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Subject: missing my sister

Author: gio

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 22:05:01 10/26/08 Sun I had finished reading your book. There was so many things that you wrote about that made sense. The life space was what really made an impact on me. I lost my older sister 6 years ago. she died at the afe of 43 from a brain aneursym.. no one knew she had that.. so much happened---her son found her and because he didn't know what happened to her, he thought she was murdered. the police actually took him into custody and interrogated him--it wasn't until the autopsy that we all knew what happened. My sister and I are very close-- only 18 months apart.. we are like night and day but complimented each other, supported each other, loved each other.not by words but my actions. we always have been close, talked many times throughout the day & evening.. our calls never started with hello or byes--it was , watcha doing? and call me later -- i miss her so very very much and after readiing some other posts here, i understand that will never go away.. i try really hard not to be depressed and like others have written, do a good job about keeping it together for everyone.. I planned her funeral, dressed her, did her hair and make up and still don't know how i did that.. i felt her there helping me--telling me. don't mess up my fingernails cause you know how messy you are! Life was so fun with her here-- she was my venting partner, my best friend... i don't know why she didn't show any signs of that aneurysm.. no headaches, nothing-- i am afraid that my life will never get better... that without her i am just a shell of who i once was.. i am scared that i am pushing away my spouse and that my children wonder when i will ever be what i used to be.. i do not see my brothers... that makes me miss her more -- sometimes i feel like this a dream and i will wake up and call her and say, gee you won't beleive the horrible nightmare i had... i feel awful that i am not there for her sons, like i should be.. when i read other people's post here, i am not sure if it makes me feel better or not.. i do not want to be on medication but feel that i am depressed... i keep wanting her here... to grow old with-make fun of our wrinkles, take about when menopause will hit, make fun of our brothers, i miss her laughter-- i miss how nothing seemed impossible as long as we were here--i have friends but not like her.... in fact i think my friends distance themselves becuase i am not the same person they use to depend on... and i don't care... [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> Subject: Re: missing my sister

Author: Mary (enocouragement) [Edit]

Date Posted: 19:17:03 10/30/08 Thu Hello, What you wrote was such a lovely piece about your relationship--there is nothing quite like having a sister who you trust. I wanted to share with you what someone told me that has helped--death ends a life, but not a relationship. You knew her so well and were so close that you carry her with you. You know how she would have responded in any situation. Don't stop relating to her now--she is still a part of you. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> Subject: Re: missing my sister

Author: No name [Edit]

Date Posted: 22:00:04 10/31/08 Fri Hi thanks for your encouraging words. i do feel her with me--part of me now...it's just that it's a different life--almost like losing one of my five senses but gettiing another one to compensate.. for example i was having a really bad day yesterday--being really argumentative with my spouse-- i was angry and not sure why...not that isn't true i was angry because i still have her items in boxes and i was trying to figure out what i was going to do with them-- part of me thought--is it time to sort and get rid of her things? she is such a pack rat-- i would tell her this all the time--so i managed to toss somethings and keep others-- i still have one box to do.. then i was throwing away old xmas boxes (after arguing with my spouse about HIS clutter) and then a box that she have given me for a xmas present fell out of the other boxes.. the tag had her handwriting (very neat)To giovanni from rosanne felt like she was telling me, "cut him some slack, don't be so hard on him" she always knew how to settle me down.. and i cried some more over this box..and thanking God for this sign.. the box is still there... not sure when i will throw it away.... [ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> Subject: Re: missing my sister
Author: Mary [Edit]	Date Posted: 00:58:42 11/01/08 Sat Isn't it amazing how evocative handwriting is? I saw my mom's handwriting ten years after she died, and just burst into tears! Seems like your task of sorting out her things is helping you sort out your feelings too. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]