end, what will be will be. Your spirit and strength will guide you. I have faith in you.


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[> [> Re: Pathology in............................ -- Sue, 11:06:02 10/27/11 Thu [1]

So God is giving you anger...use it!!! Use it against the intruder in your body! And use us to vent if need be!

The prayer chain has just begun....we surround you with our hopes and prayers...the world around. You are not alone any second of the day.


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[> [> Re: Pathology in............................ -- JohnB, 11:32:12 10/27/11 Thu [1]

Raven, I'm so sorry that the news that you received wasn't as good as we've all prayed for. I pray that the doctor's have used their talents to the best of their abilities and that they have removed all of the cancer so that you can make a full and complete recovery. Everyone can understand how you are feeling angry and disgusted after all that you've been through. We hope you can take that anger and use that fighting spirit of yours to triumph over this. Sending prayers, good wishes and hugs out to you.


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[> [> Re: Pathology in............................ -- Anonymous, 13:09:22 10/27/11 Thu [1]

Stay optimistic and steadfast. Take it one step at a time. Do what the doctors say but also use your common sense. I have a gut feeling that its going to turn out all right. Big hug.


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[> [> [> Re: Pathology in............................ -- Guest, 23:29:07 10/27/11 Thu [1]

My Prayers are with you


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[> [> Sending you a cyber hug -- Spideymom, 01:31:11 10/29/11 Sat [1]


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[> [> Re: Pathology in............................ -- Allison, 01:50:15 10/29/11 Sat [1]

Raven, hang in there! You are so brave. Most of us can't even begin to imagine what you are experiencing. Thank you for sharing your story. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hope you begin to feel better very soon.


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