Create a New Forum Owner Login Contribute & Create Your Member account VoyUser Login (see contribute) VoyForums Directory/Categories No-ads: Completely remove ads from your forum VoyForums Homepage VoyForums News Help Desk VoyForums Exchange FAQ - Frequently Asked Questions Search VoyForums

[ VoyUser Login optional ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: [1] ]

Subject: Loss of an Adult Sibling

Author: Dawn

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 18:56:48 02/08/05 Tue Missing a Part of Me. I just read "Loss of an Adult Sibling" and if I can stop crying long enough I will tell you how much it hit home to read that. I wish more people would take the time to understand how to deal with people who have lost a loved one......I really really wanted to send that article to ALL the people in my life that told me to get on with my life and get over it after a short time......and to all the people who tried to "comfort" me with meanless Cliches' like, and this is the WORST......."I know how you Feel" OMG! I took that as an insult and total disrespect of my feelings. That is the worst thing anyone can ever say to someone who has lost someone they love. I would never want anyone to feel that kind of pain and to say they know how you feel is just a slap in the face. No they Don't and never could understand unless they themselves lost a loved one in the same tragic way. I miss my brother so very much, and I wish I could turn back time. He was only 29 years old and hit by a car while walking across a street. The car apparently came out of nowhere driven by a teenager on his cell phone. It's been 5 years now and I have gotten on with my life.....but there is never a day that I don't think about him and miss him and some days are better than others and some days are really really bad. He was the youngest of our family of 3 siblings....I'm the oldest and then there is my sister the middle child. His being gone has changed my whole familes dynamics, he was always the baby, and I was always the one that teased him and my sister was always the middle child........our whole identity's have been disrupted. I'm always fearful of something awful happening to someone else in my family now and I keep it all inside...... no one wants to hear these feelings or awful thoughts of death that I have..... I just want people to understand that grieving is a personal process for each invidual and there is no set time limit and no right or wrong way to feel. I think this article should be handed out at funerals and be required reading for anyone thinking they are there to comfort the family and pay their respects. This has been a comforting website for me to find. I guess I just wanted to vent my feelings a little bit. :o) Thanks to anyone who listened. Dawn [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> Subject: Re: Loss of an Adult Sibling

Author: Pleasant [ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 19:59:58 02/08/05 Tue Hello Dawn, Thanks for your kind words about my article. I have learned so much about adult sibling loss from the people who write in here. It sounds like your life was intertwined with your brother's in a way that made it hard to separate. It really upsets me when people seem to ignore how hard it is for siblings. Your brother's death was so senseless, and he was so young. No wonder you fear that something else might happen. It will take some time for you to trust in life again. I'm glad you did come here to vent your feelings and I hope you visit again.