Kidneys -- HarmyBoard LifeStyles

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Date Posted: 00:47:56 10/28/09 Wed
Author: Theresa
Subject: Kidneys

Anyone here ever given or recieved a kidney in transplant? I may need to donate to my mother sometime soon. She's got Lupus that has given her kidney failure. Any advice or experiences to share? This comes at a very difficult time in my life as I'm in the midst of divorcing. Any tips on keeping up my health and reducing stress to stay healthy for this?

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[> Oh, Theresa, I don't know anything about that, but I will definitely keep you and your mother in my thoughts and prayers! -- JAG Junkie (Ronda)--Do you know if you're a match?, 03:43:51 10/28/09 Wed [1]

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[> I know nothing about kidney transplants, other than my niece has been on the waiting list for a long time, (she had early onset type 1 diabetes which has taken its toll over the years.) I believe that you can live a healthy life with one kidney. But it is my personal belief that a young mother, with dependent children, should not take that risk , particularly when she has had other health risk factors in the past. They need you more than an adult parent.. (inside) -- Cece, 09:46:45 10/28/09 Wed [1]

Right now, their world has been destablized. They shouldn't have to worry about their mother's health, or the fear they might lose her. As someone who lost her own mother at the age of 12, I know what I'm talking about.

When you make your decision, ask yourself this question: Would you want, expect, or allow either of your girls to do this for you, in the same circumstances? I'm betting not, and I'm betting your mother will feel the same way.

Meanwhile, I wish your mother the very best, and if she is put on the list, I'm keeping my fingers crossed she won't have to wait very long.

(PS) My nephew in-law is a nephrologist(http://www.zoominfo.com/people/Pierratos_Andreas_15941438.aspx ) on the faculty at the University of Toronto. He is widely known for his kidney research, including "Night home hemodialysis", an alternative to day dialysis. I'll email him and see what he says about risk factors.

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[> [> My mom would fight me on this yes Cece, as much as I know she would hav saved her own mother that way, or any way she could. Would I allow my kids to give me a kidney? Depends on the options, and what would hurt them more. Giving me a kidney, or standing and watching me die when they know they could have saved me bcause I refused to accept their gift. Hmmmm... -- Theresa, 23:05:45 10/28/09 Wed [1]

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[> Theresa sorry I don't have any advice but my thoughts arer with you and your mother. I'm here if you need anything. -- Hope, 13:01:47 10/28/09 Wed [1]

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[> You must truly be suffering right now, Theresa, and I will lift your worries up to THAT which transcends pain and what you can't bear. You MUST get professional advice re: your suitability as a kidney donor. Normally, there is a team in place at the hospital who can do the physiological testing (match, etc), but also counsel you on whether this is the right, overall, decision, for you and your Mom. Meanwhile, you must stay healthy -- eat a nutrionally balanced diet -- you might need a basic good multi vitamin/mineral supplement, cont'd -- inside -- mj, 15:12:41 10/28/09 Wed [1]

get adequate hydration,sleep, and exercise. Engage in something that can help alleviate stress. Let us know how you get on.

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[> Theresa, I am so sorry to hear of your mom’s situation as well as what you are going through. I echo the advice given by others, and add a bit of insight from my family’s experience. I have a sister and a brother who each has had a kidney transplant. First of all, is your mom already on dialysis? While dialysis is certainly not fun to go through, it does typically give a person time – and gives you time to think about possibly being a donor. (Inside) -- lisa, 18:32:13 10/28/09 Wed [1]

And as I’m sure you know, you’ll have to go through a process to determine if you are even a match. From what I know, kidneys are more easily matched than other organs, and as a result, there is every reason to believe a non-related match could work. In fact, there may be a more distant family member or even a friend who could possibly match.

In my family’s case I and three of my five sibs have a condition called polycystic kidney disease which can lead to kidney failure as it did with my sister and brother. The two sibs without could potentially be donors. One was ruled out, one sister was a potential match, however a close friend of my sister felt led to see if he would match. He turned out to be a perfect match and the fact that he was a male was even better. Because a male kidney is bigger that a woman’s, kidneys donated from men are especially ideal – as I’ve been told.

