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Subject: No sympathy for dying sib

Author: Windsor

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 08:14:56 04/07/08 Mon I received a phone call yesterday from my oldest brother telling me that my older sister (50) was dying from cervical cancer. I haven’t seen or spoken to her since 1999, after she was caught stealing from home during a celebration of the anniversary of my father’s death. For our entire lives we have been at odds and although I should love her, and perhaps I do, but I don’t like or respect her one bit. This is a small forum and I could write a novel. I'm not a victim, however, and I just leave her alone. We live in the same city and we have our own lives. My dilemma is this: She was admitted to hospital yesterday and is in critical condition. I know if I went to visit her she would know she was dying and quite frankly, there isn’t a whole lot of love there between us. Her children probably resent me because I’ve never defended myself to them. It’s their mother/grandmother after all and the problems between us is just that. I refuse to bad-mouth her to them. I don’t want to appear heartless and cold but quite frankly I don’t want to see her. The funeral will be torture for me because she was my mother’s favourite and she always let me know that. The family is completely fragmented and that’s fine with me. I have nothing to do with any of them except my brother. He’s a decent, normal guy. Can you tell me why I don’t feel sad at her impending death? She was treated for pre-cervical cancer 25 years ago and if she took care of herself and didn’t drink a bottle of vodka everyday maybe she wouldn’t be dying. I’m angry with her for doing this to her kids, more than anything. Does anyone have any advice? [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> Subject: Re: No sympathy for dying sib
Author: No name [Edit]	Date Posted: 20:12:06 04/07/08 Mon Dear Windsor, The only advice I have for you is that it will soon be too late to make a decision. You will have the rest of your life to regret it if you decide not to see her. Remember the words of the dead firefighter in the movie Always, "The only pain we carry with us is the love we refuse to give." [ Post a Reply to This Message ]