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] Date Posted: 21:41:46 01/05/06 Thu Hello, im not sure if this is only an adult boared but i cant find a teenage one so this should do. 2 and a half months ago i watched my fiveyear old brother die in a sudden tragic accident. He was like my own son as i helped my mother in raising him. he was the most beautiful and intelligent child i have ever met and it just doesn't seem fair. The reason why i am posting is because i have no one else to talk to as everyone is effected and i am realising already that i am becoming paranoid and scared. I have already missed out on my first term of year 12 due to it occuring at my school and although i want to get excellent results for my HSC i have lost my drive to succeed and do my work. Can someone who has experienced something similar contact and tell me that they went on with there lives and that i will too. [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |
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Author: Pat [Edit] |
Date Posted: 06:38:06 01/06/06 Fri I am so sorry about your brother. It is a terrible loss and at a time when you are on the verge of many changes in your life. Several of us here lost siblings when we were your age -- it does take time before you can move on with your life and concentrate. I had terrible marks in school the year after my brother's death. Your grief is still very fresh, so I know it must feel as though things will never be normal again. You will enjoy life again, believe me. Please come back and write to us again. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Mary [Edit] |
Date Posted: 20:23:23 01/06/06 Fri Hello, Yes, Pat is right...many of us lost our siblings when we were young. My grades and school activities suffered the year after my sister died. It must be especially hard to lose your brother that you helped to take care of. Can you talk to your mom about your feelings of grief and how you feel about school? This group is for all ages, there might even be someone that reads or posts to this board that is near your age. Please write again and let us know how you are doing. take care, Mary [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Katharine [Edit] |
Date Posted: 03:20:59 01/07/06 Sat Hi, To the teenager who lost his young brother . I assume from your email that you are an Australian because you mentioned the HSC . I am an Australian as well and lost my brother many years when I was 19 through sudden illness . It can be particularly difficult as a teenager when you don't know anybody else who has been in the situation you are in . I am very sorry to hear about your brother's death and I am sure that what you are feeling is perfectly normal under the circumstances . My advice to you would be that you seek professional help - one option might be to contact the school counsellor - they will be able to recommend you to somebody who you can talk to . It would be confidential . But its really important to find somebody whether its a friend or older adult . Please don't feel that you need to go through this experience on your own . Its going to take a long time before you feel better . [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Zoe [Edit] |
Date Posted: 18:28:36 02/01/06 Wed Hey, I'm so sorry for your loss, I can empathise with your problems with school work and stuff. I've been going on boards like this throughout my late teens as I lost my bro when I was 15, I'm 20 now. I understand about the whole school thing, I ended up taking time out after year 12 and then starting again because I needed the time out desperately. I realised that I really needed to sort myself out before I dealt with school, it was hard because I had always been such a conscientious student and my grades were everything to me, but I had already dropped two subjects cos I had no energy or drive to do the studying anymore just like yourself. But the good thing is when I started back at college again I was able to study and I am on track for University now, so things will get back on track eventually, I think I just needed time to deal with my feelings and not have such a hectic routine for a while. Try and get as much support as you can and remember to look after yourself, things will get better, do post again, cos it really helps to talk it through with others who understand. Take care, Zoe x [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: crystina [Edit] |
Date Posted: 14:35:55 02/03/06 Fri Hello, I want you to know that there is someone else out there in your situation. Me. I had a 4 year old brother who a couple years ago became infected with Leukemia very quickly and passed on within a week of its spreading. It was sudden and tragic and shocking most of all. I will never forget the way I felt that year. I was entering my sophomore year of high school and going to school everyday was horrible for me. No one really knew what had happened so it was so easy for them to laugh and be happy and go on like nothing had happened. My family was broken at home. No one talked, no one smiled, none of us grieved together. I was very much alone in getting through this, so you can imagine what it was like. I remember for one week straight I actually didn't move from the couch, I just layed there staring out the window wondering if the world outside was actually real or if I was imagining everything that had happened. My brother was a very special child, like you've said with your younger sibling, he was beautiful and full of intelligence. It seemed like he'd had it all accomplished by the age of 4. I felt like I was supposed to protect him from the world, yet show him everything at the same time. I also felt like I had helped raise him. It was so hard for me to BELIEVE what had happened. As the year went on, I really leaned on my friends for support. There came a point where I wanted to remember him without crying. I know there is nothing that can bring him back, so all I can do is remember his memory and do the things I knew he would have loved to see me do. My brother was going to grow up to to great things and he always wanted me right there, he wouldnt have wanted me to sit and mope and be depressed. Its so easy to sit and cry, and feel lonely and unhappy. But I realized that my life has to go on, it taught me to value everyday and not waste a moment bc we don't know when our last will be. I am a senior now, and although I may not completely understand or want to believe he is gone, I know that I have to keep living and breathing. Don't hold back on your senior year of highschool. You are going to make wonderful memories of your own, and your little brother will be watching all along. Think of him as your guardian angel. Your friends will be by your side and don't ever be afraid to cry. Tears come along with the grief, its okay to cry sometimes bc we all get a little to full :) I hope this helped, I always wished I had someone to talk to when my brother passed on.. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Miranda-Lyn [Edit] |
Date Posted: 03:02:05 05/28/06 Sun I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. I lost my brother at the age of 6, and am now 20. I may not know exactly what your going through, but I have a pretty good idea. I lived in denial of my brothers death until I was about 12. From there on out my life went into a downward spiral. I started drugs and drinking and after my first year of highschool I dropped out. I too lost my ambition for life. Unfortunitly the pain will never go away, but you will learn to cope. It takes time, and its a hard painful road, I'm not going to lie to you. But with the support of your loved ones you will find ways to redirect that anger and pain. Trust me its hard dealing with the grief and loss of a sibling while trying to find your self, in an already tough time in your life. Everyone experiences greif in their own way so its hard to give advice in this type of situation. Please feel free to email me any time. Being a teenager going through grief is something I know all to well. Whats helped me is knowing that My brother always looked out for me and wanted me to succeed. Your brother will ALWAYS be with you in EVERYTHING that you do, and he will always be a part of you hun. Remember that he would want you to succeed. But most of all give it time. So Scream and cry journal, talk to someoneand do what ever helps you cope, because the worst thing you could do is bottle it up in side. I'm hear if you need to chat... [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Kerry (ok) [Edit] |
Date Posted: 04:39:25 09/20/06 Wed Hi, My baby sister was killed by her school bus when I was 13 and she was seven. I too suffered in school. Back in the 70's people did not get help for grief situations like that. I believe you need grief counseling in order to adapt. I finally five yrs after her death saw a psychologist for the first time. Life does get better, but there will always be a place in your heart for your brother. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Kerry (so sorry) [Edit] |
Date Posted: 23:32:01 02/08/07 Thu Hi, I experienced something very similiar when I was 13 and my sister was six. I did not see the tragic accident though. I have gone on with my life and am still going on with it. I have had to have many many hours of counseling. My sister was like my very own child too. When it happened to me there wasn't all the help there is now. It is going to take a while for you to "feel" normal. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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