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Subject:  Support and Confusion... |
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Author: Brianna | [ Next Thread |
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] Date Posted: 2/10/06 16:01 Hey, I was looking for support. I'm not sure how to explain this. I have done numerous Tarot readings to help me understand what and why??? I'm looking for advice to help bring me and my friend closer again. I don't mean to control her. But to destroy the blockage between us. I did readings on how she feels and if she loves me etc. and each reading gave me the same message. She does, but both of us are so hard headed. It's so confusing... What do you all think?? [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: Support and Confusion... | |
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Author: zenwind [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 2/10/06 18:08 Hi Brianna Nice to meet you :) I am sorry to hear you are experiencing confusion and sadness over your friend. Your tarot reading says she loves you but does she not behave like she does? In order to have a friend....one must 'be a friend'..... You don't give many details from your message it seems like you are having trouble communicating with your friend about the disharmony between you, is this right? Much metta namaste zenwind [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> [> Subject: Re: Support and Confusion... More Information | |
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Author: Brianna [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 2/10/06 18:36 ***This will be long*** Hi, I will try to give more information on my situation. I moved to Houston Texas to be closer to her. We were so close we knew when something was up with the other before talking. she started acting all wierd before I moved And during the time the plan to move was in place. She shut down on me and started pushing me away and I began to fear her because of how mean she'd get. So I got to Texas and was so afraid being so far from home, and so afraid of her so i had shut down on her. She couldn't handle that and shut down on me again. I ofcourse took all the blame to keep the peace when in reality she started this whole issue. I had done and made mistakes yes but so had she. she didn't understand that. So on this went. till she flipped out on me and told me she wanted nothing more to do with me. then she contacts me again and pretty much blames me for all this. Recently I got so mad at her lying and me being the one to open up but she staying shut off from me. I kept trying to tell her nicely what she was doing, how much I was bothered and hurting over stuff. Etc. but she didn't listen. So I flipped out simply to get her attention. I told her to make a choice, and figure out what is important to her??? And to tell me straight up. Now she won't talk to me. And it makes me mad so I been doing all these readings to try to understand what she is feeling. What she feels about me??? First reading about if she loves me, all three cards were positive, all mentioned feelings of love, the number 9 showed up twice and that number represents transcendent love. That I feel is my answer. Other reading was how does she feel about this whole situation right now and thats has gone on??? Cards were pretty much negative cards. Talked about feeling guilty, sad, depressed, etc. Aswell as about being good at hiding true emotions, and feelings of powerlessness etc. I did this reading twice and got the same response and some of the same cards had repeated themselves. So it's not like she doesn't care or anything. But to me she feels she cannot do anything about all this. there's a blockage then. In reality there is something she can do about this. Open her heart and stop cutting me off. I don't think she sees or realizes that. the negative feelings are in my eyes clouding up her perception. I'm open I don't have the blockage because I'm over hear trying, and giving, I just need her to give a little back. Originally she said her reasons for telling me she doesn't want anything to do with me was because she felt isolating me would get me to open up again. It did but she didn't open up to me and give back. I beleive she wants the same thing I want judging by the readings. But she doesn't know how or even see all is not lost. And doesn't see what she can do to make things ok again. Perhaps a spell to help her see the light, and all that??? I'm not trying to force her to love me, force her to do what I want her to do, but just trying to help her see what she isn't able to see. What do you all think and suggest? [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> [> [> Subject: Another thing | |
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Author: Brianna [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 2/10/06 18:38 May I also add that I'm not trying to make her love me because I know she allready does, I'm not trying to make her do what I want her to do because she I feel allready does but feels powerless and like all is lost. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: Support and Confusion... | |
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Author: whitewolf [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 2/10/06 18:38 Hi Brianna, sorry to hear you are experiencing troubles with a friend... best advice I could give at the moment : put the tarot cards away and communicate directly with your friend. If you are true (soul)friends then you can get past any differences/difficulties. If you find that you can't... there's no point in forcing something. People come and go throughout our lives - our soul friends/family remain, however long it ends up being between meeting up with each other - true friendship outlasts distances / lost-contact... sorry, going off on a tangent a bit lol (just thinking about the friends I have moved away from and how much I miss them, but I know that they will always be there, however far apart we are physically!) Anyway... back to your situation - if you and your friend can get together and have a chat I think you'll feel a lot better than just sitting with your cards. If you both feel like something's up and want to 'break down the blockages' how about trying a cleansing ritual together. Something that you BOTH have to be 'up for' - there's no point in doing workings that one of you is not interested in. If you both want to give it a try how about putting aside some time to relax in each others company, maybe get your favourite food or drink in, or something you really enjoy doing together...maybe just meditating together, or creating something together, or going for a walk... You could try smudging each other with Sage if you feel inclined - let it wash away the negative and then fill the spaces with love and respect, positivity and joy. Don't view a cleansing as a 'quick fix' though - if there IS a problem you need to sort it out through comminucation and 'mundane ways', no amount of 'magical workings' will fix it otherwise :) I hope you can sort out your difficulties, but don't fret or hang on to things that are lost... if that makes sense...? if things are meant to be - they will :) Blessings whitewolf [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: Support and Confusion... | |
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Author: whitewolf [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 2/10/06 18:44 Ah.. I took so long over writing my original reply that I missed your 'explanation' postings... but no, I don't think a spell to help her 'see the light' is the way to go. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: Support and Confusion... | |
