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Subject: :~( Boyfriend's Loss of Father and Brother in 14 months

Author: Smiley31970

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 17:29:10 01/11/06 Wed I am writing on behalf of my wonderful boyfriend. We have been together for 3 years and those have been the most traumatic for him. In Sept 2003 he found out his father had lung cancer. He was devastated but could not really talk about the affect it had on him as he wanted to be strong for both his parents as they went through treatment. At this time my boyfriend lived in Minneapolis, MN and me in Austin, TX. Although we talked on the phone, I know he needed comfort and I was not there for him. Sept 2004, he father passed away suddenly from a heart attack. His grieving was cut short as he was in the middle of plans to move to TX. On to Nov 2005, a week before Thanksgiving my boyfriend receives a phone call that his only brother has died in a freak accident. During this same time frame add other events like buying a house, moving to a new job twice (he has had 2 different jobs in TX already) and managing a gambling addiction. I am not sure how many more life changing events he can take. Right now I am so worried about his state of mind. He is in a state of depression and has started to gamble again. He has not grieved the losses of his family, but I can tell he is hurt and alone. I am trying to find him a grief counselor, but was else can I do? Any advice? – I don’t know what to say to him as I have never lost anyone that close to me. BTW – did I mention this is not his real father and brother? Step brother and father since he was 2, so the feelings/connections are the same. He doesn’t talk about his real father either. I don’t know about anything there. My assumption is that the gambling is a symptom of feelings of abandonment from his real father and then grief from his losses in the last year. I also think all these feelings he suppresses are adding to his depression. I wish I could help him more – please help! I am lost. [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]