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Subject: Tragic Death

Author: Jan

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 04:12:26 04/14/07 Sat My friend, Patty, was killed in a traffic accident last Monday. Her 23 year old daughter was driving the car and was at least partially responsible for the accident. She spun out of control and crossed over the median into the path of a tractor trailer. Patty was life-flighted to the hospital but couldn't be revived. Her daughter's back home in her bed with a broken wrist and a badly bruised body. She knows her mother is dead, but acts like the accident never happened. I know a little about denial, but it is so shocking to experience this! I'm pretty depressed and really miss Patty. I want to be available to help her daughter, but don't know how. I figure she needs the denial right now to cope, but how long should this last? The wake is tomorrow and the funeral is the day after. When can I expect her to start grieving? Thanks for responding! Jan [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> Subject: Re: Tragic Death

Author: Pleasant [Edit]

Date Posted: 14:54:11 04/15/07 Sun Dear Jan, I'm so sorry about your friend. This is a hard time for all concerned. Life can change drastically in an instant. Right now, your friend's daughter may need her denial in order to keep on living. The guilt from being the driver when others are hurt or killed is so massive that it takes immense courage to survive it. When you are 23, you are still too young to realize that it was an accident and that we are all vulnerable to accidents, no matter how perfect we are as drivers. There is no particular time limit as to when people begin or end grieving. The whole grief process is so unique for each person. In general, however, shock comes first and the pain of grief does not hit us until the shock wears off, or until the denial is lifted. For some, that has taken years. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]