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Author: zenwind [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 2/10/06 19:21 Hi I think what whitewolf said is spot on and I echo her words. It sounds a very painful situation already and trying to make someone else do something when they don't want to help make things better along with you will just make your pain worse. You could end up very hurt that way. I would try either communicating or doing nothing, keep the door to your heart open and if she wants to, or she is a soul friend and you have been together in previous lifetimes, she will find you when the time is right, you will be pulled together due to shared connection. When we want someone we often cling to them, find ways of getting them back or getting them to behave in certain ways, hoping this will keep them near us, but this can often have the oppposite effect......and though it will be hard, I would try to give her space.....and let life flow. Of course this relates to my perspective on life which is different to yours no doubt, but just offer my 2 cents worth....and know I am thinking of you and wishing the best. namaste zenwind [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: Support and Confusion... | |
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Author: Rowan [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 2/10/06 19:54 Hi Brianna You said your friend started to shut down on you when she knew you were moving. Maybe she did that as a sort of protection for herself - knowing that someone she was very close to was going away, might have been hard for her to handle. Or maybe she even felt you were deserting her and felt hurt. Without knowing her, its hard to know. And things snowballed from there, because you reacted to her negativity and she to you and so on. It seems you are both stuck and I feel it might be best to take a step back. I agree with Zenwind that sometimes clinging desperately to someone can actually drive them further away. I also agree with Whitewolf to get rid of the Tarot Cards. They have their place, but remember that the reading is only as good as the person who is interpreting and also isn't infallable. I used them in a relationship once and in a way used the relationship to fit the reading which ended up being counter productive. i also spent so much time studying cards that I was losing touch with the day to day reality of the other person. If your friend won't get together with you as Whitewolf suggested, then send her a lovely card, with a few words in to say that you are sad that the two of you have drifted apart when you were once so close, that you still love and care for her, but respect her feelings. That if she wants to stay apart from you, then you understand but to know that you are always there for her. Take time to meditate quietly, keeping your heart centre open and sending loving, non judgmental thoughts to your friend. Imagine that this beautiful rose pink and green light (heart chakra colours) encircling the two of you, disolving all negativity between you. Positive thoughts have great power - you can even send your heart wish out to the universe and ask that your friendship can once again be made whole. Then trust and let go and what is meant to be, will be :) Blessings Rowan x [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: Support and Confusion... | |
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Author: Rowan [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 2/10/06 20:07 Reading your posting again, did your friend start to change even before a move was mentioned? If that was the case it seems there was and is somthing in your relationship that isn't working - it appears to be a communication problem as both of you are blaming each other for "shutting down". A good friendship should be strong enough for the two of you to talk this over and to be able to shrug it off as a misunderstanding. The intensity of the situation isn't very healthy in a friendship and can end up being destructive. If all the suggestions on this thread don't work, trust that that is Ok and there is a new direction for each of you to take. I am sure that you will find other special people on your path when the time is right. Rowan x [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: Support and Confusion... | |
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Author: sweetsong [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 3/10/06 9:50 i'm known for being forthright so i'll say what i think! genuine love is shown in behaviour, whether or not the tarot cards tell you she loves you or not is less important than what she shows you! Would you want an abusive friend who hurt you but then said 'oh but i love you honestly, truly' NO. there is love and there is posessive emotion people think is love that isn't love at all and this can have very dodgy results, you don't want posessive love it is not real love but is about how the other person pleases you! they are posessions!! objects!! UGH. if you love her let her choose what she wants to do, let her choose your freindship or not. . i made this mistake once. my best friend left to travel to thailand and i felt she had dropped me. of course she hadn't it was just the world did not revolve around me or her feelings to me. i imagined that she was homesick and this was why she didn't write so i wrote a lot but letters back to me were hardly ever there. of course she was having fun, it was her time to have fun she didn't need me to have fun! but i built it up in my brain that she was either homesick so not contacting me to protect herself from coming home or no longer loved me. the truth was neither. she was jut having fun and thought i was having fun and that nothing was a problem between us. However at this point i broke friends in my mind. her letters full of discussion around new people made her think i was no longer her best friend. i made myself sick with worry and could not be happy for her. eventually i thought this is stupid, and remembered the whole if you love someone set them free. I quesetioned who i loved more her or me. ME of course. I did a lot of work on love and eventually realised i'd been a fool. And the love flowed back in. i wanted her to grow with or without me that is true love. What she was offering me i gave back. and of course they flyl back. in this universe you cannot own anyone. the sky does not own the earth but they work together, people are no different we just think differently due to times at school where we feel we will lose our friends to others. listen to what whitewolf, zenwind and rowan says too.. hope this helps. zenwind i do not know you THAT well yet but if our journey together is long or short or for eternity or not, i will always love you were a fellow traveller and my guide and teacher for a short while. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: Support and Confusion... | |
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Author: Ash [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 3/10/06 19:20 "Perhaps a spell to help her see the light, and all that??? " Perhaps not. It seems to me that you are trying to make her into your paragon, to change her and make her more appealing to your ideals, which in itself is very selfish and wrong. May I enquire as to your age? From your posts I get the impression you are quite young. If you are then perhaps you lack the experience to handle this situation? I am quite young myself (19) and i like to think i know it all, but in reality there are many things that i lack the experience to deal with in a sensible manner. You can't force or change people, all you can do is accept them- foibles and all! If she is causing you so much grief then why do you stick around her? You're either very naive or you enjoy the drama. I don't mean to sound belligerent, but that's just what I got from your message. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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