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Subject: :~( Sudden loss of an exceptional brother

Author: No name

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 20:51:08 10/17/06 Tue This may not be the right place to do this, i'm not sure, but I feel like I need to share my story somehow. Maybe it'll help me or make me feel better, but I doubt it. 6 months ago, yesterday, I received a call from my mom telling me my brother had not come home yet, for some reason I had this feeling in my stomach and called my friend who lived next to the hwy, and asked him if he had heard any sirens, "yes i did" he replied. That second I knew something had happend and I was the first family member to be at the site of my brother's fatal car accident. He had fallen asleep and lost control on a closed road, flipping his truck and was ejected from it dying instantly. He was only 16 years old, so athletic, and so handsome. Just that morning he had been telling me and my parents how he always falls asleep at the wheel, and when i went to work that day (as beverage cart on our golf course) i was thinking about him non-stop and wondering why I hadn't seen him out golfing at all that day. Ever since than has been a huge struggle with happiness, and concentration, because just shortly after that my mom's breast cancer had come back again, and just recently they found a brain tumor in her and she had to have brain surgery. Thankfully, it went ok and she is going through radiation and next up chemotherapy for her breast cancer, but I just feel so alone. My parents have each other, and they understand how they feel, I am up at college trying to get through each day, w/ no one who understands my aloneness, my guiltiness of not being a better sister, my anger, my sadness. everyone else has moved on w/ there lives, i just feel like i'm stuck and not going anywhere. I cry ever single night, even 6 months after. My friends try, god knows i love them for trying but its not what i need. I need my brother back, its like it hits me harder and harder with the realization that hes gone, each day. He didnt' deserve this, why does this happen to good people. I'm so angry because it should have been me, i'm 22 and have had more years of life experiences than he did, he did nothing wrong. Nothing seems to be getting better. I just dont know what to do anymore. [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

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[> Subject: Re: Sudden loss of an exceptional brother

Author: No name [Edit]

Date Posted: 05:10:24 10/18/06 Wed Yes, this is the right place to talk about your brother, and it helps, but your grief is still fresh--this will take a long time. You knew instinctively that something had happened to your brother--you must have had a really close connection. His death must have been incredibly shocking. I can't even imagine how you have coped with that and then your mother's cancer. Seems like everything happened at once. College is lonely enough without all of this on top of it. I hope that you will go and talk to the campus counselor. This is so confusing and disturbing--it's really hard to get through it on your own. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]