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Subject: Re: sibling death during childhood

Author: Sandra

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 11:48:45 04/24/08 Thu In reply to: Mary 's message, "sibling death during childhood" on 07:28:51 09/11/05 Sun Dear Mary, Yes, I have experienced the same as you. I was 10 when my baby brother died (he was 18 months old). I am now 60 and have suffered from anxiety all my life. In fact, I am going through some bad anxiety now for which I am seeing a counsellor. I think what I have learned is that due to the fact that our family circumstances were that the death was not talked about, then I didn't fully grieve. Also, what you say is right, we are more sensitive to things that are going on around us. I especially worry about those close to me, but there are some marvellous articles on this site which are helping me at present going through counselling. If you ever want to chat things over, please get in touch. You are not alone. Love Sandra [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

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[> Subject: Re: sibling death during childhood

Author: Sarah [Edit]

Date Posted: 14:10:23 07/08/08 Tue Wow, reading this thread has been an eye-opener. I'm now 52. I lost two sisters in childhood: one was in infant, when I was five. The other died during birth (that was supposed to be normal) two years later. After the first death, I had some kind of huge anxiety attack that went on for months -- starting maybe six weeks later? I remember I had no name for what I was feeling, and it wasn't until I was grown that I realized it was anxiety. My parents did try to help; they took me to a child psychologist at the suggestion of our family doctor, and all I remember about that is being annoyed at missing Saturday cartoons! I remember not wanting to eat but being freaky if my mother threw my food away (I once hid a dried-out hamburger in foil under my bed for weeks.) I remember going ballistic when my mother attempted to leave me at school; I couldn't let her out of my sight for weeks. As an adult, the anxiety resurfaced. It's pretty much been my constant companion for 20 years now. GAD every day, with periodic panic attacks, and now I'm developing agorophobia. Lately it's flared up more, as my youngest sister just lost her month-old infant. I suppose it's a bit of a flashback for me. I've been to shrinks and LCSWs and doctors. I've done therapy (slightly comforting to useless) and medications. At this point in my life, I know that anxiety won't kill me; I just pop half a Xanax when I feel an attack coming or have stiff drink. I won't take Prozac or the like any more (one doctor had me up to 80 mg a day, and anxiety still "broke through"); I'll just deal with it my own way. I never really thought about sibling deaths having "wired" me this way, but reading what others have said here is making me think about that. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]