And, if your mom is on a donor list, you never know when a match might be found. That is how my brother received his transplant before he even needed dialysis. His kidneys were starting to fail, but not to the point of needing dialysis when he received a middle of the night call stating there was a kidney for him. He almost didn’t take it because he felt he wasn’t that bad off yet. It took his doctor calling him personally in the middle of the night to tell him he was crazy not to.

I tell you all this to say, don’t rush into a decision – especially when there may be other options. While of course you want to help your mom who I sense you are very close with, it may well be that the way you can help her is to support her in other ways while you parent your children. Recovery from a transplant, both by the recipient and the donor, takes time. I think the friend who donated to my sister was off from work several weeks (it may have even been as much as 6 weeks – I can’t remember.)

You and your mom will be in my thoughts and prayers as you go through these difficult times.

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[> Dear Theresa- I am so sorry to hear about your mom & the divorce- I have no first hand knowledge on transplants but will keep her and your family in my prayers. -- kleigh, 19:59:19 10/28/09 Wed [1]

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[> [> Theresa, I'm sorry to hear of all this. I didn't realize you were going through divorce proceedings, or how ill your Mom is. I wish I could offer info on the kidney issue, but I only know what's been said here- and that's how you must be a match and go through testing to see how many "markers" you have that would match up. Kidney surgery is is major, and would not be fun to recover from-especially while raising young children. Do you have siblings? If so, are they willing to be donors if they match? -- Matou/Carol, 07:06:25 10/29/09 Thu [1]

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[> [> [> (cont'd) Lots I don't know, obviously, but there is lots to consider & think about, so don't rush into anything until you find out if there is another viable solution out there first. I'm not saying you wouldn't hesitate to be there for your Mom, but it's also possible a better match is available from another person- it's been known to happen. Take care- I'll be praying for all of you. -- Matou/Carol, 07:07:32 10/29/09 Thu [1]

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[> [> [> [> Thank you Matou. I have 5 siblings, all of which have children, all of which are willing to do what I'm willing to do for Mama. She gave us life, there's no way we won't return the favor if we possibly can. I have her blood type, that's the first step. Don't know how many of my siblings have it too. -- Theresa, 08:22:32 10/29/09 Thu [1]

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[> [> [> [> [> Five siblings sounds like an excellent support group- that's important - as for keeping stress down - Reading helped me with my ulcers - getting lost in a good book makes me forget everything including the thigns that stress me - Don't know how much help that will be- but I'll be praying for you -- chris k, 20:13:35 10/29/09 Thu [1]

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[> Theresa Sorry I can't give you any advice but I will be praying for you and your mom. -- Valerie, 09:13:08 10/29/09 Thu [1]

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[> Theresa- I'm so sorry for all you are going through right now. I don't have any advice to offer-- but you have all my support. -- love-manette, 09:25:08 10/29/09 Thu [1]

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[> Theresa, I will add you to my prayers, sending hugs your way -- Jen, 11:15:02 10/29/09 Thu [1]

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[> Theresa, I'm sorry to know your family is dealing with so much. My BIL had a kidney transplant last year. He was on dialysis for some time prior to finding a donor. Like lisa's family, this person, no relation to him felt spititually led to help and was a 100% match. ...Inside: -- mkim, 17:57:31 10/29/09 Thu [1]

I'll go along with the others and say that keeping yourself as healthy as possible. Since you cant change the fact that your going through the divorce at the same time as your family is dealing with you mom's health issues, maybe increasing the amount of time you are exercising might help. It might help you blow off steam and help you clear your mind to focus on what is most important.

Just a thought.

One thing that surprised me though, his and his donor's dental health was as important as any other medical issue you might have. See your dentist and make sure youre squared away in that regard.

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[> [> Interesting! Okay thank you Mkim! -- Theresa, 18:13:44 10/29/09 Thu [1]

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[> Theresa, my heart goes out to you and the family. I know absolutely nothing about transplants, but I do know how to send up prayers for others. I sincerely wish you success with the decision making -- do think of your children, especially now that your home has been split..... -- carramor, 19:43:22 10/29/09 Thu [1]

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[> Theresa, you and your mom are in my thoughts. Just want to let you know that my brother-in-law got a kidney from a deceased stranger. The kidney is functioning fine after 20+ years. Take care of yourself! -- Sunset, 18:42:28 11/02/09 Mon [1]

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