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Subject: Re: 34 YEARS OLD

Author: Paula (Waiting to breathe again!!)

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 20:36:08 09/04/07 Tue In reply to: 's message, "Re: 34 YEARS OLD" on 11:21:50 08/07/07 Tue My brother passed away 2 weeks ago (Aug. 20th) He dies from liver failure, we found out that he had hepatitis while he was in the hospital. He was a drinker and was on methadone, which I do not belive is a very good mixture!! I tried to get him help so many times, but once he got on the methadone, no treatment centers would take him for the drinking??? Go figure!! Anyways, I feel like I babbling on and on!! I have so many regrets, I wish I would have done more and I wish I had done this or that, I just don't know!! He called me on Sat the 18th, early that morning and said he was sick and felt like he was dying, I rushed him to ther ER and within 48 hours he was dead!! I do not think I have ever felt so much pain in my life. I want to just breathe again!! To feel normal and I can't!! I WANT MY BROTHER BACK!! I have read over so many of the postings here and they scare me, some of ya'll have been in the same pain for years and years!! All I guess I can do is continue to pray for Gods grace and comfort!! I am sorry this is so long!! Thank all of you for listening!! I just needed to vent a bit!! I am tired of being strong for everyone around me!! God Bless all of you!! [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> [> [> Subject: Re: 34 YEARS OLD
Author: No name [Edit]	Date Posted: 04:34:38 09/05/07 Wed When you read the posts here, it seems like the pain goes on forever, but it is not constant. many of us suffer from recurring pain that comes back on thier birthdays or the day they died, but other times we are ok. just try to get through one day at a time and be really good to yourself. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> [> Subject: How to overcome this grief

Author: Paula (waiting to breate again) [Edit]

Date Posted: 05:51:07 09/05/07 Wed Thank you all for listening to me!! You are right I guess time will take care of all of this, at least that is what I keep hearing, but when he has been my brother for 39 years and such a huge part of my life, we talked everyday, how does time take care of anything!! I wake up every morning feeling like my heart is going to beat out of my chest, like I need to puke my guts out!! I see the ER scene over and over and then the day he died over and over, I want it to go away!! Yes, there are moments I think of him and smile, then I get sad and wish he were here!! I get mad at him for leaving me!! I stay on the internet looking for ways to cure him... how dumb is that, I can't cure him...HE IS DEAD!! Gosh I feel like I am losing my mind and I can't do that I have kids and grand-kids that need me!! I am 41, I have a life to live and all I want to do is sleep!! Once again, I am sorry!~! I just need to vent to someone who understands and I feel like some of you do!! I can't do this to my Mom or Dad, they are dealing with their grief and when I talk to them I have to be the strong one, assuring them, they will be ok...time will heal and he is in a better place, all the BS I get sick of hearing!! Am I going crazy??? [ Post a Reply to This Message ]