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Subject: lost

Author: Rich (my life has changes forever)

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 08:14:53 06/02/09 Tue Not sure how I found this message board and not one for venting out on the computer but I am at a point in my life where everything has changed. My brother took his own life three months ago and did it in such a way that haunts me. He hung himself in the bathroom of his apartment. When it happened I quicly went into a protection mode for my mother. I identified the body cleaned his apartment and made sure my mom would not witness anything that would cause her more pain. In doing so I never had time to process what happened or what I was feeling. Fast forward three months and I find myself lost and losing the ones I love, my family. My wife has said that I have been overprotective and over bearing and not trusting of her. To her defense I have and it took her to tell me that we need space to realize what I have done. I find myself alone lost and scared of losing her. She has been there for me this whole time and I have not been open with how I am feeling. I have projected all my feelings of losing him on to her and in doing so I have pushed her away. My hope that I can get her back. But as I have come to realize I need to let her be and not stifile her becuase of what happend with Chris. Does this make sense? If so how do get her back into my life? [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> Subject: Re: lost

Author: Greg (hopeful at last) [ Edit | View ]

Date Posted: 17:24:11 06/05/09 Fri Dear Rich, I am so sorry about your brother. My brother also killed himself because his wife had left him. I was so mad at him for years that if he had come back I almost could have killed him myself because of the pain it caused our family. He had financial problems and had tapped out so many people, they finally stopped loaning him money. He used our mom's retirement and she was left with almost nothing. And yes, afterwards, everything else seemed to fall apart too. One of my sisters ended up getting a divorce. Seems like you either grieve together or you get divorced. Years have passed now and it is all much better. I still miss him, but my anger has passed, and I am just thankful for each day that comes and for the little things that make life worth living. Hang in there. [ Post a Reply to This Message ]