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| Subject: Left Behind | |
Author: Katie | [ Next Thread |
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] Date Posted: 16:43:57 02/20/08 Wed I lost my only sibling this past April. His name was Jason and he was two years older than me. At age 25 he chose to end his own life with a gun in my the backyard where we grew up. We were very close as children, and had become recently closer. I struggle everyday because I feel like my intuition was telling me that something was wrong, and I ignored it. He wanted me to go out with him and his friends the day before he did this and I was too busy with my own friends. I wasn't able to say goodbye. I hate being the only child now. My parents are a mess and I secretly am. I teach 4th grade and I am forced to fake happy all day. When I get home I often stay inside and keep to myself. I have haunting nightmares and I relive the day everything happened over and over again. I am longing to find somebody who has dealt with a similar sibling loss to see if what I am feeling is normal. [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: Left Behind | |
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Author: No name [Edit] |
Date Posted: 10:10:38 02/24/08 Sun Dear Katie, Your brother's death is similar to mine, except that my brother killed himself with carbon monoxide. It was ten years ago but I still think about him every day. You are still in the early days of loss. Faking happy might be the best thing for you right now, as long as you don't have to be phony ALL the time. What helped me was going to a Compassionate Friends group and expressing my feelings in a group. It really helped --I felt supported in a way that I had not experienced before and my healing began that day. I saw that people can go on and live their lives, but by helping others to get through their immediate grief, they were helped too. I hope you are able to find a group. Meanwhile, take care of yourself, and do what it takes to get through each hour and day until the pain is less and the happiness is real. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Janette [Edit] |
Date Posted: 08:42:13 03/17/08 Mon Katie--I am responding to let you know that yes, what you feel is normal. My words may not bring you comfort but at least you know you are not alone. I stumbled upon your post because I was looking for a memorial poem for my brother, Robbie, who committed suicide on April 6, 1998. He was 28 years old and like your brother, shot himself in the garage of my dad and stepmom's house. It has been ten years, TEN YEARS, and although I have learned to carry on it only takes one thought, reminder, song, face, word, ANYTHING to take me back to that time. The grief will subside but will never leave completely. The guilt will subside but will never leave completely. It is a very strange feeling because it never goes away. For me, it lingers in the deepest pits of my soul and does not show itself on the outside but remains there on the inside. I could go on and on but I am speaking from a different place than where you are now because your brother's death is still very fresh. All I can say is whatever you are feeling no matter when and where, find a way to express it. If you feel like it is an inappropriate time or place, excuse yourself to the bathroom or somewhere and try to release it. I hope you have a good support system you didn't mention your parents. I was 23 years old at the time and had an almost two year old child (he's 11 now) and had it not been for the support of my friends and family, things probably would have turned out very differently for me. I hope and pray you have someone you can talk to, I am including my e-mail address if you want to know more, I am no expert by any means, just someone who was "left behind" also. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Lost [Edit] |
Date Posted: 20:58:07 04/13/08 Sun Hi, I lost my only sister almost 2 years ago from congestive heart failure. I found her. She died in her sleep. I cannot even describe the pain that I have been through. I can't stand to really be around people anymore. I have to put on a game face at work, and by the days end, I'm exhausted. My husband completely ignores me going through my grief. He claims he don't know what to say. I have been mad at him for 2 years cause he just hasn't been there for me emotionally, then wants me to have sex with him. Anyone else's husband reacts the same way? I don't have what you would call friends, only associates. So, I'm alone a lot, and I have flashbacks from finding her all the time. I have been to a therapist, that didn't help me. I have been to grief counseling at church. That didnt help. I have tried reading bible scriptures. I never feel at peace. I'm always wound up, because I'm angry that I have to go through this alone. My mom is in another state. She and I talk everyday, and some days I don't even want to talk to her or anyone. My sis and I were very close. I cry almost everyday. And I constantly dream about her. Some days I don't want to go on. I am hurting so bad, and I'm so alone......I found this board just surfing. I send out condolences to everyone on here that has lost someone. The doctor tried putting me on anti depressants, and that didnt work either. I have no kids. I seriously need help... [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> [> Subject: Re: Left Behind | |
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Author: No name [Edit] |
Date Posted: 07:03:15 09/09/08 Tue I'm so sorry for your loss. My husband and his family were a total hindrance, I grieved alone and made it through anyway. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: joycie (on an emotional roller coaster ride) [Edit] |
Date Posted: 19:21:52 11/14/09 Sat dearest andrea this sight is all new to me i just lost my sweet sister shirley jean three weeks ago .ten days later my big brother died as well way too much in a month both were batteling with cancer both were strong didnt complain Im so proud to be their sister its certainly ok to cry proves loyalty i know youre heart is heavy with pain my husband thinks im being childish if i cry its difficult to act as if nothing has happened. I cant even deal with his bull t ,right now i ask uor lord to give me strength everyday my anxiety is haywire medication Ativan is the only thing that helps me deal with all this sadness stay strong Bless you! [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: andrea [Edit] |
Date Posted: 14:47:21 09/11/08 Thu hi, i have the exact situation you are in. my husband and i are total strangers now and it has been 7 months since i lost my sister. he doesn't know what to say or how to act. i cry constantly for my sister. she was my best friend. i am so alone, its painful. i am on anti-anxiety pills, which help somewhat. andrea [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: roberta [Edit] |
Date Posted: 13:47:38 09/09/08 Tue Katie, I kind of know what you are going through. I came home from college for Labor Day weekend in 1981 from my first weekend at college. My boyfriend was coming over so my brother went out. He never came home. He did not commit suicide, however, something happened and he blacked out at the wheel and was killed in a car accident. I blamed myself for a long time, thinking that if I only had stayed home by myself, he would have stayed home and would be alive now. But, that isn't the case. Things happen for a reason and will happen one way or another. I am sorry that you did not get to say bye to your brother. I did not either. But, I say hello to him every day. Every day I talk to him and we just had his 27th anniversary of his death. I still miss him, but he is with me everyday, just as is your brother. He is now your guardian angel. He is there to help you and will help you. Look to him for guidance and strength. He would not want you living your life in turmoil. He would want you to live on the best way that you can. I have turned my loss of my only brother and the best friend anyone could ever have, and am now writing a book on coping with the loss of a sibling. Letting people now that you can turn a tragedy into something positive. It doesn't seem like you can move on now...but time will help. your brother will help. Let him. Good luck to you and my prayers are with you and your family to see that you can move on and live your life the way your brother would have wanted you to. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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